Dude, I grew up watching American Bandstand. You were MTV before there was MTV.
Then you went and had a stroke. That may or may not have been God's way of punishing us (by making us watch Ryan Seacrest) for something, but I am pretty sure it was His way of saying it was time to give up on "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve."
I mean, nobody says rockin' anymore.
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