Three Irishmen -- Paddy, Sean and Seamus -- were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.
"Come have a look over here," says Paddy. "It's Michael O'Grady's grave. You remember Michael, from Cork? God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."
"That's nothing," says Sean, "And here's Patrick O'Toole, from Limerick. Iit says here he was 95 when he died."
Just then, Seamus yells out, "Saints preserve us! Here's a fella that got to be 145!"
"What was his name?" asks Paddy.
Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles. From Dublin."
Mary Clancy
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady's after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
"So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?" asks Farther O'Grady.
"Oh, Father," she says, "I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
"Oh, Mary, that's terrible," says Father O'Grady. "Tell me, did he have any last requests?"
"That he did, Father ... " says Mary.
"What did he ask, Mary?" inquires Father O'Grady.
"He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that damn gun!' "
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