A Much Needed Laugh

Uh, Okay. But Is This Really an Issue?

Ouch!

I Think This is From the Stimulus Spending

I'd prefer the fine myself.

Dumb Enough To Be in Congress

SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. – A California woman facing nearly five years in prison for forging drug prescriptions showed up for sentencing with a phony doctor's note seeking a delay in the proceedings.

Michelle Elaine Astumian was free on $45,000 bail and pleaded no contest in January to felony counts of forgery and using a fraudulent check.

The 41-year-old woman arrived Monday for sentencing in a San Luis Obispo County courtroom and presented a note with a doctor's signature asking for a postponement.

Prosecutor Dave Pomeroy called the doctor, who said the note is a forgery.

The judge immediately ordered Astumian into custody and she collapsed to the floor. An ambulance took her to a hospital.

Pomeroy told the San Luis Obispo County Tribune that Astumian will be sentenced later, but he doesn't know when.

Wanna bet that when she collapsed she was faking it?

Sadly, I am not making this up.

This would be funny if it wasn't so sad. And yes, I am sure Republicans do the same thing.

I've always known Chuck Schumer was a slimy, no good, worthless, dishonest bastard. Now I know he's worse.

Sen. Charles Schumer, D(Dickhead)-N.Y., a member of the Democratic Senate leadership, got on a conference call with reporters Tuesday morning without realizing the reporters were already listening in. Schumer thought he was on a private line with four Democratic senators who were to talk with reporters about the current budget stalemate.

Schumer instructed the group, made up of Sens. Barbara Boxer of California, Tom Carper of Delaware, Ben Cardin of Maryland and Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut, to tell reporters that the GOP is refusing to negotiate.

He told the group to make sure they label the GOP spending cuts as "extreme."

"I always use extreme, Schumer said. "That is what the caucus instructed me to use."

Someone must have finally told Schumer that the media were listening and he stopped talking midsentence.

Here's a bit more of what he said about House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, according to my notes.

"The main thrust is basically that we want to negotiate and we want to come up with a compromise but the Tea Party is pulling Boehner too far over to the right and so far over that there is no more fruitful negotiations," Schumer said on the call. "The only way we can avoid a shutdown is for Boehner to come up with a reasonable compromise and not just listen to what the Tea Party wants. "

Schumer described Boehner as "in a box," over the budget negotiations.

The four senators came on the call after Schumer abruptly went silent and followed Schumer's script closely.

Coordinating the message is common in both parties, but it's uncommon for reporters to actually hear them rehearsing.

Tar and feathers would be too good for this guy.

It's a Cruel World.

Something That Really Matters

This is all in Japanese, and it's certainly not a big story. It's just a US Navy helicopter crew dropping off some food and water in Sendai, Japan, one of the areas hardest hit by the earthquake, tsunami and reactor problem. The roads to Sendai are blocked. The people there weren't expecting anyone or anything.

America and Americans take a lot crap for all the stuff we do that upset people. Sometimes it's justified, sometimes it isn't and sometimes reasonable people can differ. We're not perfect, but then again I don't remember ever claiming that we were. We're just a human as everyone else on this planet, and just as flawed.

Maybe our motives aren't always pure, but as Colin Powell once observed, all we ever asked for in return was a place to bury our dead. We could have conquered and annexed huge chunks of the world had we wanted to, but we never have.

There's never been a war or a disaster in the last 110 years - and probably longer than that - where there weren't groups of Americans, whether military or civilian, trying to do the right thing. Like in this video. A lot of Americans have died so that others might be free, or fed, or cared for.

That's a pretty noble thing. Profound really, because no other nation can make that claim. (Well, maybe Australia.)

And that is something we ought not ever forget.

For Those Hoping Tiger Had Changed.

Not Happening.

Words Escape Me.

Obama's America.

Guess that says it all.

Bil Kelso, Having Failed in the Brackets....

...attempts a new challenge.



Have to admire the spirit.

All I Need Is The Beard

Incredible

Never failed to get at least two teams into the Final Four before. This year? Zero teams in the Final Four.

Result: BEST YEAR EVER. Besides the other year I won.

I am officially George Costanza.

Which means I can still find a way to lose. Somehow.

Meanwhile, In the Forgotten and Vanquished Division

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 Connie Leggett 518 38 518 38 Kansas (89)
2 Phyllis Hodge 496 37 496 37 Kansas (178)
3 Alli Pressley 485 35 485 35 Duke (146)
4 Buddy Hamilton 479 36 479 36 North Carolina (156)
5 Mark King 438 33 438 33 Duke (140)
6 Jeff Hodge 432 33 432 33 Duke (160)
7 David Babb 428 33 428 33 Kansas (130)
8 LAnne Joseph 421 32 421 32 Notre Dame (132)
9 Andrew Pitts 356 26 356 26 Ohio St. (160)

Go Huskies!

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 greg erickson 568 40 568 40 Duke (122)
2 Jessie Hamilton 561 41 575 42 Kansas (150)
3 Zane Duncan 519 38 519 38 Duke (148)
4 Andrew Pitts 507 37 507 37 Duke (158)
5 Perry Griffin 506 37 506 37 Kansas (144)
6 Chuck Cruze 499 36 540 38 Connecticut (123)
7 Phyllis Hodge 496 37 496 37 Kansas (178)
8 Hallie Richards 495 37 495 37 Pittsburgh (162)
9 will akers 493 37 493 37 Ohio St. (147)
10 Greg Gilbert 475 36 475 36 Ohio St. (145)
11 Whitney McGowan 474 36 474 36 Ohio St. (156)
12 Sandy Richards 468 35 468 35 Ohio St. (157)
13 Jim McCollum 467 33 480 34 Pittsburgh (135)
14 Kristen Hicks 457 34 457 34 North Carolina (143)
15 Glenn Sharp 454 34 454 34 Ohio St. (117)
16 Nelson Swainson 449 34 449 34 North Carolina (155)
17 Melissa Cruze 447 34 447 34 Duke (114)
18 Steve Richards 446 34 446 34 Kansas (151)
19 Emily Sills 444 34 444 34 Ohio St. (131)
20 Daniel Kittrell 443 31 443 31 Ohio St. (154)
21 Alex Hodge 441 33 441 33 Duke (123)
22 John Bailes 440 32 440 32 Ohio St. (159)
23 david young 439 33 439 33 Ohio St. (152)
24 Tyler Morrow 436 33 436 33 Ohio St. (158)
25 Jeff Hodge 435 33 435 33 Ohio St. (160)
26 David Babb 428 33 428 33 Kansas (130)
27 Ben Alexander 424 33 424 33 Ohio St. (150)
28 Gina Swainson 423 33 466 35 Kentucky (162)
29 andrew hartung 422 32 422 32 Kansas (131)
30 Matthew McGowan 419 32 419 32 Duke (167)
31 Sam Erickson 418 31 418 31 Kansas (151)
32 Daniel Fox 415 31 415 31 Pittsburgh (159)
33 C Baxter 414 31 457 33 Kentucky (100)
34 Jenna Campbell 409 31 409 31 Pittsburgh (141)
35 Bill Kelso 385 28 385 28 Ohio St. (140)

At last we meet, Miss Hamilton. It all comes down to this: UK-UConn. Two schools with a history as steeped in tradition as they are NCAA violations.

And There Was Much Rejoicing

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 Greg Erickson 57 40 57 40 Ohio St. (120)
2 Jeremy Shoop 54 37 54 37 Ohio St. (126)
2 Jim McCollum 54 38 54 38 Ohio St. (135)
2 Kristen Hicks 54 38 54 38 Ohio St. (134)
2 Paul Burris 54 36 54 36 Pittsburgh (153)
6 Todd Bealer 53 34 53 34 North Carolina (190)
7 David Belcher 52 35 52 35 Ohio St. (146)
7 Laura Belcher 52 37 52 37 Duke (151)
7 larry brady 52 35 52 35 Kansas (130)
10 gabe beck 51 35 51 35 Kansas (150)
10 Kevin Mead 51 36 51 36 Duke (151)
10 Pat O'Connor 51 36 51 36 Kansas (143)
13 David Babb 50 33 50 33 Kansas (130)
13 jason brady 50 34 50 34 Kansas (152)
15 Laura Belcher 48 35 48 35 Ohio St. (162)
15 robby vincill 48 34 48 34 North Carolina (145)
17 Bette Brady 47 33 47 33 Ohio St. (136)
18 BJ Mack 46 32 46 32 North Carolina (118)
18 david young 46 33 46 33 Kansas (154)
18 Jonathan Hart 46 33 46 33 Kansas (160)
18 Rachel McCollum 46 33 46 33 Ohio St. (144)
18 shannon beck 46 32 46 32 Duke (145)
23 Andrew Pitts 45 34 45 34 Syracuse (159)
24 tom joseph 44 32 44 32 Ohio St. (169)
25 LAnne Joseph 43 33 43 33 Ohio St. (126)
25 Tom Joseph 43 32 43 32 Pittsburgh (130)
27 Bill Kelso 42 29 42 29 Ohio St. (140)

Computer Ads That Make No Sense

You know how they say that in advertising, sex sells?

I don't think that rule applies to computers.

Seriously?

70s Fashion was a Crime Against Humanity

I think the dude is holding the first laptop.

Don't Tell John. Please.

For the Kids

Jurassic iPhone.

Best of Sue Sylvester - Must See

Sue Sylvester Insult Montage

Because I care.

And In The "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up" Division

1 Connie Leggett 518 38 566 41 Kansas (89)
2 Phyllis Hodge 496 37 556 41 Kansas (178)
3 Alli Pressley 485 35 485 35 Duke (146)
4 Buddy Hamilton 479 36 564 42 North Carolina (156)
5 Mark King 438 33 438 33 Duke (140)
6 Jeff Hodge 432 33 432 33 Duke (160)
7 David Babb 428 33 488 37 Kansas (130)
8 LAnne Joseph 421 32 445 34 Notre Dame (132)
9 Andrew Pitts 356 26 356 26 Ohio St. (160)

Connie Leggett.

Every year, it's Connie Leggett.

I am not worthy.

I'll be falling back to Earth faster than Skylab.

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 Greg Erickson 57 40 70 43 Ohio St. (120)
2 Jeremy Shoop 54 37 54 37 Ohio St. (126)
2 Jim McCollum 54 38 54 38 Ohio St. (135)
2 Kristen Hicks 54 38 63 40 Ohio St. (134)
2 Paul Burris 54 36 54 36 Pittsburgh (153)
6 Todd Bealer 53 34 77 39 North Carolina (190)
7 David Belcher 52 35 61 37 Ohio St. (146)
7 Laura Belcher 52 37 56 38 Duke (151)
7 larry brady 52 35 71 39 Kansas (130)
10 gabe beck 51 35 66 38 Kansas (150)
10 Kevin Mead 51 36 51 36 Duke (151)
10 Pat O'Connor 51 36 66 39 Kansas (143)
13 David Babb 50 33 69 37 Kansas (130)
13 jason brady 50 34 74 39 Kansas (152)
15 Laura Belcher 48 35 48 35 Ohio St. (162)
15 robby vincill 48 34 76 40 North Carolina (145)
17 Bette Brady 47 33 56 35 Ohio St. (136)
18 BJ Mack 46 32 70 37 North Carolina (118)
18 david young 46 33 61 36 Kansas (154)
18 Jonathan Hart 46 33 61 36 Kansas (160)
18 Rachel McCollum 46 33 55 35 Ohio St. (144)
18 shannon beck 46 32 55 34 Duke (145)
23 Andrew Pitts 45 34 45 34 Syracuse (159)
24 tom joseph 44 32 44 32 Ohio St. (169)
25 LAnne Joseph 43 33 43 33 Ohio St. (126)
25 Tom Joseph 43 32 43 32 Pittsburgh (130)
27 Bill Kelso 42 29 46 30 Ohio St. (140)

Ironically, I must now root for Kentucy. Not. Sure. I. Can. Do. It.

Et tu, Buckeyes?

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 greg erickson 568 40 602 43 Duke (122)
2 Jessie Hamilton 547 40 623 45 Kansas (150)
3 Zane Duncan 519 38 553 41 Duke (148)
4 Andrew Pitts 507 37 553 41 Duke (158)
5 Perry Griffin 506 37 590 43 Kansas (144)
6 Phyllis Hodge 496 37 556 41 Kansas (178)
7 Chuck Cruze 486 35 574 41 Connecticut (123)
8 Hallie Richards 482 36 506 38 Pittsburgh (162)
9 will akers 480 36 515 39 Ohio St. (147)
10 Greg Gilbert 475 36 497 38 Ohio St. (145)
11 Whitney McGowan 474 36 496 38 Ohio St. (156)
12 Kristen Hicks 457 34 519 38 North Carolina (143)
13 Sandy Richards 455 34 490 37 Ohio St. (157)
14 Glenn Sharp 454 34 476 36 Ohio St. (117)
14 Jim McCollum 454 32 491 35 Pittsburgh (135)
16 Nelson Swainson 449 34 524 39 North Carolina (155)
17 Steve Richards 446 34 494 37 Kansas (151)
18 Emily Sills 444 34 466 36 Ohio St. (131)
19 Alex Hodge 441 33 441 33 Duke (123)
20 John Bailes 440 32 440 32 Ohio St. (159)
21 david young 439 33 463 35 Ohio St. (152)
22 Jeff Hodge 435 33 435 33 Ohio St. (160)
23 Melissa Cruze 433 33 482 37 Duke (114)
24 Daniel Kittrell 430 30 443 31 Ohio St. (154)
25 David Babb 428 33 488 37 Kansas (130)
26 Tyler Morrow 423 32 458 35 Ohio St. (158)
27 andrew hartung 422 32 470 35 Kansas (131)
28 Matthew McGowan 419 32 453 35 Duke (167)
29 Sam Erickson 418 31 466 34 Kansas (151)
30 Ben Alexander 411 32 424 33 Ohio St. (150)
31 Gina Swainson 409 32 500 38 Kentucky (162)
31 Jenna Campbell 409 31 409 31 Pittsburgh (141)
33 Daniel Fox 402 30 415 31 Pittsburgh (159)
34 C Baxter 400 30 469 34 Kentucky (100)
35 Bill Kelso 385 28 397 29 Ohio St. (140)

Still on top, but not for long.

I have always hated Kentucky. If Only Kansas would somehow lose to VCU. But that ain't gonna happen.

At last - the sweet smell of garlic that won't cost you your friends

By DAILY MAIL REPORTER

Black garlic - a sweet variety of the popular cooking ingredient that doesn't leave you with bad breath - is getting ready to hit the UK supermarket shelves.

The unusual looking bulb will appear in Tesco stores from May, and other leading supermarket groups are expected to follow suit.

And while it promises cooks all the normal, pungent flavouring, along with the health benefits enjoyed by the traditional cream coloured clove, this one won't cost you your friends.

It remains unclear, however, as to what impact this garlic will have on Edward Cullen.

True Story

Kelly: I got in trouble once for saying "dad gummit" when I was little.

Daniel: Were you home schooled, too?

And I am not making this up.

And in the Didn't Sign the Engagement Letter

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 Connie Leggett 495 36 599 44 Kansas (89)
2 Alli Pressley 485 35 496 36 Duke (146)
3 Phyllis Hodge 473 35 567 42 Kansas (178)
4 Buddy Hamilton 456 34 575 43 North Carolina (156)
5 Mark King 438 33 460 35 Duke (140)
6 Jeff Hodge 420 32 454 35 Duke (160)
7 David Babb 405 31 521 40 Kansas (130)
8 LAnne Joseph 395 30 445 34 Notre Dame (132)
9 Andrew Pitts 344 25 415 30 Ohio St. (160)

*&^%!

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 greg erickson 545 38 624 45 Duke (122)
2 Jessie Hamilton 522 38 623 45 Kansas (150)
3 Zane Duncan 496 36 575 43 Duke (148)
4 Perry Griffin 483 35 601 44 Kansas (144)
5 Chuck Cruze 475 34 596 43 Connecticut (123)
6 Phyllis Hodge 473 35 567 42 Kansas (178)
7 Andrew Pitts 470 34 553 41 Duke (158)
8 Hallie Richards 459 34 539 41 Pittsburgh (162)
9 will akers 457 34 574 43 Ohio St. (147)
10 Greg Gilbert 452 34 556 42 Ohio St. (145)
11 Whitney McGowan 451 34 555 42 Ohio St. (156)
12 Glenn Sharp 443 33 535 40 Ohio St. (117)
12 Jim McCollum 443 31 502 36 Pittsburgh (135)
14 Kristen Hicks 434 32 530 39 North Carolina (143)
15 Emily Sills 433 33 525 40 Ohio St. (131)
16 Sandy Richards 432 32 549 41 Ohio St. (157)
17 Alex Hodge 429 32 463 35 Duke (123)
17 John Bailes 429 31 499 36 Ohio St. (159)
19 Jeff Hodge 423 32 494 37 Ohio St. (160)
19 Nelson Swainson 423 32 524 39 North Carolina (155)
19 Steve Richards 423 32 527 40 Kansas (151)
22 Daniel Kittrell 418 29 502 35 Ohio St. (154)
23 david young 416 31 522 39 Ohio St. (152)
24 Tyler Morrow 412 31 517 39 Ohio St. (158)
25 Sam Erickson 407 30 499 37 Kansas (151)
26 David Babb 405 31 521 40 Kansas (130)
27 andrew hartung 399 30 503 38 Kansas (131)
28 Matthew McGowan 396 30 464 36 Duke (167)
28 Melissa Cruze 396 30 482 37 Duke (114)
30 Daniel Fox 391 29 448 34 Pittsburgh (159)
31 Ben Alexander 388 30 483 37 Ohio St. (150)
32 Jenna Campbell 384 29 409 31 Pittsburgh (141)
33 C Baxter 374 28 469 34 Kentucky (100)
34 Bill Kelso 373 27 456 33 Ohio St. (140)
35 Gina Swainson 372 29 500 38 Kentucky (162)

Now I must pray that Kansas and UConn get beat. Damn you, Chuck Cruze. I had a bad feeling about your pick on day one. You've got that Melissa Mojo going for you.

First the Good News

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 Greg Erickson 54 39 88 47 Ohio St. (120)
2 DavidLaura Bel 49 36 63 40 Duke (151)
3 Jeremy Shoop 48 35 72 41 Ohio St. (126)
3 Jim McCollum 48 36 72 42 Ohio St. (135)
3 Kevin Mead 48 35 58 38 Duke (151)
3 Kristen Hicks 48 36 81 44 Ohio St. (134)
3 Paul Burris 48 34 66 39 Pittsburgh (153)
8 David Belcher 46 33 79 41 Ohio St. (146)
8 larry brady 46 33 83 42 Kansas (130)
10 gabe beck 45 33 78 41 Kansas (150)
10 Laura Belcher 45 34 66 39 Ohio St. (162)
10 Pat O'Connor 45 34 78 42 Kansas (143)
13 David Babb 44 31 81 40 Kansas (130)
13 Todd Bealer 44 31 77 39 North Carolina (190)
15 david young 43 32 64 37 Kansas (154)
15 Jonathan Hart 43 32 64 37 Kansas (160)
17 Andrew Pitts 42 33 48 35 Syracuse (159)
17 Bill Kelso 42 29 64 34 Ohio St. (140)
17 robby vincill 42 32 79 41 North Carolina (145)
20 Bette Brady 41 31 74 39 Ohio St. (136)
20 jason brady 41 31 74 39 Kansas (152)
20 tom joseph 41 31 62 36 Ohio St. (169)
23 BJ Mack 40 30 73 38 North Carolina (118)
23 LAnne Joseph 40 32 61 37 Ohio St. (126)
23 Rachel McCollum 40 31 73 39 Ohio St. (144)
23 shannon beck 40 30 62 36 Duke (145)
23 Tom Joseph 40 31 55 35 Pittsburgh (130)

Only One Explanation for This

Okay, maybe two.

1. He's married to this chick, and that's just the way they talk.



2. His Final Four bracket was Pittsburgh, Tennessee, Michigan State and Syracuse.

Token Large Shark Video

Thought on Libya

The Libyans want a new new Muslim leader.

Solution: Give them ours!

Talk about a win-win solution.

America's Debt Problem Solved.

Call Judge Wood back.

Tell her to award the $75 Trillion in damages.

Apply tax at 35%.

Revenue raised?

About $26 Trillion.

Pay off debt.

Use excess to buy China. That way we can lend the money back to ourselves if we get in trouble again.

Cause you know we will.

You are welcome.

Why Would You Need These Items?

• Disposable gloves
• Flashlight
• Duct tape or other sticky tape
• 2 index cards or stiff pieces of paper
• Zip-lock bags
• Damp paper towels or rags
• Portable window fan

a. The nuclear reactor down the street is melting down?
b. Anthrax scare at the office?
c. You just broke a compact fluorescent bulb?

The answer is C. Which also stands for Congress, who has made sure that we all have to buy CFLs in order to save the world from Al Gore or something.

I think we should make them clean it up.

Have I Mentioned That I Really, Really Don't Like Lawyers?

This is from the annals of two stupid to be true - but it is!

The record industry sued Limewire - the free music download site - and they won. Now the question is damages. The record companies, being smart guys, decided to ask for $75 Trillion. That's right - $75 Trillion.

Does $75 trillion even exist? The thirteen record companies that are suing file-sharing company Lime Wire for copyright infringement certainly thought so. When they won a summary judgment ruling last May they demanded damages that could reach this mind-boggling amount, which is more than five times the national debt.

Manhattan federal district court judge Kimba Wood, however, saw things differently. She labeled the record companies' damages request "absurd" and contrary to copyright laws in a 14-page opinion.

Absurd? Well,yes. But merely because they asked for that much I'd be inclined to reward them - with total damages of $1. As Judge Wood pointed out,"plaintiffs are suggesting an award that is 'more money than the entire music recording industry has made since Edison's invention of the phonograph in 1877.'"

Glenn Pomerantz of Munger, Tolles & Olson, who represented 13 record company plaintiffs, did not return requests for comment.

Because he's a jerk.

Willson Akers Update

Will is feeling a bit chuffed (as they say in Australia) after he rose to number 9 in the standings after yesterday's games.

A closer look suggests that the adventurous, easy going Akers - an avid Back Street Boys fan - took a curious approach to his bracket. It appears that Will picked a grand total of six upsets in his entire bracket. EVERYTHING ELSE WAS THE CHALK PICK (i.e., he picked the higher seeded team.)

Thus, with the exception of St. John's Will's Sweet Sixteen is nothing but 1-4 seeds. His Elite Eight are all 1 seeds v. 2 seeds except for Purdue (which did not even make the Sweet Sixteen) - and even there it's not like he went out on a limb - Purdue was a 3 seed.

The irony is that Will's upset picks were ALL WRONG!

There's a record that may stand until next year.

Will's new nickname?

Mr. Vegas.

Or maybe Lance.

That's Just Mean

A rush on salt began in coastal cities in China on March 16. As of March 18, the trend has spread to many provinces in China, including regions that are not on the eastern seaboard. Soy sauce has also been sought after as a salt replacement. Many people think that the ocean is being contaminated due to the nuclear crisis in Japan, and that it is only a matter of time before salt becomes hazardous.

Mr. Li from Shaanxi Province told The Epoch Times that he didn't hear about the salt rush until March 17. Everyone was rushing to buy salt. He said his friends had called and said that salt prices in Baoji City had surged 1,000 percent, and were still going up.

Li thinks that's an indicator that people don't trust the government. “Now everyone is getting information from the Internet, and is worried about his or her own safety,” he said. “The nuclear reactor problems in Japan will surely have an effect on China. It's only a matter of time.”

Cha Wenjun, a resident of Shanghai, said that the rush had a lot to do with the news on television in China. “There are rumors that the seawater is polluted, and that salt will not be safe to eat. [State-run] television stations are saying that this will not affect China,” she said.

“However, the people have lost all trust in the government. Every time the government emphasizes something, it's usually the opposite of the truth. Since the 16th, salt has been sold out. Even soy sauce has been sold out.”

Ms. Wenjun couldn't find salt in several major grocery stores in Shanghai, and friends in Beijing told her that salt was sold out there as well.

"The Shanghai government stated that there is abundant salt supply in storage, and said that there is no need to stock up on salt," she said.

“During the incidents involving contaminated milk powder, pork, rice wine, and salted duck eggs, the government all said that they were safe, yet they were not, and these problems still persist today.”

Another online commentator said that the recent rush on salt showed that the public had a deep distrust in the social order, and lacked a sense of security. He said that people could only feel safe when they had resources, even as simple as cans of salt, in their own hands.

Everyone knows that it is bad form to Kikkoman when he's down.

Now We Know Why He Can't Drive 55

LOS ANGELES, March 21 (Reuters) - No doubt Sammy Hagar, a
former lead singer for Van Halen, has enjoyed a lot of far out
experiences in life, but on Monday, the rocker told perhaps his
farthest out tale to MTV. He was abducted by aliens.

Or, at least, his brain was.

In an interview for his new book, ``Red: My Uncensored Life
in Rock'' at mtvhive.com, Hagar lets go of what even he admits
might make him ``sound like a crazy person'' to some readers.

He and the reporter are talking about dreams he claims to
have had about UFOs, and when asked whether he believed he had
been abducted, Hagar answers: ``I think I have.''

The reporter seemed surprised. ``What? Really? I was kidding.
You seriously believe that?'' he asks.

Hagar laughs and goes on to explain that a passage in the
book described as a dream in which he is contacted by aliens
from outer space in California was, in fact, reality.

The tale describes how the beings tapped into his mind
through a wireless connection.

Another one of the mysteries of the Universe solved.

The Wonders of Technology

PYONGYANG, North Korea - North Korea advised its citizens Sunday to use their pets as an early-warning system for earthquakes, amid heightened fears following Japan's quake and tsunami disaster.

WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? I COULD HAVE MADE MILLIONS BILLIONS!

The North Korean government also announced that it is working on a revolutionary new technology which they are calling "running water."

Somehow I expect that when Kim Jung-Il dies we will learn that he was the inventor of the Flow-Bee as well. Talk about an Evil Genius!

Dude needs to Flow Bee his mustache.

HBO Developing Dick Cheney Miniseries

Seriously! I am not making this up!

Starring Charlie Sheen.

Okay, I am making that up.

There's an App for THAT?

The "gay cure" application, designed to be used on Apple's hand-held devices, was created by and named after Exodus International, a religious organisation which believes in teaching "freedom from homosexuality through prayer and practicing conversion therapy".

The app is offered free on Apple's iTunes online shop and was given a "4+" rating by the company, meaning it is not considered to contain objectionable content.

A description of the app on the online shop said: "With over 35 years of ministry experience, Exodus is committed to encouraging, educating and equipping the Body of Christ to address the issue of homosexuality with grace and truth."

Gay activists quickly gathered more than 37,000 signatures for an online petition persuading Apple to drop the software.

Somebody needs to get a life.

On the Political Front

Not only was the Sweet Sixteen set this weekend, we also learned that:

US Democratic House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi was hospitalised on Monday after feeling unwell during a visit to Rome, Italian news agencies said.

Pelosi, in Italy to celebrate the 150th anniversary of the Italian nation, was scheduled to meet with Defence Minister Ignazio La Russa and Gianfranco Fini, head of the lower house of parliament, when she felt "slightly unwell."

The Italian-American democrat was forced to cancel her meeting with La Russa and postpone the one with Fini. She is undergoing tests in Rome's Umberto I hospital, the agencies said.

The American Embassy refused to comment.

Two thoughts.

"Slightly unwell" is how I feel every time I see a picture of Nancy Pelosi.

I'll bet you anything she had Pitt, Syracuse and Notre Dame in her Final Four.

Finally, In the High Stakes Division

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 Greg Erickson 48 37 95 49 Ohio St. (120)
2 DavidLaura Bel 46 35 84 45 Duke (151)
3 Jeremy Shoop 45 34 89 46 Ohio St. (126)
3 Jim McCollum 45 35 82 45 Ohio St. (135)
5 David Belcher 43 32 89 44 Ohio St. (146)
5 larry brady 43 32 96 46 Kansas (130)
7 gabe beck 42 32 88 44 Kansas (150)
7 Kevin Mead 42 33 76 42 Duke (151)
7 Kristen Hicks 42 34 88 46 Ohio St. (134)
7 Laura Belcher 42 33 76 42 Ohio St. (162)
7 Pat O'Connor 42 33 92 46 Kansas (143)
7 Paul Burris 42 32 73 41 Pittsburgh (153)
13 david young 40 31 79 41 Kansas (154)
13 Jonathan Hart 40 31 79 41 Kansas (160)
13 Leigh Anne Joseph 40 32 71 40 Ohio St. (126)
13 Rachel McCollum 40 31 90 44 Ohio St. (144)
17 Andrew Pitts 39 32 55 37 Syracuse (159)
18 Bette Brady 38 30 84 42 Ohio St. (136)
18 David Babb 38 29 88 42 Kansas (130)
18 jason brady 38 30 81 41 Kansas (152)
18 Todd Bealer 38 29 84 41 North Carolina (190)
18 tom joseph 38 30 72 39 Ohio St. (169)
23 BJ Mack 37 29 80 40 North Carolina (118)
23 shannon beck 37 29 87 42 Duke (145)
23 Tom Joseph 37 30 62 37 Pittsburgh (130)
26 Bill Kelso 36 27 74 37 Ohio St. (140)
26 robby vincill 36 30 86 43 North Carolina (145)

Both Syracuse and Washington boned me yesterday, as did Purdue and Notre Dame. This gives my bracket an aesthetically pleasing symmetry, although in practical terms it just sucks.

The confused "DavidLaura Belcher" is nipping at my heels, and with the strong pick of Florida BYU in the Sweet Sixteen and, even bolder - a BYU win - is poised to bite me. Which just goes to show that you should never pick against a Mormon named Jimmer.

Meanwhile, in the Barack Obama Division

1 Connie Leggett 482 35 634 47 Kansas (89)
2 Alli Pressley 472 34 555 40 Duke (146)
3 Phyllis Hodge 460 34 613 46 Kansas (178)
4 Buddy Hamilton 444 33 623 47 North Carolina (156)
5 Jeff Hodge 420 32 538 41 Duke (160)
6 Mark King 413 31 519 39 Duke (140)
7 LAnne Joseph 383 29 490 38 Notre Dame (132)
8 David Babb 380 29 543 42 Kansas (130)
9 Andrew Pitts 344 25 426 31 Ohio St. (160)

Leigh Anne Joseph, we reject your challenge.

You are no challenge.

In other news, Mark King (also prone to say "You Go Girl" to himself) writes to point out that he is beating both Greg Gilbert and John Bailes. Which is interesting, because Gilbert is actually beating him on both correct picks and total points. Thank goodness he is not in a profession that relies on basic math skills.

Jill Green writes: !!!!!!!

Two Rounds Down, Three To Go

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 greg erickson 520 36 683 49 Duke (122)
2 Jessie Hamilton 497 36 645 47 Kansas (150)
3 Zane Duncan 471 34 634 47 Duke (148)
4 Phyllis Hodge 460 34 613 46 Kansas (178)
5 Perry Griffin 458 33 623 46 Kansas (144)
6 Chuck Cruze 450 32 607 44 Connecticut (123)
7 Hallie Richards 446 33 563 43 Pittsburgh (162)
8 Andrew Pitts 445 32 612 45 Duke (158)
9 will akers 432 32 585 44 Ohio St. (147)
10 Greg Gilbert 427 32 578 44 Ohio St. (145)
11 Whitney McGowan 426 32 577 44 Ohio St. (156)
12 Jeff Hodge 423 32 541 41 Ohio St. (160)
13 Kristen Hicks 421 31 543 40 North Carolina (143)
14 Glenn Sharp 418 31 557 42 Ohio St. (117)
14 Jim McCollum 418 29 513 37 Pittsburgh (135)
16 John Bailes 417 30 533 39 Ohio St. (159)
17 Alex Hodge 416 31 548 41 Duke (123)
18 Steve Richards 410 31 562 43 Kansas (151)
19 Emily Sills 408 31 547 42 Ohio St. (131)
20 Sam Erickson 407 30 547 41 Kansas (151)
20 Sandy Richards 407 30 560 42 Ohio St. (157)
22 Daniel Kittrell 405 28 502 35 Ohio St. (154)
23 david young 404 30 556 42 Ohio St. (152)
24 Tyler Morrow 399 30 528 40 Ohio St. (158)
25 Nelson Swainson 398 30 546 41 North Carolina (155)
26 Jenna Campbell 384 29 467 36 Pittsburgh (141)
27 David Babb 380 29 543 42 Kansas (130)
28 Daniel Fox 378 28 448 34 Pittsburgh (159)
29 andrew hartung 374 28 525 40 Kansas (131)
30 Matthew McGowan 371 28 523 40 Duke (167)
30 Melissa Cruze 371 28 541 41 Duke (114)
32 Ben Alexander 363 28 494 38 Ohio St. (150)
33 C Baxter 362 27 503 37 Kentucky (100)
34 Bill Kelso 361 26 478 35 Ohio St. (140)
35 Gina Swainson 347 27 536 41 Kentucky (162)

Matt McGowan continues to get thrashed by his wfie, Whitney.

Betsy told me I can't say it anymore (especially to myself), but "You Go Girl!"

Rookie Zane Duncan posts a strong third place showing after two rounds. When reached for comment Hallie Richards told him to shut up.

Now 8,477th Nationally!

Rank Team Name Round Score Overall Score
1 GETBUSY 28 56
2 final four 28 54
2 Go Heels 26 54
2 jimmyd 26 54
2 john sweeney 26 54
2 LeePaulson 26 54
2 MaggiePaul 26 54
2 Palmore3 28 54
2 sirlance32 26 54
2 ustruck20 28 54
11 BOTTLE ROCKET 26 53
11 carter220 26 53
11 chris ballard 24 53
11 Denise Yogi 24 53
11 Don Biere 24 53
11 Doug's Practically Random Picks 26 53
11 dwarfbracket 26 53
11 Greg Beronja 24 53
11 HardKor picks 26 53
11 Hopeful One 28 53

8477 GREG ERICKSON 22 47

And that is with my original bracket. These other guys all make new brackets each round.

Public Service - Atomic Edition

Now I have no idea what this chart actually means, but like most charts it looks both very reliable and confusing.

I'd prefer a chart that used the Rock-Paper-Scissors method to tell me when I am in trouble. Then again, I never understood why a rock covering paper was a winning move.

And the Divisions Are United (Albeit Briefly)

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 greg erickson 483 33 734 53 Duke (122)
2 Jessie Hamilton 460 33 695 51 Kansas (150)
3 Connie Leggett 460 33 699 52 Kansas (89)
4 Alli Pressley 450 32 669 49 Duke (146)
5 Phyllis Hodge 438 32 678 51 Kansas (178)
6 Phyllis Hodge 438 32 678 51 Kansas (178)
7 Hallie Richards 424 31 614 47 Pittsburgh (162)
8 Andrew Pitts 423 30 676 50 Duke (158)
9 Buddy Hamilton 422 31 687 52 North Carolina (156)
10 Perry Griffin 415 30 661 49 Kansas (144)
11 Chuck Cruze 413 29 671 49 Connecticut (123)
12 Zane Duncan 413 30 658 49 Duke (148)
13 Whitney McGowan 404 30 641 49 Ohio St. (156)
14 Kristen Hicks 399 29 609 45 North Carolina (143)
15 Glenn Sharp 396 29 634 48 Ohio St. (117)
16 will akers 395 29 636 48 Ohio St. (147)
17 Alex Hodge 394 29 599 45 Duke (123)
18 Mark King 391 29 583 44 Duke (140)
19 Greg Gilbert 390 29 615 47 Ohio St. (145)
20 Steve Richards 388 29 626 48 Kansas (151)
21 Emily Sills 386 29 624 48 Ohio St. (131)
22 Jeff Hodge 386 29 591 45 Ohio St. (160)
23 Sandy Richards 385 28 624 47 Ohio St. (157)
24 Jeff Hodge 383 29 588 45 Duke (160)
25 Jim McCollum 381 26 576 42 Pittsburgh (135)
26 John Bailes 380 27 608 45 Ohio St. (159)
27 Sam Erickson 370 27 610 46 Kansas (151)
28 david young 367 27 618 47 Ohio St. (152)
29 Daniel Kittrell 362 25 563 40 Ohio St. (154)
30 Jenna Campbell 362 27 556 43 Pittsburgh (141)
31 Tyler Morrow 362 27 591 45 Ohio St. (158)
32 Nelson Swainson 361 27 583 44 North Carolina (155)
33 LAnne Joseph 361 27 578 44 Notre Dame (132)
34 Daniel Fox 356 26 551 42 Pittsburgh (159)
35 andrew hartung 352 26 576 44 Kansas (131)
36 Matthew McGowan 349 26 574 44 Duke (167)
37 Melissa Cruze 349 26 606 46 Duke (114)
38 David Babb 343 26 580 45 Kansas (130)
39 David Babb 343 26 580 45 Kansas (130)
40 Ben Alexander 341 26 557 43 Ohio St. (150)
41 Gina Swainson 325 25 575 44 Kentucky (162)
42 C Baxter 320 24 555 41 Kentucky (100)
43 Bill Kelso 318 23 529 39 Ohio St. (140)
44 Andrew Pitts 307 22 487 36 Ohio St. (160)

I think I speak for everyone when I extend my thanks to Jessica "Jessie" Hamilton for being thoughtful enough to include the "Jessie" - you know, so we wouldn't confuse her with the other Jessie Hamiltons in the pool.

Phyllis, Andrew Pitts and David Babb have multiple personality disorder.

Which explains a lot.

Andrew is apparently more indecisive than Obama, posting two very different brackets. But I think we can all rest easy as his odds of winning are less than those of Bruce Pearl coaching Tennessee next year.

Jill Green writes:

I laughed out loud!!!!!

Dissed, even while out for Spring Break!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS – even though I did not get my bracket in, please include me (unlike Stacy, as you well know) in the bracket updates. The entertainment value is priceless: )!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Priceless? Uh, better check your VISA statement, Jill.

Personally, I am inclined to let her play in the Rain Man Division.

Res Ipsa Loquitor

Do They have a Giant Foam Hand for This?

I am number 19,027 in the whole country.! I feel kind of bad about losing to a guy who spells "bracket" as "breacket" though.


Rank Team Name Round Score Overall Score
1 mittenz123 14 44
2 bangbang5590 14 43
2 cbosho 14 43
2 Dave Davenport 14 43
2 Doug's Picks 16 43
2 duceypop 16 43
2 dwarfbracket 16 43
2 GavinPSnyder 14 43
2 jakehicks 14 43
2 Jwik3540 14 43
2 kathleen kelly 14 43
2 Kyle Young, R 14 43
2 mc moan 14 43
2 Mikes Breacket 16 43
2 MJT 14 43
2 Party on Mass 14 43
2 RYAN AUTEN 16 43
2 Winning Bitches 14 43
2 Wonder Dogs 16 43
20 1st thoughs 16 42

19027 GREG ERICKSON 12 37

So It's All an Illusion?

Mark Brumbelow Interview

Today our interview is with a person who is an eminent scholar, musician and golfer as well as the ruler of the Roman Empire in a past life, Mark Brumbelow.

Our Correspondent: Good Morning Sir.
MB: Yes, Good Morning.

Correspondent: Mark please tell our readers more about yourself.

MB: OK. I like pina coladas. And getting caught in the rain. I am not into yoga. I AM into champagne.Okay, not really. I just like the meter of those lines.

Correspondent: Which is the happiest moment in your life?
MB: Te day I left Madison, Wisconsin. Either that or when Kelly Clarkson won American Idol.

Correspondent: Which is the saddest moment in your bracket?
MB: Morehead State over Louisville. No question.

Correspondent: What do you think which is your favorite quote?
MB: "I came, I saw, I conquered." I really like that one.

Correspondent: What is your first career?
MB: I started out with Dave Letterman as a member of Paul Shafer's Band. But I gave that up for a chance to compete on Wheel of Fortune. I had a shot to win a million bucks when the idiot next to me tried to buy a vowel when all the vowels were still on the board. I started laughing so hard I scared Vanna White. They cut to commercial and the next thing next you know I'm taking the CPA exam. Damn you Vanna White!

Correspondent: Guess that must have been hard?
MB: What the CPA Exam? Naw...piece of cake. What was really hard was not getting to shake Pat Sajak's hand. Still have no gotten over that.


Correspondent: There is a rumor that you are having an affair with Cleopatra VII, is it true?
Caesar: I am not going to answer this one. Don't ask too much of personal question. Proceed to your next question.

Correspondent: Sorry.

Correspondent: What do you think your greatest achievement in life?
MB: I was a studio musician for Michael Jackson on his Thriller album.

Correspondent: Really?

MB: No. Gotcha, didn't I? [Brumbelow laughs massively; walls shake]

Correspondent: You haven't been to Japan recently, have you?

In High Stakes I Am Even More Awesome

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 Greg Erickson 40 33 109 55 Ohio St. (120)
2 Jim McCollum 37 31 95 50 Ohio St. (135)
3 Laura Belcher 36 30 96 50 Duke (151)
4 Jeremy Shoop 35 29 107 52 Ohio St. (126)
5 gabe beck 34 28 99 49 Kansas (150)
5 Kevin Mead 34 29 87 46 Duke (151)
5 Kristen Hicks 34 30 90 47 Ohio St. (134)
5 Laura Belcher 34 29 99 50 Ohio St. (162)
5 Paul Burris 34 28 86 46 Pittsburgh (153)
10 Andrew Pitts 33 29 88 47 Syracuse (159)
10 David Belcher 33 27 98 48 Ohio St. (146)
10 larry brady 33 27 105 50 Kansas (130)
13 david young 32 27 97 48 Kansas (154)
13 Jonathan Hart 32 27 97 48 Kansas (160)
13 LAnne Joseph 32 28 87 46 Ohio St. (126)
13 Pat O'Connor 32 28 99 49 Kansas (143)
17 Bette Brady 30 26 95 47 Ohio St. (136)
17 jason brady 30 26 95 47 Kansas (152)
17 Rachel McCollum 30 26 94 46 Ohio St. (144)
17 Todd Bealer 30 25 90 44 North Carolina (190)
21 Beverly Mack 29 25 95 46 North Carolina (118)
21 shannon beck 29 25 96 46 Duke (145)
23 David Babb 28 24 95 45 Kansas (130)
23 robby vincill 28 26 97 48 North Carolina (145)
23 tom joseph 28 25 81 43 Ohio St. (169)
26 Tom Joseph 27 25 73 41 Pittsburgh (130)
27 Bill Kelso 26 22 95 44 Ohio St. (140)

Secure in the knowledge that I will find a way to lose no matter what, I believe it's time for a beer.

Meanwhile, In the Helen Keller Division

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 Connie Leggett 437 31 699 52 Kansas (89)
2 Alli Pressley 427 30 669 49 Duke (146)
3 Phyllis Hodge 415 30 678 51 Kansas (178)
4 Buddy Hamilton 399 29 687 52 North Carolina (156)
5 Mark King 368 27 583 44 Duke (140)
6 Jeff Hodge 360 27 588 45 Duke (160)
7 LA Joseph 338 25 578 44 Notre Dame (132)
8 David Babb 320 24 580 45 Kansas (130)
9 Andrew Pitts 284 20 487 36 Ohio St. (160)

Life would be a lot easier if you guys had all picked Pittsburgh.

Phyllis: I picked Kansas. Who did you pick?
Jeff: Duke.
Phyllis: You know I hate Duke, right?
Jeff: Since when?
Phyllis: Since you picked them.

Only Nineteen Games Remain

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 greg erickson 460 31 734 53 Duke (122)
2 Jessie Hamilton 437 31 695 51 Kansas (150)
3 Phyllis Hodge 415 30 678 51 Kansas (178)
4 Hallie Richards 401 29 614 47 Pittsburgh (162)
5 Andrew Pitts 400 28 676 50 Duke (158)
6 Perry Griffin 392 28 661 49 Kansas (144)
7 Chuck Cruze 390 27 671 49 Connecticut (123)
7 Zane Duncan 390 28 658 49 Duke (148)
9 Kristen Hicks 387 28 609 45 North Carolina (143)
10 Whitney McGowan 381 28 641 49 Ohio St. (156)
11 Glenn Sharp 373 27 634 48 Ohio St. (117)
12 will akers 372 27 636 48 Ohio St. (147)
13 Alex Hodge 371 27 599 45 Duke (123)
14 Greg Gilbert 367 27 615 47 Ohio St. (145)
15 Steve Richards 365 27 626 48 Kansas (151)
16 Emily Sills 363 27 624 48 Ohio St. (131)
16 Jeff Hodge 363 27 591 45 Ohio St. (160)
18 Sandy Richards 362 26 624 47 Ohio St. (157)
19 Jim McCollum 358 24 576 42 Pittsburgh (135)
20 John Bailes 357 25 608 45 Ohio St. (159)
21 Daniel Kittrell 350 24 563 40 Ohio St. (154)
22 Sam Erickson 347 25 610 46 Kansas (151)
23 Daniel Fox 344 25 551 42 Pittsburgh (159)
23 david young 344 25 618 47 Ohio St. (152)
25 Jenna Campbell 339 25 556 43 Pittsburgh (141)
25 Tyler Morrow 339 25 591 45 Ohio St. (158)
27 Nelson Swainson 338 25 583 44 North Carolina (155)
28 andrew hartung 329 24 576 44 Kansas (131)
29 Matthew McGowan 326 24 574 44 Duke (167)
29 Melissa Cruze 326 24 606 46 Duke (114)
31 David Babb 320 24 580 45 Kansas (130)
32 Ben Alexander 318 24 557 43 Ohio St. (150)
33 Gina Swainson 302 23 575 44 Kentucky (162)
34 C Baxter 297 22 555 41 Kentucky (100)
35 Bill Kelso 295 21 529 39 Ohio St. (140)

Those who picked Pittsburgh - WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? They lost to Tennessee! No way they could win the title.

A Mystery Bigger Than the Crappy Ending of LOST

How in the hell do you find that many people who know the whole Lord of the Dance routine together at the same time?

I think my friend Graeme is in the front row. The Aussie-looking guy in shorts and a tie.

A Moment of Silence, Please.

We've lost Cheryl Baxter's bracket.

I know, it was awfully young.

A real tragedy.

She'll be receiving friends next Saturday. Details to follow.

Public Service

I am always surprised at how many people have not seen (or even heard of) so many really good - arguably even classic - films.

Because I am a caring guy, here's a compilation of the key scene from 71 great films. Now you can claim you've seen them. Sure, it might spoil it for you when you finally do see the film, but then again we both know that will never happen.

Because there are no Twilight scenes in here.

How many can you name?

WARNING: A little violent in parts, but no worse than the murderous rage tax season sometimes engenders.

It will make me feel a little better. Just do it. There will be a quiz.

Brumbleduck?

Future Accountant?

Where It All Began

Some people ask me where my affinity for the NCAA Basketball Tournament began.

March 17, 1973.

Providence, led by Ernie DiGregorio, upset Maryland, led by Len Elmore and Tom McMillan, 103-89, in the East Regional Finals. Back then it was only a 24 team tournament and "March Madness" was just "March Slightly Craziness." DiGregorio, a short, slow, goofy-looking white kid (my hero at the time) was a remarkable basketball player and a true pure shooter, scored 32 despite being in foul trouble the whole game.

He fouled out with 5 charging fouls. Maryland's whole strategy was to bait him into driving and then flop when he made contact to try and draw the foul. It didn't work well, because most of the time he just scored and no foul was called. But it only had to work five times, and it did.

But Maryland still lost. Providence's real star that day was Marvin "Bad News" Barnes, arguably the original Dennis Rodman, who had beaten a man with a tire iron and been arrested multiple times for burglary and assault - not to mention multiple drug charges. Amazing, none of this impacted his eligibility at Providence. (Obviously he could have gone to Ohio State as well.)

I watched the game with my Dad while we hung tongue in grove pine paneling and finished the basement like a couple of pros. Well, I basically just handed dad nails and got him beers, but still. After the game we laid red shag carpeting squares. (It was the 1970s, damn it!) And at the end of the day we were really proud of ourselves and had our first beer together.

Okay, I was only twelve, so I didn't really have that beer. But it's a better memory if I did.

Miss you, Dad.

A Good Memory

Once, during a tax season many years ago when my boys were still very small, I came home after an especially tough day and pulled into the garage.

The boys were at the door to the garage and literally squealed with excitement when I opened the door to my car.

They ran over and gave me a big hug for no apparent reason other than the fact that they were happy to see me.

Sam said to me, "Dad, you are the best of life."

And a small tear formed in my eye. It still does whenever I think of that moment.

Jake Gyllenhall

I don't think there is a good Jake Gyllenhall movie. I watched Jarhead this morning. I mean, Donnie Darko was kind of interesting - if you are into scary rabbit masks and stupid LOST endings and all that - but the rest of his stuff is always angsty left wing garbage.

I think we should send him to Libya and see what happens. If he stops the violence there maybe I will give him another chance. But the odds are good there won't be anymore Jake Gyllenhall movies if he goes to Libya.

So it's really kind of a win-win.

Odd

I was walking down the hall a few minutes ago and I passed John Bailes and he was singing " Aye-Aye-Ya-Aye, I am the Frito Bandito."*

I did a double-take as we passed, and I'll swear that just for a second he was wearing a poncho and a sombrero.

* No one under 30 has a clue what this means.

In Which I Taunt My Son

This is the first year in the brackets for my oldest son, Sam. He knows my eye sight is pretty damn poor, which may explain why I cannot see where he is in the standings.

Oh, there he is.

Wow. Belmont? Really? Have I taught you nothing, my young padawan?

This is almost as scary as teaching him to drive.

Meanwhile, In the High Stakes Bracket.

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 Greg Erickson 26 26 114 57 Ohio St. (120)
1 Kristen Hicks 26 26 103 52 Ohio St. (134)
3 Andrew Pitts 25 25 111 55 Syracuse (159)
3 Jim McCollum 25 25 109 54 Ohio St. (135)
5 DL Belcher 24 24 110 54 Duke (151)
5 Kevin Mead 24 24 103 51 Duke (151)
5 Laura Belcher 24 24 110 54 Ohio St. (162)
5 LA Joseph 24 24 96 50 Ohio St. (126)
5 Pat O'Connor 24 24 101 50 Kansas (143)
5 robby vincill 24 24 110 54 North Carolina (145)
11 Jeremy Shoop 23 23 109 53 Ohio St. (126)
11 Tom Joseph 23 23 99 49 Pittsburgh (130)
13 Bette Brady 22 22 106 51 Ohio St. (136)
13 david young 22 22 108 52 Kansas (154)
13 gabe beck 22 22 108 52 Kansas (150)
13 jason brady 22 22 106 51 Kansas (152)
13 Jonathan Hart 22 22 108 52 Kansas (160)
13 Paul Burris 22 22 106 51 Pittsburgh (153)
13 Rachel McCollum 22 22 103 50 Ohio St. (144)
13 tom joseph 22 22 94 48 Ohio St. (169)
21 BJ Mack 21 21 102 49 North Carolina (118)
21 David Belcher 21 21 107 51 Ohio St. (146)
21 larry brady 21 21 107 51 Kansas (130)
21 shannon beck 21 21 103 49 Duke (145)
25 David Babb 20 20 102 48 Kansas (130)
25 Todd Bealer 20 20 99 47 North Carolina (190)
27 Bill Kelso 18 18 97 45 Ohio St. (140)

Nobody remembers who leads after Day One.

Just saying.

Audit appears to have locked up the bottom three positions, however. Now THAT is memorable.

In Which We Consider the Status of the Special Olympics Division

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 A Pressley 374 26 719 53 Duke (146)
2 Connie Leggett 359 25 732 55 Kansas (89)
3 Phyllis Hodge 337 24 711 54 Kansas (178)
4 Buddy Hamilton 321 23 698 53 North Carolina (156)
5 Mark King 304 22 631 48 Duke (140)
6 Jeff Hodge 282 21 632 49 Duke (160)
7 Andrew Pitts 270 19 581 42 Ohio St. (160)
8 David Babb 269 20 617 48 Kansas (130)
9 LA Joseph 260 19 600 46 Notre Dame (132)

Allison Pressley and Connie Leggett continue to hang tough.

Still not sure what to do with this group. Nor am I clear how Phyllis ended up in both the "Can Follow Instructions" Division and the ADHD Division.

And the Round of 64 is Complete

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 greg erickson 373 25 777 56 Duke (122)
2 Chuck Cruze 365 25 765 55 Connecticut (123)
3 Jessie Hamilton 359 25 728 54 Kansas (150)
4 Andrew Pitts 348 24 717 53 Duke (158)
5 Phyllis Hodge 337 24 711 54 Kansas (178)
6 Perry Griffin 328 23 698 52 Kansas (144)
7 Zane Duncan 326 23 699 52 Duke (148)
8 Daniel Kittrell 325 22 668 47 Ohio St. (154)
9 Hallie Richards 323 23 684 52 Pittsburgh (162)
10 John Bailes 320 22 688 51 Ohio St. (159)
11 Alex Hodge 319 23 653 49 Duke (123)
12 Greg Gilbert 317 23 678 52 Ohio St. (145)
13 Sandy Richards 311 22 678 51 Ohio St. (157)
14 Glenn Sharp 309 22 667 51 Ohio St. (117)
14 Kristen Hicks 309 22 653 49 North Carolina (143)
16 will akers 307 22 669 51 Ohio St. (147)
17 Daniel Fox 305 22 653 49 Pittsburgh (159)
18 Whitney McGowan 303 22 674 52 Ohio St. (156)
19 Emily Sills 299 22 672 52 Ohio St. (131)
19 Jeff Hodge 299 22 650 50 Ohio St. (160)
19 Jim McCollum 299 20 661 48 Pittsburgh (135)
22 Tyler Morrow 288 21 639 49 Ohio St. (158)
23 Jenna Campbell 287 21 641 49 Pittsburgh (141)
23 Steve Richards 287 21 659 51 Kansas (151)
25 Sam Erickson 283 20 610 46 Kansas (151)
26 david young 280 20 655 50 Ohio St. (152)
27 Nelson Swainson 274 20 605 46 North Carolina (155)
28 Bill Kelso 269 19 570 42 Ohio St. (140)
28 David Babb 269 20 617 48 Kansas (130)
30 Ben Alexander 267 20 616 48 Ohio St. (150)
31 andrew hartung 265 19 609 47 Kansas (131)
32 Matthew McGowan 262 19 622 48 Duke (167)
32 Melissa Cruze 262 19 643 49 Duke (114)
34 C Baxter 259 19 592 44 Kentucky (100)
35 Gina Swainson 236 18 586 45 Kentucky (162)

I have seen this movie before, however. A strong start can dissipate oh so quickly.

How about Team Swainson! They have managed to secure 2 of the bottom eight positions. No easy task that. I believe the "Auto-Fill" option would be preferable. Consider that for next year, and thanks for playing.

Libya - A Solution?

Just thinking out loud here...Charlie Sheen as Ambassador to Libya.

Worst Case: Three and A Half Men!

Best Case:

Okay. Bad idea.

Mascots

Florida beat UC Santa Barbara in round 1.

Nickname?

The Gauchos.

Bad, huh? Still, it is better than UC Santa Cruz.

The Banana Slugs.

Baby Otter or Gilbert Gottfried?.

Excuses, Part I

Will Akers may not be doing so great in the tournament this year, and I think I might know why.

Lack.Of.Focus.

Just the other day he told me that his biggest career goal was to move to Pakistan or India and become a cab driver.

Obscure Factual Parallel

In the Wizard of Oz the Wicked Witch of the West (not Nancy Pelosi) is only actually on screen for 12 minutes.

Surprising.

But that's probably longer than Phyllis will be in the running to win this thing.

If You Have to Be in Jail It Looks Like Chattanooga is the Place to Be.

We should do this at work.

Wait a minute, we already do. Because when we roll our sorry asses out of here we are kind of like zombies.

Meanwhile, In the Can't Follow Instructions Division

1 Connie Leggett 261 18 783 58 Kansas (89)
2 Phyllis Hodge 260 18 778 58 Kansas (178)
3 Allsn Prssly 257 18 752 55 Duke (146)
4 Mark King 227 16 714 53 Duke (140)
5 Buddy Hamilton 222 16 750 56 North Carolina (156)
6 Jeff Hodge 205 15 699 53 Duke (160)
7 Andrew Pitts 202 14 692 48 Ohio St. (160)
8 David Babb 192 14 700 53 Kansas (130)
9 LA Joseph 176 13 690 51 Notre Dame (132)

I'll have to score these guys manually. Connie Leggett, a former champion, is always tough to beat. Clearly, though, everyone in this division is a serious contender for the title.

Son of a Bee Sting.

Duly Noted

Finally.

A contest Melissa Cruze is not winning.

Although her husband, Chuck, is certainly right there at the top of the leader board.

Bastard.

CBO: Obama Understates Deficits by $2.3 Trillion

I think that in all fairness that is probably just a rounding error. Or, as we say in accounting, NCM

We Have An Early Leader. But I Don't Know Who It Is.

Group Standings
Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 Jessie Hamilton 234 16 796 58 Kansas (150)
1 Phyllis Hodge 234 16 778 58 Kansas (178)
3 Chuck Cruze 221 15 799 57 Connecticut (123)
4 Hallie Richards 220 15 767 57 Pittsburgh (162)
5 Greg Gilbert 214 15 761 57 Ohio St. (145)
6 greg erickson 210 14 793 57 Duke (122)
7 Jenna Campbell 201 14 744 55 Pittsburgh (141)
8 Andrew Pitts 200 14 755 55 Duke (158)
9 Kristen Hicks 199 14 759 55 North Carolina (143)
10 Steve Richards 197 14 750 56 Kansas (151)
11 Alex Hodge 196 14 719 53 Duke (123)
11 Emily Sills 196 14 739 56 Ohio St. (131)
11 Jeff Hodge 196 14 717 54 Ohio St. (160)
11 Whitney McGowan 196 14 745 56 Ohio St. (156)
15 Sandy Richards 187 13 729 54 Ohio St. (157)
16 Daniel Kittrell 186 13 734 50 Ohio St. (154)
16 Glenn Sharp 186 13 717 54 Ohio St. (117)
18 Daniel Fox 183 13 702 52 Pittsburgh (159)
19 Perry Griffin 182 13 750 55 Kansas (144)
19 Zane Duncan 182 13 749 55 Duke (148)
21 Sam Erickson 177 12 680 50 Kansas (151)
22 John Bailes 174 12 724 53 Ohio St. (159)
23 Jim McCollum 173 11 730 52 Pittsburgh (135)
24 Nelson Swainson 167 12 692 51 North Carolina (155)
25 David Babb 166 12 700 53 Kansas (130)
26 Tyler Morrow 163 12 691 52 Ohio St. (158)
26 will akers 163 12 703 53 Ohio St. (147)
28 Ben Alexander 162 12 701 53 Ohio St. (150)
29 andrew hartung 156 11 698 52 Kansas (131)
30 Matthew McGowan 155 11 693 52 Duke (167)
31 david young 154 11 708 53 Ohio St. (152)
32 Melissa Cruze 151 11 718 53 Duke (114)
33 C Baxter 149 11 704 50 Kentucky (100)
34 Gina Swainson 146 11 709 52 Kentucky (162)
35 Bill Kelso 121 9 608 44 Ohio St. (140)

Gee, Kelso, only nine correct picks. That has to be some sort of record. I am calling ESPN to check.

Let's here it for rookie picker Greg Gilbert, who currently holds down 5th, right behind the soon to be married Hallie Richards, whose future husband, Zane Duncan, was just admitted to Fort Sanders as a result of the severe neck strain he suffered when he looked up and saw where Hallie was in the standings.

Andrew "Bottomless" Pitts is showing up with another solid effort this year and once again leads the way among the auditors. Which is no small accomplishment (it's a tiny accomplishment). Well done, Andrew.

And that stench you smell? That would be Cheryl Baxter's bracket. Cheryl will not be getting any pudding this year. (This is an obscure Ross Foreacre reference.)

In Which Another Bracket is Considered

From Iowahawk.

Butler. Again.

Wow. It only took two games before we had out first buzzer beater. Butler beats ODU 60-58 with 1 second on the clock.

Regrettably, I saw nothing.

Because That Make Sense

Help me out here.

We can't drill in Alaska, hundreds of miles from where anyone lives, because Democrats say we shouldn't.

We aren't drilling in the Gulf because Democrats say we shouldn't.

Too dangerous, they say. Global warming, they say.

Fine.

But now that gas prices are topping $4/gallon in parts of the country, guess what Democrats want to do? Fine oil companies for not drilling for oil.

Sens. Robert Menendez (D-N.J.) and Bill Nelson (D-Fla.) along with Charles Schumer (N.Y.), chairman of the Democratic Policy Committee, touted a bill that would fine companies $4 for every acre of leased public land or water they have yet to drill.

Makes sense, I guess, since Obama's America is increasingly becoming Bizzaro World.

Things That Are Just Mean

I'll bet the term "speech impediment" is really hard to say if you have one.

Should Have Picked Michigan

Damn you Mike Hamilton!

Yesterday, when asked if Bruce Pearl would coach the Vols next year, he told Jimmy Hyams:

"We don't know the answer today," Hamilton said when asked if Pearl would be coach next season. "We've done a lot of soul searching about the direction of our program, and we'll continue to do that, and we'll decide after we're out of the NCAA Tournament what direction it is that we're going to go next."

Everyone knows that when an owner or AD says he doesn't know if the coach will be back but that they are doing some soul searching that the coach will be fired within the next 48 hours.

Advertising

GM is a big sponsor of March Madness.

Those are your tax dollars paying for those ads.

Kind of makes you feel better about your return this year, huh?

Politics and Basketball

So I saw on the news that President Obama posted his brackets yesterday.

Some people were upset about that, because there are A LOT of really important stuff going on in the world at the moment, and he has done nothing with respect to any of them.

Well, that's not true. he wrote an op-ed on gun control in response to the stuff going on in Japan. And he did announce that the earthquake and tsunami were "potentially catastrophic."

I'm pretty sure he does not know what the word "potentially" means.

Very Unhappy With My Bracket

No confidence whatsoever. I have never been more disconnected from the Tournament.

So I stopped by Natalia's office the other day just to see how she was doing and she gave me a strange look. I asked her what was wrong. She said, "Nothing. I'm just working on a new character."

Working in an office is fun.

Except for the working part.

In Which I Ponder getting a New Photo

So Kelly comes by the other day to remind me that my birthday also results in my official photo being on the firm website all week. Then she remarks that I look like someone sought in connection with an Amber Alert.

Pre-Tourney Thoughts.

I am tired.

Obligatory Worthington Post

Yeah, right.

The final four will be Tennessee, Kentucky, Georgia and f
Florida.

In other news, Will Akers is really a fan of the BSB.

Meanwhile, Back at Tax Season

Daniel Kittrell was at Arby's today for lunch, and suddenly he said to himself, "&$;/! I should be taking someone's order."

Random Thought

At what age do you tell a highway it was adopted?

I think seven, because that's about the time he starts to think, "I don't look like Kiwanis club."

Two Words.

Oakland.

Belmont.

Also good names for dogs.

It's Time!

Tourney time, Baby!

You do not get the same intense response at an
Amber Alert.

Which is sad.

Then again, who bets on an Amber Alert?

Priorities.

Earthquakes? Real.

Tsunamis? Real.

Hurricanes? Real.

Global warming? Might be real. Might not be real. But we sure have spent a lot of money on something that might not be real (or if it is real, that we cannot do much or anything about).

Wouldn't that money have better spent on known, undebatable phenomenon that imperil the future of mankind?

Like Charlie Sheen or Justin Beiber.

He Was in the Shower?

From CNN:

A man who broke into a house in Portland, Oregon, called police -- afraid the homeowner may have a gun.

The suspect, Timothy James Chapek, was in the bathroom taking a shower when the homeowner returned to the house Monday night, Portland police said in a statement.

Accompanied by two German shepherds, the homeowner asked Chapek what he was doing in the house.
Chapek locked himself in the bathroom and made an emergency call, police said. He said he had broken into the house, the owner had come home, and that he was concerned the owner might have a gun.

The homeowner also called the police to report that he had found a man in the house.
Police with dogs took Chapek, 24, into custody "without incident," they said. He was booked for criminal trespass.

They did not say if the homeowner did in fact have a gun.

Oh No! The Zune is Dead!

Microsoft's answer to the iPod. I think the only person I know who owned one is President Obama.

Which figures.

Do's and Don'ts of Bracketology

Courtesy of CBS Sports- which obviously thinks you might be retarded:

DON'T: Be afraid to pick teams from the same conference to go to the Final Four. In the past 26 seasons since the field expanded to 64 teams, 18 of those years have featured two teams from the same conference in the Final Four. Since 2000, it has happened eight times, but only once since 2006.

Duh.

DO: Look for one of last year's Final Four teams to return to the Final Four again. Since 1985, 17 teams have been to Final Fours in back-to-back years, including each of the last four years -- Michigan State in 2010, '09; North Carolina in 2009, '08; UCLA 2008, '07, '06; Florida 2007, '06.

DO: Pay attention to the two above trends. Since the field expanded, at least one of those two trends has happened all but one year. Picking one of the two to occur -- or both -- is a pretty safe bet.

Duh.

DON'T: Pick a team because you think the town in which it resides would be a nice place to live. Santa Barbara and Colorado might be fine and beautiful places, but UCSB and Northern Colorado are two of the weakest teams in the field.

Duh.

DO: Listen to your significant other that doesn't know anything about basketball. Sure, their picks might sound crazy and they might like Wofford over BYU because it has a cooler mascot or prettier uniforms, but never underestimate the power of beginner's luck.

As if.

DON'T: Listen to your significant other who is a competitive basketball aficionado. They're not trying to help you, they're trying to sabotage you and your bracket so they can get all the glory and make fun of you later. And no, this isn't from a bitter, bitter personal experience.


DO: Find a German zoo animal to help you decide the 8/9 game and the 7/10 game. Paul the octopus and Heidi the cross-eyed possum didn't let the Germans down during the World Cup or the Oscars. Or you can do what last year's bracket champion Jake Johnson did -- have your guinea pig make your picks. Seriously.

Time honored decision making is based on coin flips. Everyone knows that.

DON'T: Sacrifice your entire bracket because a team played tough in its conference tournament. There are some teams that take the conference tournament seriously and some that would rather rest players in anticipation of the NCAA tournament. Just because UConn won five games in five days doesn't mean it will be able to cruise through the NCAA tournament the same way.

Finally, some decent advice.

DO: Ignore the 16 seeds. Yeah, yeah you hear this every year, but this year won't be any different. No. 16 seeds are 0 for 104 in the tournament, and while some have made valiant efforts, there's very little reason to believe that UT-San Antonio, Alabama State, Boston University, Hampton, UNC-Asheville or Arkansas-Little Rock are going to start a new trend.

Duh.

DON'T: Be tempted by the No. 15 seeds. Similar to 16 seeds, 15 seeds might be fun to look at, but they rarely pay off. No. 15's have only won four times since the conference field expanded to 64 in 1985.

Which means there is a 16% chance in any year that a 15 could win. Not likely, but not zero, either.

DO: Look at the No. 12 seeds over the No. 5 this year because there are some pretty favorable matchups and the 12 seeds tend to make worthwhile runs. With the new play-in system, the winner of the Alabama-Birmingham-Clemson game could present a challenge to West Virginia. And you can't discount Memphis, Utah State and Richmond, all winners of their conference tournaments.

I always go by this rule. Vandy v. Richmond. Uggh.

DON'T: Fall in love with AP-ranked teams. Since 1985, 41 teams started the season unranked and then went into the tournament ranked in the AP Top 10. Those teams, which were often seeded either No. 1 or No. 2, are 0-41 in Final Four appearances.

Valuable intel. If only I had the time to do the research.

DO: Tell all your friends after you've finished your bracket how you think Akron could be the next Butler and how Villanova has just been misunderstood this season. Keep them on their toes, don't show them your hand and be sure to throw in something about "feeling really good about Belmont winning it all."

Yeah, that will work.

DON'T: Hesitate to give that Kansas-Boston University game a second look. I know this is contrary to the "never pick a No. 16" rule, but Kansas has a tumultuous history playing teams that start with the letter "B" in the first round. Kansas lost to Bradley and Bucknell in back-to-back seasons.

Yeah, that's a trend. Kansas has lost two first round games in 25 years, so you better pick against them.

If You Care About America At All You Will Read This

3 Essential Facts About the Current Moment: We're Out of Money, The Public Sector is Overpaid, & We Can't Tax Our Way Out of This.

read the whole thing, but here are the key parts. Facts are stubborn things.

1.

We are in fact broke. We can quibble about semantics - it's not exactly clear what it would mean for the federal or a state govenment to declare bankruptcy - but there's no question that the cash flows at every level of government are more screwed than Moll Flanders ever was. Under President Barack Obama's rosy-till-it-hurts-and-completely-unbelievable scenarios in his 2012 budget proposal, the feds will be running deficits larger than any incurred between 2002-2008 forever and ever amen. And that's best-case, Hail-Mary accounting. And on top of $14 trillion total federal debt, which will double over the next decade under the best-case scenario.

2.

Public-sector workers are compensated better than similar private-sector workers. Nobody contests this claim anymore when it comes to federal workers and similar private-sector employees. They used to, of course, or made sideways explanations for the (nonexistent!) differentials by claiming that federal workers were smarter or did tougher work or had fresher-smelling breath or were congregated in high-cost areas, you name it. The single-largest category of public-sector workers are K-12 teachers (there's more than 3 million). Nationally, they make on average $14,000 a year more than private-school K-12 teachers, a gap that gets even bigger when benefits are added to the total. Studies such as "The Grand Bargain is Dead," by Ohio's Buckeye Institute extensively document "state workers today are paid much more than their private-sector neighbors in 85 out of 88 counties" and The New York Times' recent writeup on the issue make it clear that public-sector employees are doing well by any measure:

Surveys by the Bureau of Economic Analysis show that public workers’ annual compensation — salary plus benefits — is higher on average than private sector workers, and they suggest that the gap is growing....Public workers also put in significantly fewer hours per week. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, their compensation per hour is much higher....Most of the advantage is in benefits. They cost state and local governments $14 an hour on average, about 70 percent more than private employers pay for their workers.

That's The New York Times, mind you. Not the Heritage Foundation, or the John Birch Society, or anybody liberals and progressives want to dismiss out of hand. And what the Times is doing is verifying analyses that came out of the Cato Institute and the American Enterprise Institute and Heritage (I don't surf the JBS site, so I've got no idea what they think on the topic).

You don't need to introduce the related but distinct (and, to my mind, largely irrelevant) issue of collective-bargaining rights for public-sector workers to understand why state and local governments are trying hard as hell to reduce employment costs (and why public-sector workers are calling in sick or taking personal days to rally against cuts). There's big money at stake. The Buckeye Institute estimates that bringing state-worker compensation packages into line with the private sector could erase almost 30 percent of Ohio's projected $8 billion shortfall over the next two years. State expenditures ballooned by 80 percent in inflation-adjused dollars over the last decade and the cutting is going to have be big and ubiquitous. It's going to happen in states with collective bargaining, states without, and in states where the governors are not questioning that sort of activity. That public-sector jobs have been largely shielded from the broad layoffs that took place in the private sector only makes the imbalance greater. Between January 2008 and May 2010, the private sector lost almost 8 million jobs. Over the same time frame, public-sector employment actually increased by a net 590,000 jobs.

3.

We can't tax our way out of this. Commentators ranging from Michael Moore to CNN host (and former New York governor) Eliot Spitzer point to any sort of tax cut in the past 60 years as the real reason why governments are cash-strapped today: If we had just kept the top marginal rate at 92 percent like it was in 1953 we could still pay for cowboy poetry readings! Why did Gov. Scott Walker (R-Wis.) cut business tax rates if he says his state is broke? How can Barack Obama extend the Bush tax "cuts," which overwhelmingly go to the rich and richer? Why not just tax the Koch Bros. and be done with this talk of deficits and shortfalls (leave aside for the moment that expropriating all the wealth of all the billionaires in the U.S. would not cover the federal deficit for a single year)?

Such ideas rest upon any manner of empirically shaky assumptions, including the idea that there's an correlation between tax revenues and financial solvency. Between 2002 and 2007, for instance, state governments increased revenues by about 81 percent, or about four times faster than price inflation and population growth. Had the states kept their outlays constant while allowing for inflation and population growth, they would have been sitting on $2 trillion in reserves when the recession hit. Instead, they were broke heading into the recession and are in even worse position now. When governments get more money coming in, they don't pay off debt - they start new programs, increase existing ones, and kick fiscal responsibility down the road a bit more. It's an exceptionally rare case when governments actually balance this year's - and especially the coming years' - budgets because of new revenue. Indeed, if that were the case, states should never have needed bailouts since the 1970s, when most of them started taxing income for the first time. Governments are like compulsive gamblers who never pay off the loan shark with a windfall. Instead, they keep doubling down and find themselves ever-more on the hook. That's one of the reasons federal revenues could grow year-over-year for most of the Reagan presidency while annual deficits continued and national debt grew.

Leaving aside the still-sluggish economy, the notion that tax revenue can be jacked up (or reduced!) with ease is simply wrong. Since 1950, the federal government has passed through periods where Congress raised and lowered all manner of income, excise, and other taxes. Yet whether FICA taxes were relatively low and top marginal income taxes high or vice versa, federal revenue has clustered tightly around 18 percent of GDP. Some years, it's been higher (as high as 20.9 percent for one year under Bill Clinton) and lower (just around 14.4 percent currently), but it has never strayed far from the 18 percent mark for any length of time. When collections get much higher than that, pressure builds for reductions. In the late 1990s, the too-rare combination at the federal level of relatively restrained spending increases, tax increases (in 1993) and tax cuts (in 1997), and broad economic growth produced at-least-on-paper surpluses. Federal revenue came to a record-high of 20.9 percent of GDP in 2000 while spending came in at just 18.4 percent (see table 1.2). Surplus cash explains why both Al Gore and George W. Bush in 2000 ran on substantial tax cuts, differing on the size and targets (go here for a summary of the budget plans of both candidates; yes, Gore projected smaller spending). What remains most stunning about the Clinton years is not the increases in revenue as a percentage of GDP (though they are notable) but the willingness to substantially reduce spending as a percentage of GDP despite growing piles of cash on hand.

president Obama is black, and by popular convention that makes him a minority. I disagree. Not that he is black - of course he is - but rather that he is a minority.

You see, President Obama is reality challenged (as was President Bush to some degree), and the reality challenged are clearly in the majority in this country.

Maybe it's just human nature.

Tsunamis Tsuck

This is unimaginable.

This Is a Real Headline.

Glossy 'Jihad Cosmo' combines beauty tips with suicide bombing advice

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1365806/Glossy-Jihad-Cosmo-combines-beauty-tips-suicide-bombing-advice.html#ixzz1GaMc9jQu

Makes you wonder.

Behold The Awesome Power of Obama!

The last few weeks President Obama has demonstrated the awesome power of wishful thinking, and as a result of his brilliant tactical thinking and crack leadership team that fool - Colonel Gaddafi - is left with only two options.

In one he crushes the rebels quickly.

In the other he crushes them slowly and painfully.

Here Is A Story You Do Not Hear Every Day. At Least I Hope Not.

Un-freaking-believable.

From the Delaware Supreme Court's ruling in Boggerty v. Stewart (Del. Sup. Ct. Feb. 17, 2011) - AND I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP:

[Appellants claim] that [theater manager] Stewart “insulted, humiliated, and demeaned” them by making a public announcement asking a movie theater audience to turn off their cell phones, remain quiet, and stay in their seats before a movie showing at the Carmike Cinemas Dover location. After conducting a hearing, the Delaware State Human Relations Commission (“Commission”) found that Stewart’s conduct violated Section 4504(a) of the DEAL, and awarded [the 23 separate] Appellants $1,500 each in damages, and attorneys’ fees [$21,510 –EV] and costs [$194 –EV]; and also ordered Carmike Cinemas to pay $5,000 to the Special Administration Fund .... On appeal, the Superior Court reversed the Commission’s decisions, and the Appellants appealed to this Court. For the reasons next discussed, we affirm....

On October 12, 2007, the Appellants, all of whom are African-American, went to Carmike Cinemas in Dover, Delaware, to see a new Tyler Perry movie, “Why Did I Get Married?.” Anticipating a large turnout based on the number of advance ticket sales, Stewart, who was a Caucasian male and the theater manager, scheduled the movie to be shown simultaneously in three auditoriums. The largest auditorium seated 130 people; the other two each seated 50 persons. When Appellants arrived at the theater, they handed their tickets to the ticket agent and received a ticket stub in return. Approaching the auditorium, they saw two security guards. The security guard standing outside the door to the largest auditorium asked to see Appellants’ ticket stubs. Appellants displayed their ticket stubs and were admitted into the largest auditorium. That auditorium was full. Of those attending, 90–95% were African-American.

Before the show, the theater screen displayed messages reminding patrons to turn off their cell phones and to refrain from talking during the movie. Before the movie began, Stewart also made a live announcement to the same effect. He asked the patrons to turn off their cell phones, to stay quiet, and to remain seated throughout the movie. After that announcement, Stewart left the auditorium. After Stewart left, Appellant Larry Bryant followed him outside and told Stewart that his remarks were not well-taken. Stewart immediately returned to the auditorium and apologized to the audience, explaining that he did not mean to offend anyone and that he was required to make the announcement under Carmike Cinemas’ current policy.

At some point during this episode a woman, who later was identified as Juana Fuentes-Bowles, the Director of the State Human Relations Division, stood up and told everyone that she felt that Stewart’s announcement was racist. After identifying herself — not by her official title but as an attorney or someone who worked for an attorney — Fuentes-Bowles circulated a sign-up sheet and asked all audience members who were offended by Stewart’s announcement to write down their contact information. The Appellants all did that, after which the audience then proceeded to watch the movie in its entirety without further incident. After the movie ended, Stewart waited at the auditorium exit door to say “good night” and thank the audience members for attending the show....

[Some of the Appellantes testified] that they were offended by the tone and manner in which Stewart made his announcement (but not by his actual words), and that Stewart’s tone was offensive and condescending, as if he were speaking to children. Those three testifying Appellants also believed that Stewart made the announcement because the audience was primarily African-American and who, therefore, would not know how to behave properly in a theater. None of the Appellants had ever heard such an announcement ever made before. Nor was the presence of a security guard checking their ticket stubs anything that they had ever experienced in previous Carmike Cinemas showings....


[T]he Commission found that although all Appellants were permitted to watch the movie, the circumstances under which they did that were “hostile, humiliating, and demeaning,” and thereby constituted “receiv[ing] services in a markedly hostile manner and in a manner which a reasonable person would find objectively unreasonable.”

The Commission also concluded that nonmembers of the protected class [blacks –EV] had been treated more favorably. The Commission arrived at that conclusion first, by finding Stewart’s and Bridgman’s testimony concerning the announcement policy (and its non-racial purpose) to be “not credible,” and second, by then inferring that the announcement must have been racially motivated....

Government employees are not all bad, of course. But an awful lot of them are.

And those who were offended by this announcement should be publicly humiliated in some way.

Must Read

if you only read one thing today, read this.

It mentions Charlie Sheen, so on that basis alone you have to read it.

Why are we in Afghanistan?

Why do we worry so much about collateral damage during war time? We sure as hell didn't worry about at Hiroshima or Nagasaki. What's really changed?