Sunday, January 31, 2010

I am NOT Making this Up Either

In Baltimore the homeless got together and raised $14.64 for the poor folks in Haiti.

Discuss.

I Am NOT Making This Up

Actual Headline:

Britain on alert for deadly new knife with exploding tip that freezes victims' organs

Surprisingly, the "police are concerned that the £200 weapon could fall into the wrong hands."

Ah yes, the police. The guys who made the top 95% of your high school class possible.

And Some People Consider Pakistan to be Backwards

Why?

Pakistan’s president Asif Ali Zardari has been slaughtering black goats every day since becoming President, in an attempt to ward off “the evil eye”.

This particular practice in the Muslim faith is called ‘Sadaqa’, where an animal is slaughtered and its meat distributed among the poor to gain Allah’s blessings and protection from misfortune. “There are many religious traditions in Pakistan based on local culture and Sufi order,” says Samina Ahmed, Head of the International Crisis Group in Pakistan.


Yeah, you read that correctly.

Some cultures are inferior. It's not politically correct to say that, of course, but that doesn't mean it's not true.

Just a thought, but instead of keeping troops over there in that part of the world, why don't we:

(a) use the nukes we spent so much money on over the years, or
(b) tell them we have cast an evil eye spell on them and if they act badly, well, see (a), above

Facebook is Confusing

That's all.

I get poked, then I get comments from people I've never met, then people mock me for commenting TOO MUCH (apparently you can't use more than 6 words in a comment).

My kids don't understand why I am doing it at all.

Still shocked they don't have the sarcasm font figured out yet.

Betsy's older sister is extremely liberal. As in no sentient being really believes in the stuff you believe in liberal.

If you hang out with people from high school on Facebook are there still cool kids? I don't think there are, which suggests that maybe high school should be handled online.

Okay, bad idea. Just a thought.

Celebrity Doppelganger Week on Facebook

The fact that JD Salinger died the same week as Celebrity Doppelganger Week on Facebook is proof that (a) there is a God and (b) he has a sense of humor.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Monday, January 25, 2010

A Problem That Can Be Solved

All we hear these days is that these problems our nation has don't have easy solutions, but what the speaker usually means is that he or she is too lazy to do what needs to be done. The Wall Street Journal offers a glimpse into a California problem that really impacts the whole country.

The state is in a precarious position, with a 12.3% unemployment rate (more than two points higher than the national average) and a budget $20 billion in the red (only months after the last budget fix closed a large deficit). Productive Californians are leaving for states with less-punishing regulatory and tax regimes. Yet so far there isn't a broad consensus to do much about those who have prodded the state into its current position: public employee unions that drive costs up and fight to block spending cuts.

Earlier this month, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger proposed a budget that calls for a $6.9 billion handout from Washington (unlikely to be forthcoming) and vows to protect current education funding, 40% of the state's budget. He does want to eliminate the Calworks welfare-to-work program and enact a 5% pay cut for state employees. These are reasonable ideas, but also politically unlikely.


It's that last idea that intrigues me. Is a 5% pay cut that big a deal. Wouldn't you rather have a 5% pay cut than no job? But here's the rub:

Approximately 85% of the state's 235,000 employees (not including higher education employees) are unionized. As the governor noted during his $83 billion budget roll-out, over the past decade pension costs for public employees increased 2,000%. State revenues increased only 24% over the same period. A Schwarzenegger adviser wrote in the San Jose Mercury News in the past few days that, "This year alone, $3 billion was diverted to pension costs from other programs." There are now more than 15,000 government retirees statewide who receive pensions that exceed $100,000 a year, according to the California Foundation for Fiscal Responsibility.

Many of these retirees are former police officers, firefighters, and prison guards who can retire at age 50 with a pension that equals 90% of their final year's pay. The pensions for these (and all other retirees) increase each year with inflation and are guaranteed by taxpayers forever—regardless of what happens in the economy or whether the state's pensions funds have been fully funded (which they haven't been).

A 2008 state commission pegged California's unfunded pension liability at $63.5 billion, which will be amortized over several decades. That liability, released before the precipitous drop in stock-market and real-estate values, certainly will soar.


Fact: every industry that is unionized is in a world of hurt. Why? Because the economics of unionization don't work anymore. Once upon a time they did. Unions got fat and powerful (Thanks FDR!) and it's obvious they have completely consumed the industries that fed them for so long (e.g.,autos, airlines, steel, government, etc.)

This has been obvious for decades, and in the end, the unions will do what they always do: screw the rank and file. The money isn't there anymore; there's no one left to extort. Union benefits are and always have been a type of Ponzi scheme, and Ponzi schemes always collapse.

Always.

So, Ahnuld, you ain't getting $6.9 B from the feds, and you need to cut your state employee wages by 10% across the board and pension benefits by 15% across the board. It's called living in the real world.

As an aside, why do government workers need a union. Unions, after all, came into being to "level the playing field" and allow workers to negotiate with management on an equal footing. Before before the NLRB and other Democrat union boosting schemes, the thought was that unions needed protection from big, bad management and the government had to step in a referee their negotiations.

But for government workers isn't the government helping to protect the workers from...the government? That makes no sense at all.

Cut them 15% across the board. What is the worst thing that can happen: the level of service goes down?

How would anyone know?

Friday, January 22, 2010

That Really Had To Hurt

Turn down the sound and prepare to wince. I am pretty sure the old "no one was injured in the making of this video" line does not apply.

I also can't believe this video does not include either the health care bill or the Massachusetts senatorial election.

If Only Conan Had Booked This Act

Maybe YouTube Isn't Such A Good Idea After All

You Who Posted This?

Chachi. Would not have guessed that either.

Who Said It?

“We’ve got to eliminate programs that don’t work, and we’ve got to make sure that the programs that we do have are more efficient and cost less.”

Give up?

Yup, that was Barack F. Obama.

Guess he needs to take a look at Head Start. Although my son says I can't say it, this is an epic fail kind of deal.

Head Start is one of those liberal darling programs. It's really hard to be against a program that tries to help improve the education of disadvantaged kids. On paper it makes some degree of sense.

Just one little problem: IT DOESN'T WORK.

This is typical of most (indeed, arguably ALL) liberal programs - they are well-intentioned efforts to fix a recognized societal problem. Head Start didn't make things worse, at least. That's normally what happens.

This report should kill Head Start, because after 40 years it's obvious it doesn't work. But it won't.

The same analysis applies to Medicare. Time to start over.

It's Been a Political Week

Okay, to recap:

Massachusetts elects a Republican to fill Ted Freaking Kennedy's Senate seat.

The top secret, no one knows what is in it, doesn't really accomplish much but costs a bundle Health Care Reform Bill dies an ignominious death.

Air America crashes and burns. Finally.

Martini, anyone?

Then there is this:



Gays support Obama, who immediately bones them (this is the theme of his first year in office). Cindy McCain steps up does and ad that openly supports of the kind of stuff gays most want from government: equal treatments and respect.

Now I think reasonable people can disagree on these so-called gay issues in good faith. I think it is better to win hearts and minds over time and win at the ballot box than to get courts to fix a perceived problem. I think in the long run gays will get most of what they want (although maybe not in exactly the form they want) because I think most Americans are good, decent people who believe everyone deserves a fair shake.

I don't care if someone is gay; why should I? All I care about is if they are a good person. I think most people feel this way because it's the American Way.

Schadenfreude!

Air America is finally out of business for good.

To be honest, I think we are better served if there is more than just conservative talk radio out there. But I think this proves two things: (1) there is NO market for the ideas of the far left, which has been intellectually and morally bankrupt for about 50 years and (2) there is a market for ideas on the right (but not so much the far right) because most of the ideas - not all, but most - are close enough to the center that a large number of people agree with them in whole or in part.

Message to Republicans

Dudes,

Just because you've been winning some big elections doesn't mean America suddenly likes or trusts you. It's more a function of the fact that the Democratic Party leadership have proven themselves to be total douches, kind of like you guys did when you were in charge a few years back.

So don't start celebrating...we still hate you guys, too!

There are problems, real problems, facing this country. They have solutions. These solutions aren't perfect and you'll both have to compromise, but it can be done.

So the moral of this story: don't be a douche. I know it's hard for you guys, but give it a try.

And get the hell out of Afghanistan and Iraq. I don't know what the difference is between winning and losing in either place, so why keep spending money we don't have? That's what a douche would do.

A Short Trip Back to the 1980s



The girl in this video is Scott Brown's wife, circa 1984. The song sucks, but I am in no way offended that she once wore a bikini in a music video. Nor am I offended that he posed nude for Cosmo. Yet someone thinks I should be.

Suffering succotash! I don't care too much what someone did in their youth so long as it was not illegal, and even then I'd cut most folks some slack depending on what the offense was. If they were just hurting themselves (e.g., drug use), do I really care? No. What you did 20-30 years ago will, in most cases, have very little to do with who you are today.

Do I care that Teddy Kennedy was a drunken, cheating philanderer in his youth? No. I care that he was a drunken, cheating philanderer while he was a U.S. Senator.

And I do care if someone used to be, say, a card carrying commie AND THEY STILL THINK THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Or if they used to blow stuff up and kill people as a sign of protest and THEY STILL THINK THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
These examples, of course, identify a few current and former members of the Obama Administration or close friends of the Pres. Now that bothers me.

Monday, January 18, 2010

I Have No Idea

Rarely has the phrase" Hey you! Out of the gene pool" been more apropos. This guy has FUTURE POSTAL WORKER written all over him.


Golden Globes Last Night

I know what you are thinking: WHO GIVES A *&^%? I agree, but I feel compelled to comment on all awards shows.

First, Jeff Bridges won. Finally. One of my all time favorite actors. A truly nice guy, consummate professional, and, among the rarest of all things in Hollywood, a genuine, decent, family man. Jeff Bridges is awesome. Enough said.

Second, can you beat the excitement every year of waiting to see if Meryl Streep would beat out Meryl Streep. I mean, I am glad Meryl Streep won for Julia and Julia or whatever it was called because Besty really liked it, but I was also disappointed for Meryl Streep because she lost for It's Complicated, which just came out and no one has seen yet.

Third, Monique. Just because you were in BeerFest only gets you so far. Shave your damn legs!

I love it when the fashion experts conclude that Heidi Klum, Halle Berry, Olivia Wilde or Penelope Cruz look fabulous. Duh! Helen Keller could see that. I don't give a damn if these losers like their dress or not.


Penelope Cruz got a C+. I don't even know who this other chick is (BUT HER SLIP IS SHOWING), but she is no Penelope Cruz and she got a B+. So STFU.



Finally, I was very happy it rained. Because California needs the rain. Also because these pinheads all need to be taken down a notch. Attending the Golden Freaking Globes is not the same as actually helping out with the relief efforts in Haiti, even though most of the attendees seemed to think so. Led of course by George Clooney. Can't wait for his Haiti Telethon! I wish he had gotten his head blown off by Brad Pitt in Burn After Reading rather than vice versa. And if you haven't seen it yet THAT DOES NOT REALLY HAPPEN IN THE MOVIE.

And before I forget, enough with the ribbons. Who designs these things? I am going to start wearing ribbons so people will ask me what they are for and I'll tell them some compelling story about pre-teens who are too poor to buy a ticket to see Twilight or New Moon and then I'll sell a million of them and take a year off from work.

Matt Damon put ina plug for UNICEF. Matt Damon, another mega douche. I'd rather burn my money than to see a single penny pass thru the hands of the UN. Guaranteed not one penny makes it to Haiti.

Man, where doe the time go?

Eight days since my last post. Pathetic. Not as pathetic as Lane "The Douche" Kiffin, but still pathetic.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Random Thoughts for the Day

Courtesy of Amanda Casey. Lord knows where she got them from.

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this item ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?
Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day, "Dad, what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Face It: That is FUNNY Hair.

This Week in Crapazines

Who gives a crap?

I mean really. I do not get the female obsession with crapazines like People, Us Weekly and InTouch. But it's a consumer driven society. You gotta give them what they want, even if it's total crap.

So here you go. Mariah Carey gave an acceptance speech last night at the Palm Springs International Film Festival (whatever THAT is) for her role in the movie Precious (never heard of it). She won an award. Must have been for worst actress of all time or something. Anyway, it's worth a few seconds of your time to hear her drunken babbling.



It's kind of funny. Admit it. You laughed. I know you did.

LOST Returns



February 2. The Lost Supper. Get it?

Unless that bastard Obama moves the freaking State of the Union to February 2! That will really upset me, and I am already pretty mad at him.

We gave up caring about the State of the Union address a long time ago. All that stupid clapping and watching old guys sleeping. It sucks!

Jefferson had it right, as usual. Just send a note. That's right, Jefferson didn't see the point in making a speech. And he didn't even have to worry about pre-empting LOST. Freaking genius that man was.

If I was President that's what I would do. I'd send a note that says:

Dudes. You have got to be kidding me! You are a bunch of crooks and everyone knows it. Cut the crap. Spend less money or I am going to veto your asses back to the Stone Age.

Movie Review: Inglorious Basterds

Awesome movie. YOU.MUST.SEE.IT.

A little violent, but in that uniquely Quentin Tarantino over the top style that is laced with humor in a way that makes it tolerable.

A war movie in which the good guys (Americans) win. Can't believe Hollywood made it, actually. They could make the same movie today about hunting down al Queda using the exact same tactics (which, of course, is something I strongly advocate, especially the part where we carve stuff on the foreheads of those we don't kill so we can always identify them) and it would be a cause celebre among on the Left because it shows how rotten Americans are.

I have a new found respect for Brad Pitt, who I always thought was a great supporting actor trapped in a leading man's body. He should get an Academy Award nomination. Of course, he won't.

Bastards.

Footnote: Tarantino has Knoxville ties and usually has a reference in his films to K-Town. In this flick the reference is to Maynardville. How cool is that?

Note to Self: must work on all-time favorite movie list and guilty pleasure movie list.

Just for Fun

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Tax Season

"Ah, now there's the rub."

That's Coleridge. One of my favorite lines. But I digress.

Yes, tax season begins (kinda sorta) tomorrow. It's not that bad. I worry more about future tax seasons as the tax code is unquestionably going to get worse and worse and taxes more onerous. On the one hand, I should note that is good for my business. On the other hand, IT SUCKS AND IT'S BAD FOR THE COUNTRY IN A MILLION DIFFERENT WAYS.

Son of a bee sting.

We need to get rid of every SOB in Washington. 'Nuff said.