Victor Hugo.

Have to say this is a really, really nice place. The views are spectacular, and the French people with whom I have interacted have been very nice. So far I have to say that their reputation is not deserved at all. Of course, part of that could be is that I have this really pathetic expression on my face when the say something to me that I do not understand. I have a habit of turning immediately to Betsy or Sam with a look of panic that must be akin to what one looks like when they realize their plane is about to crash.

Anyway, they take pity on me and usually say something like "Do not worr-eeeee, Monsieur. I speak the English." then I smile, tell them I am a big fan of the Pink Panther movies, and everything seems to be fine.

Actually, the running joke in the house is that I just say a string of French words that have no relevance whatsoever to the situation, changing inflection to make it sound like a sentence. Example:

Jann (she is one of our Aussie friends, so when you read the following imagine Crocodile Dundee saying it): Oi, mate! Are Betsy and and Sam back from town yet?
Me: Bon jour! Marion Cottilard Catherine Deneuve Carla Bruni D'Artagnan Notre Dame.

A lot of laughter so far. Laughter is a very good thing, maybe the best of things.

If I knew how to attach photos I would. Yesterday we went into town, and it's just like in the movies. Same told me that every alley reminded him of a chase scene from a James Bond movie. The church was built in the 1300s, and it was really neat. They had these old paintings on the walls. One looked like the Last Supper, but there were kids there and the attire was a bit more informal, so I am thinking maybe it was the Last Brunch.

Enjoyed the late afternoon thinking about the Fourth of July and drinking to the health of the USA (and cursing Barack Hussein Obama) by the pool. Quote of the day goes to Jack, who looked up momentarily from his iTouch at the beautiful valley and river below sand observed, "This does not suck."

The drive down reminded me a good bit of East Tennessee. There were parts of it where Sam or Jack would say, "Dad, doesn't this look like the drive back from Norris Lake?" which it kind of did, except they don't have billboards here (except for one town - go figure).

Random observations of no particular significance:

Got a six back of pretty good beer for 2 Euros (about $3). Now THAT does not suck.

A lot of stuff at the grocery store was ridiculously inexpensive. You can buy a baguette for $0.40.

So far, not a place to buy a steak. Or any meat for that matter.

Pastries are really, really good. And good for you.

Not as much smoking as I expected. It's banned in stores and restaurants now, but it's not enforced. Still, did not see much it, at least not yet.

They definitely do not have the "open 24 hour" mentality over here. Let me tell, you - it really spoils you when you get can't just run to Weigels or Kroger and get what you need when you need it. Then again, maybe that is not a good thing.

Only saw Paris from the interstate (which they don't call the interstate - it's le interstate). Didn't see much, but man they have a lot of graffiti. It was in French, of course, but apparently the French word for "f&$@" is "f$&@." Small world.

The speed limit here is 130 kmh, or about 81 mph. The Germans (i.e., everyone in a Mercedes or BMW), however, drive much faster than that. We have a pretty nice mid-size Peugot five speed. It will do the speed limit with ease. Only problem is that GPS beeps every time I go over it. Who was the bastard who came up with that?

I am the only one in the house who gets up early, just like at home. But I have to say it's pretty nice.

They do not refrigerate their milk - at least not at the store.

Checking In

At Charlotte.

In case you were concerned, BAC is approaching an acceptable level.

Note to self: if elected supreme ruler of the universe, make sure all airports have a micro brew restaurant. It 's just basic human decency.

Bon jour, bitches! Trip to France, Part 1

Okay, so I am sitting at the airport in Knoxville. The big day is finally here. Been waiting for months. Very excited, of course.

My excitement takes many forms. The first leg of the trip is a short flight to Charlotte. Easy squeeze lemon leash, as they say. Well, maybe not "they" literally - but I have heard Michael Caine say it and it really sounds cool when he does.

anyway, right now my focus is on one thing: SkyMall. I.Love.SkyMall. It's like a magazine full of dumb infomercials. My current favorite is the "Garden Yeti" statue. For just $115 you get a realistic looking statue of Bigfoot for your garden or patio. It's only four feet tall, but it is still pretty cool.

http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102517807#

You know you want one.

Okay, I need a beer before I fly, even a short leg. Nerves. Also, it's my vacation. Need to get the BAC to the appropriate level.

Until next time, au revoir.