Ulak Tartysh

Is Davidson the story of the 2008 tournament? Sure - along with Potter and King. But it would have been really cool to have these guys in the Final Four. Basketball is fun, but a headless sheep tossing? That's real fun.




Same colors as Davidson, too.

Where I Consider Swearing

What is the first line from the movie "Four Wedding and a Funeral"?

Now you're with me.

Where I Inquire About Her Bracket

So I asked a rhetorical question of Karen Cobb the other day.

"How's your bracket doing?"

She replied "Swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

Admit It

You cannot get Feliz Navidad out of your mind.

Your day is ruined.

You should go home.

Wait.

You shouldn't be reading this at work. You ARE at home.

Weird.

Great Moments in Office Conversations

So I am at lunch and I see Melissa Miller, Neisha Layman and Amy Holley at the same restaurant. So I wave at them. They walk over to my table.

Me: Hey. How are you guys?
Them: Fine. You?
Me: Great.
Them:
Me: By the way, Melissa. I walked by your office the other day and it looked like you were talking into your mouse like it was a CB radio.
Melissa: 10-4.
Me: Thanks for clearing that up. See you back at the office.
Them: Bye. Talk to you later.

So then they turn and walk away. I think they were humming Feliz Navidad.

Weird.

Secret Facts, Part 1

Mark King was the understudy to Billy Mummy on Lassie

Anita Brown's maiden name is Black

Debbie Jones once considered hyphenating her first name

Todd Bealer knows a guy who knows a guy who went to college with the guy featured in the Coor's Light ads that feature that song with the refrain, "...and TWINS."

There is no truth to the rumor that John Bailes worked for the postal service during high school

If you look up the phrase "%^$t-eating grin" on the internet you will find Josh Wiley's picture.

Steven Schoolfield's best friend as a child was Allen Iverson

As a child, Heather Luttrell threw up on former President Carter

Phyllis Hodge is secretly a fan of Tony Stewart

Greg Gilbert once hit a cat with a lawn dart

Jim McCollum's nickname in high school was "Buzz"

Kathy Seagrist once drove over the speed limit

Not that soon.

Cut me some slack here, people.

Must Read

Coming Soon: The Secret Pasts of Your Co-Workers.

Interview with Current Leader Mark King

Me: Wow. I mean, wow! What got into you this year. Your Mom was a great player, sure. But frankly, you usually suck at this. What gives?

King: 'Roids. But don't tell anyone.

Me: So how do you feel about your performance?

King: Truthfully, I really lack the words to compliment myself.

Me: I think you speak for all of us on that. Except for Waters.

King: Really? What did he say?

Me:

King: Wow! He said that?

Me: Yep.

King:

Me: Exactly.

April Fool's Day Practice

So I call a broker trying to get some info as we are all wont to do these days. I get his assistant (of course), who is very, very, very nice, is always very helpful and is exceedingly polite and professional (and probably does three times as much work as the lazy bastard broker).

I tell her what I need...yada, yada, yada...and she asks, very sweetly, "And at what number can he reach you?"

I said - and I am not making this up - "32."

She wasn't prepared for that. She replied, " Excuse me?"

I said, "32. It's a great number, don't you think?"

Obviously blonde (sorry, but I'd bet money on it), she still doesn't get it and asks, again, innocently "Is that your extension?"

Obviously evil, I respond, "No. I just like it. But my phone number is....."

Don't worry.

I know I am going to hell.

The orange-blooded John Bailes writes:

?*!?*%$ game last night….huh? I’ve never seen Lofton look so helpless and get so many shots blocked.

Whoa! First of all, it's spelled "#$%^&*+!!" not "?*!?*%$." Second of all, whoa! I wonder if Whitney will be hyphenated after she gets married. It seems to be going around, you know.

Does the phrase "Holy Cow""...

...mean something different in India? I mean, do you get in trouble for saying it, or do those who hear you say it just nod there heads in agreement?

(This is not a veiled reference to Whitney's new hair, which by the way looks very nice thank you very much.)

No Country for Old Men

Good movie.

Personally, I liked National Treasure II better.

Best Supporting Actor? I think it should have gone to Adam Tinker for his role in There's First Place, Then There's Everybody Else.

Keeye-ong, PotterContinue Battle For the Lead.

Mark "Master Beef" Keeye-ong and Jeff "Grade A Large Brown" Potter continue to dominate this year's pool. In fact, they've taken the fun out of it for the rest of us....like David Blaine!

Metaphor Alert

Not since the Hindenburg went up in flames at Lakehurst, New Jersey have so many brackets been destroyed by a single game. Like a 15 minute filet left in the oven for 2 hours at 500 degrees, the following brackets are done:

8 Jessica Cooper
13 Gina Swainson
36 Clay Irby
28 danny pressley
18 Karen Cobb
27 Phyllis Hodge
5 Mark Worthington
38 Cara Cardell
48 Sarah Singleton
10 Mark Smith
30 Jake Hutchison
42 Sara Wilch

Thanks for playing! We have some lovely parting gifts for you.

Debbie, tell them what they've won.

Debbie Jones: We have a miniature Partner's Instructions for Schedule K-1 (Form 1065)!

See you next year.

Not Everything Here is Silly

Here is a short article you really should take the time to read. It's entitled "Consequences," and its a reminder that we never know how the things we do in our lives might affect someone else. It's not too long; it won't take but a couple of minutes. I'll wait.

It's a true story about a young woman from Knoxville named Frankie Housley who died in 1951.

You know, we live in a world that is too often cold and cynical. Sometimes we come across things that remind us of the awe-inspiring magnificence and the redemptive power of the extraordinary things of which we are all capable from time to time.

Wonder How They'll Get Around This?

Elton John is going to perform at a special benefit concert for Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign, Wed., April 9, 2008, at Radio City Music Hall. Tickets are as high as $2,300.

Big deal, right? well, it kind of is. See, eventually we will find out that Hillary has been getting a lot of money with connections to China and Russia. But what’s wrong with Elton John’s participation?

Well, it turns out that old Elton John is a British citizen (even though he lives in Atlanta). As such, his professional services would be an ILLEGAL “in-kind contribution by a foreign national” unless he is paid his usual going rate for a for-profit concert. Which means they have to pay him. But if they pay him, the benefit is a lot less.

Discuss.

New Sign!!!!

In case you didn't notice the new signage.

Mark W. King, CPA

Something to Think About, Part IV

Some people complain that "the quality of candidates for almost any office - but especially the Presidency - is low and unsatisfactory. I have done so. But upon reflection, the quality of the candidates is low because the quality of people is low. It was ever thus but in the old days we didn't have as much information.

Some observers - both Democrat and Republican - proclaim that "Bush has been a disaster for the Republican Party." I agree.

Some observers - both Democrat and Republican - proclaim that "Howard Dean has been a disaster for the Democratic Party." I agree.

And we forget that many observers - both Democrat and Republican - proclaimed not that long ago that "Bill Clinton was a disaster for the Democratic Party" (because the Dems lost control of the House and the Senate on his watch, Monicagate, Pardongate, etc.).

Hmmmmm.

If we take a small step back (and set aside Dean, who is a moron), it appears that a great many experts believe that the last two presidents - both of whom were elected twice - have been "disasters" for their respective parties.

From a historic perspective, Clinton is remembered as an OK, not terrible and often effective President. And Bush will be remembered better (perhaps better than he deserves), certainly far better than the present. I don't think he is like Truman, but in terms of popularity while in office the two are eerily similar.

So just what is happening here?

I submit that there is truth in what some surely retired politician once said: "The American people are no prize, either."

The problem in these "disasters," which seem to cause otherwise moderate voters to turn
on their own President and party, is largely one of perception, as seen by a population with an appallingly low sense of history and civics, a childish sense of entitlement to being shielded from any and all "bad things," by a government that has always been ineffectual in the short term and dangerous in the long term when it comes to solving problems, and a ridiculously inflated opinion of themselves, certainly when judging Presidents and politicians.

Not to mention the media and educational establishments that have been willing contributors to and conspirators in many way responsible for the above.

That said, none of the above issues alone, nor the problematic caliber of current candidates, are singly responsible for the, quote "disasters", of which so many "experts" like to speak.

It is as it usually is - a mixed bag, with far more gray than black and white.

But let us never forget that a large measure of the element of fault, dear Brutus, lies in ourselves.

Where the phone rings at 3 am

President Bush was woken by the phone ringing. "What time is it?" He glanced at the clock: 3 A.M. "Oh... come on..." He picked up the phone. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Sir, this is Secretary Gates. We have--"

"3 A.M., Robby. Can't this wait until morning?"

"Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Sir, we are on the verge of--"

"I'm a busy man, you know. I have stuff to do in the morning."

"Sir, this is very important. India and Pakistan are on the verge of having a nuclear exchange."

Bush was quiet for a moment. "Wow. Really? ...You really thought that was something worth waking me up at some ungodly hour? How in the world does that affect us?"

"We are talking about--"

"And what do you expect me to do, anyway? I'm not Superman; I can't just fly over there and grab the missiles out of the air. Did you get the presidential phone mixed up with your Superman signal watch, Dick Grayson?"

"I think you mean Jimmy Olsen, sir."

"It's too early in the morning for me to keep secondary comic book characters straight!"

"Honey?" Laura asked, half asleep. "Is it something important?"

"No," Bush answered her and put the phone back to his ear. "Why are they even doing this now? Don't India and Pakistan know what time it is? Don't they have to sleep?"

"It's a different time there, sir."

"Huh?"

"It's not the same time there as it is here?"

"What? Now time travel is involved? It's way to early in the morning for me to be dealing with this crap."

"Sir, a nuclear exchange is an unprecedented incident. This is a world changing event, and we will need you to lead."

Bush sighed. "Fine." He started to get out of bed.

"Ha! I punked you!" Gates said.

"Oh, man..."

"Yeah, there's nothing happening. I just felt like pulling a prank on you."

Bush laughed. "You got me. That's like the third time this week, you rascal." Bush hung up the phone and laid back in bed.

"Dang. Next thing you know Hillary Clinton is going to call and claim she is pinned down by sniper fire."

Where We Name Names

Hollie Hissam.

Jill Johnson

Kimberly Kosier

Sharon Souder

Melissa Miller

Stacy Schuettler

Cara Cardell

Jenna Jones

Andy Adkisson

Bo Boaz

Debbie Dunn

What do they have in common?

Their first names and their last names begin with the same letter. Which begs the question: what about their middle names? If we assign each of them a middle initial that is the same as their first and last names and total the letters in their adjusted names, then divide by the round of the tournament to be played next (i.e., the third, or 3), do you know what number you get?

You guessed it: 32.

Curiously, the law of the excluded middle [name] states that the formula "P ∨ ¬P" ("P or not-P") can be deduced from the calculus under investigation. It is one of the defining properties of classical systems of logic. However, some systems of logic have different but analogous laws, while others reject the law of excluded middle entirely. (This is what led to the creation of firm flow.)

The law is also known as the law (or principle) of the excluded third, or,in Latin: principium tertii exclusi. Yet another Latin designation for this law is Tertium non datur: "there is no third (possibility)". This is why have three identical initials for a monogram is so rare. The numerology here is frightening, no?

The law of excluded middle is related to the principle of bivalence, which is of course a semantic principle instead of a law that can be deduced from the calculus.

For some finite n-valued logics, there is an analogous law called the law of excluded n+1th. This is useful for understanding billing. But if the negation is cyclic and '∨' is a "max operator", then the law can be expressed in the object language by (P ∨ ~P ∨ ~~P ∨ ... ∨ ~...~P), where '~...~' represents n-1 negation signs and '∨ ... ∨' n-1 disjunction signs. It is easy to check that the sentence must receive at least one of the n truth values (and not a value that is not one of the n).

So you see, this helps us to understand why no one is 32d place in the pool.

More David Blaine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGrTvNzGCZE

Just watch.

Now.

Go ahead.

I'll wait.

The REAL truth behind Hillary's trip to Bosnia

A 2008 Newsletter Exclusive


See that innocent little Bosnian girl in the picture with Hillary Clinton?

Well, she may look innocent, but I have it on good authority that she is packing heat. Probably an Uzi. And she is also a suicide bomber, loaded down with 20 lbs of Cemtex.

Plus, she's a ninja.

The reason all those men in suits are hanging around is that they’re the only ones left after the Army guys - pansies! - got scared and ran off.

Only Hillary is brave enough to confront this clear and present danger. Sniper fire? Yeah there was sniper fire. Some who were there may disagree, but they must define sniper fire differently. It's a tough phrase with multiple meanings, you know.

Like "is."

Damn it, we're lucky to have her.

Something to Think About, Part III

"There is one word in America that says it all, and that word is, 'You never know.'"

Something to Think About, Part II

"I never get bored, because there's always different puzzles, I'm wearing different clothes, there's different contestants, there's different prizes." - Vanna White

Something to Think About

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost an important part of your life" - Brooke Shields

Medical Update

Injuries always play a big part in the tournament. (UCLA is not going to make the Final Four because of them, for example.)

But they also affect the pool.

Fortunately, we have some good news to report. Gina Kent is back at work today after severely injuring her neck last week while she looked up at the top of the leader board.

Keeye-ong?

Several readers have asked "How do you get "Keeye-ong?"

Just call his voicemail.

You'll expect "This is Mark King." Two syllables. But you'll get: "This is Mark [pause] Keeye-ong." Four syllables (at least).

Formerly hyphenated reader Jessica Stanford writes:

"You're not Greg Gilbert, are you?"

They're not booing....

....they're yelling Keeye-ong!

It's close, though. Well, not really close as of today, but it could be a week from today.

Prediction: it's going to be about Wisconsin, baby.

King had Pitt in the Final Four, yet he still leads. Ben had Georgetown, and Dr. Potter has Tennessee. All these picks smell like trouble to me. Then again, that could just be Josh Wiley's potato.

1 Mark King 332 37 472 48 UCLA (147)
2 Ben Alexander 331 39 488 51 North Carolina (150)
3 Jeff Potter 327 38 529 52 Texas (158)
4 Buddy Hamilton 318 37 498 51 North Carolina (152)
4 Steve Richards 318 37 469 50 Kansas (159)
6 Jessica Cooper 311 34 473 46 Tennessee (132)
7 Andrew Pitts 310 37 450 49 North Carolina (100)
8 Mark Worthington 308 37 512 52 Tennessee (160)
9 Whitney Danehy 307 37 476 50 North Carolina (143)
10 Melissa Miller 301 34 416 44 North Carolina (147)
11 Gina Swainson 300 34 473 47 Tennessee (141)
11 Phyllis Hodge (2) 300 36 485 50 UCLA (159)
13 Sam Pressley 296 35 430 46 Duke (159)
14 greg erickson 294 35 506 50 North Carolina (137)
15 Karen Cobb 292 36 450 48 Tennessee (152)

Kelso is dominating McCollum's bracket, yet he is nowhere to be found in this one. Discuss.

David Blaine...

...made the weekend posts disappear!

But seriously, if you haven't seen it and need a laugh, this spoof is for you. (Some language may not be appropriate for work. Not that you haven't heard it before.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYxu_MQSTTY

Current Leader Mark King writes:

Sorry.

They are still pathetic.

Agreed.

With that as a predicate

The following "chronically underperforming" individuals are now "priority one":


39 Amy Holley 246 30 380 41 North Carolina (100)
40 Jeff Mahon 244 30 395 40 North Carolina (151)
41 Jim McCollum 242 31 421 45 Kansas (144)
42 Jason Hamilton 241 30 376 41 North Carolina (171)
42 Sara Wilch 241 32 393 43 Texas (124)
44 Andrew Hartung 238 32 397 45 UCLA (125)
45 Todd Bealer 223 31 363 43 North Carolina (172)
46 Marianne Nichols 222 30 353 41 Memphis (153)
47 Sarah Singleton 221 29 355 39 Tennessee (166)
48 Gina Kent 218 26 364 37 UCLA (167)
49 Kelly Fitzpatrick 216 30 341 41 North Carolina (131)
50 Adam Tinker 183 24 308 34 North Carolina (140)
51 Kim Mahon 172 26 262 33 Pittsburgh (156)

Wow! They don't seem nearly as pathetic now.

Why Our Children Isn't Learning

Radley Balko | March 23, 2008, 10:39am

Because their educators waste time on crap like this:

To soothe the bruised egos of educators and children in lackluster schools, Massachusetts officials are now pushing for kinder, gentler euphemisms for failure.

Instead of calling these schools "underperforming," the Board of Education is considering labeling them as "Commonwealth priority," to avoid poisoning teacher and student morale.

Schools in the direst straits, now known as "chronically underperforming," would get the more urgent but still vague label of "priority one."

The board has spent parts of more than three meetings in recent months debating the linguistic merits and tone set by the terms after a handful of superintendents from across the state complained that the label underperforming unfairly casts blame on educators, hinders the recruitment of talented teachers, and erodes students' self-esteem.

[...]

At a December meeting on how to improve struggling schools in Holyoke, Lawrence, and Springfield, superintendents implored members not to stick them with a label of "chronically underperforming."

"For our teachers, it's a blow," said Wilfredo Laboy, Lawrence superintendent. "It demoralizes staff completely."

Joseph Burke, Springfield superintendent, said that while he is not crazy about any label, he would prefer "priority one," because "It sounds nicer."

Becca Krumdieck Update

On Saturday Becca asked me, "How do you have time to write this crap?" (She was confused. Again.)

"Becca," I replied, " I don't write any of this. First of all, I have people who do this for me - the "crack staff." Second of all, this entire newsletter can be explained in two words: cut and paste."

Now that's what I am talking about!

I have an interesting new client.

It's an LLC owned by two sets of Siamese twins with split personalities. So we're getting paid for one 1065 and eight 1040s.

Discuss

Maybe she was the one who inhaled

Hillary using a Bosnian child as a shield from snipers in 1996.

"I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base."
--Hillary Clinton, speech at George Washington University, March 17, 2008.

Hillary Clinton has been regaling supporters on the campaign trail with hair-raising tales of a trip she made to Bosnia in March 1996. In her retelling, she was sent to places that her husband, President Clinton, could not go because they were "too dangerous." When her account was the comedian Sinbad, who was with her on the trip, she upped the ante and injected even more drama into the story.

The Washington Post reports that there are "numerous problems" with Clinton's version of events.

Clearly you don't want to cross Sinbad, whom we all remember from Star Search. According to Sinbad, who provided entertainment on the trip along with the singer Sheryl Crow, the "scariest" part was deciding where to eat. Sinbad pointed out the obvious flaw in the premise behind the Clinton version of events.

"What kind of president would say 'Hey man, I can't go 'cause I might get shot so I'm going to send my wife. Oh, and take a guitar player and a comedian with you."

When you really think about it, though, Sinbad may be wrong here. Count me among those who think Bill may well have said, "Let's see there's a chance Hillary may get shot? Monica, that would be a real shame, wouldn't it?"

From the newsletter archives

Who first seduc'd them to that fowl revolt?
Th' infernal Serpent; he it was, whose guile
Stird up with Envy and Revenge, deceiv'd
The Mother of Mankinde, what time his Pride
Had cast him out from Heav'n, with all his Host
Of Rebel Angels, by whose aid aspiring
To set himself in Glory above his Peers.





Funny thing is, Milton was blind.

As are so many of this year's contestants.

Steve Richards writes:

"You had me at hello."

I think this was meant for Sandy.

Tampa?

Another reason to hate Florida.

Schoolfield must be behind this.

I'll take things that come in last for $500, Alex.

Adam Tinker writes:

It may be worse by now; or the cosmos might have aligned and I’m back within the century mark of first place uber-picker (brackets, not nose), Mr. Alexander.

Since I cannot yet concede total defeat, and here we must turn our attention to the fact that most if not all of my sweet 16 teams remain (which is actually not an uncommon feat, and therefore quite a flimsy argument), I will endeavor to explain myself amid the allegations and near indictment that you thrust upon me in your improperly proclaimed “infamous” web log.

It’s quite simple actually. Much like my first day of work, I’m sandbagging. Ingenious.

Oops…116 points from first.

Does not Adam remind us, in some small way, of Cawdor's death scene in MacBeth:

"Nothing in this pool became him like the leaving of it."

Ole'

Toreros top Huskies in OT, 70-69.

And we all know what "San Diego" means in the original Spanish.

Interview with Josh Wiley, Part II

Josh Wiley (photo courtesy of Todd Bealer)


Me: You've really gained a lot of notoreity in the last few hours, haven't you?
Josh:
Me: Kimberly "Kimmy" Kosier has started calling you "Stinky." Any thoughts?
Josh:
Me: Kristen "I'll Use that hyphen if you aren't going to, Jessica" Bowman-Hicks was especially offended. And she indicates this isn't the first time you've been a bit malodorous.
Josh:
Me: If it will make you feel any better, the Chico, California City Council recently enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
Josh: What about potatoes?

Voicemail Tip

Try ending your "personal greeting" with "and I've approved this message."

Still No One in 32d Place

Some things are just so strange.

An Interview with Josh Wiley

Me: So, I hear you are learning how to cook. How's it going?
Josh: Not too well.
Me: Really? What seems to be the problem?
Josh: Apparently there's this timer thing that you are supposed to use when you cook in the microwave.
Me: Uh, yeah.
Josh. WELL NO ONE TOLD ME!
Me:
Josh: Funny thing, though. Potatoes can explode! Kind of cool. But Sandy is none too pleased.
Me:
Josh: And sweet potatoes really aren't sweet, but they are orange. And you know those things they call "new potatoes"? They aren't new, but they're red. Who ever is in charge of potatoes isn't too bright.
Me:
Me: You still wear swimmers, don't you?

Mark "Master Beef" Keeye-ong Surges toward the Front

Adam "I am only 102 points out of first" Tinker continues to hold a commanding lead in the losers bracket.



1 Ben Alexander 194 19 585 61 North Carolina (150)
2 Mark King 186 18 611 61 UCLA (147)
3 Jeff Potter 180 18 596 60 Texas (158)
3 Phyllis Hodge (2) 180 18 585 61 UCLA (159)
3 Steve Richards 180 18 565 61 Kansas (159)
6 Karen Cobb 172 18 572 61 Tennessee (152)
6 Sam Pressley 172 17 624 60 Duke (159)
8 Andrew Pitts 164 17 538 59 North Carolina (100)
9 Anita Brown 162 17 564 60 North Carolina (166)
9 Buddy Hamilton 162 17 598 59 North Carolina (152)
9 Mark Worthington 162 17 574 60 Tennessee (160)
12 Greg Marret 160 16 638 58 UCLA (155)
12 Scott Looney 160 15 557 58 Kansas (162)
14 Whitney Danehy 158 17 546 58 North Carolina (143)
15 Jessica Cooper 156 15 582 57 Tennessee (132)
16 Jason Hamilton 154 15 556 56 North Carolina (171)
17 Mark Smith 152 17 577 59 Tennessee (171)
18 danny pressley 146 16 562 59 Tennessee (151)
18 Mark Beeler 146 15 587 57 North Carolina (154)
18 Sandy Richards 146 16 551 58 Kansas (175)
21 Gina Swainson 144 15 560 57 Tennessee (141)
22 Joe Krumdieck 142 15 563 58 Kansas (145)
22 Joshua Wiley 142 15 559 58 Texas (168)
24 Cara Cardell 140 16 542 58 Tennessee (166)
24 Clay Irby 140 14 643 57 Tennessee (142)
24 greg erickson 140 15 586 57 North Carolina (137)
27 Melissa Miller 138 14 554 57 North Carolina (147)
27 Phyllis Hodge (1) 138 15 546 58 Tennessee (159)
27 Robert Freeman 138 16 583 59 Duke (122)
30 Christie Knapper 136 16 550 59 North Carolina (164)
31 Allison Pressley 134 16 533 59 Kansas (162)
31 Beverly Mack 134 16 513 59 North Carolina (150)
31 Bill Kelso 134 15 528 55 North Carolina (142)
31 Connie Leggett 134 16 519 59 UCLA (135)
31 Jim McCollum 134 14 543 57 Kansas (144)
36 Jake Hutchison 132 14 565 56 Tennessee (183)
37 Amy Holley 130 14 546 56 North Carolina (100)
37 Andrew Hartung 130 15 512 56 UCLA (125)
39 Kelly Fitzpatrick 126 15 514 56 North Carolina (131)
40 Jeff Mahon 124 14 661 55 North Carolina (151)
41 Jessica Stanford 120 14 526 57 North Carolina (124)
42 Sara Wilch 118 14 523 54 Texas (124)
43 Debbie Christison 116 14 512 56 North Carolina (142)
43 Gina Kent 116 12 610 52 UCLA (167)
45 John Bailes 114 13 548 54 Texas (143)
46 Sarah Singleton 108 12 528 55 Tennessee (166)
47 Kristen Hicks 100 13 578 55 Kansas (127)
47 Marianne Nichols 100 12 503 55 Memphis (153)
47 Todd Bealer 100 13 477 55 North Carolina (172)
50 Kim Mahon 96 12 590 52 Pittsburgh (156)
51 Adam Tinker 92 10 532 51 North Carolina (140)

Alexander No Longer Perfect

Down goes Alexander!
Down goes Alexander!
Down goes Alexander!

The mighty Western Kentucky Hilltoppers - the dreaded #12 seed - have knocked the previously blemish-free bracket of Ben Alexander from its perch atop league standings. Alexander, who had even gotten Davidson over Gonzaga, was nonplussed by his first loss.

"You know, I try to be philosophic about these things. As Nietchze once observed, 'sometimes when you stare into the bracket the bracket stares back.' Or was that Debbie? Anyway, it's not like I am going to get a review note or anything."

A Stroke of Genius

As many Democrats now publicly worry about the potentially destructive Obama-Clinton battle, I would, as a public service to the entire country, like to propose a solution: Thunderdome.

“Two candidates enter, one candidate leaves.”

Think of the add revenue they could generate!
Think of the ratings!
And the big winner: the American People!

Some ask why I do these things.
I'd think the answer is obvious.

I do it for THE CHILDREN!

Does he WANT Clinton to Win?

When asked to comment, "typical white person" Randy Tindell remarked, "Golly."