Friday, February 5, 2010
Did Not See THAT Coming
Debbie Jones came by my office this morning and broke into a rousing rendition of "Pants on the Ground."
Was I surprised?
Yeah, just a bit.
Was I surprised?
Yeah, just a bit.
Is Nothing Sacred?
My opinions regarding Jihadists are well known (i.e., what's the point of nuclear weapons if you aren't willing to use them?). Many find my position to be over the top and unreconcilable with my demand that we immediately withdraw our troops from Iraq and Afghanistan.
Perhaps.
But when I read something like this I must concede that I am going way to easy on these bastards.
Perhaps.
But when I read something like this I must concede that I am going way to easy on these bastards.
Agents for Britain's MI5 intelligence service have discovered that Muslim doctors trained at some of Britain's leading teaching hospitals have returned to their own countries to fit surgical implants filled with explosives, according to a report from Joseph Farah's G2 Bulletin.
Women suicide bombers recruited by al-Qaida are known to have had the explosives inserted in their breasts under techniques similar to breast enhancing surgery. The lethal explosives – usually PETN (pentaerythritol Tetrabitrate) – are inserted during the operation inside the plastic shapes. The breast is then sewn up.
Similar surgery has been performed on male suicide bombers. In their cases, the explosives are inserted in the appendix area or in a buttock. Both are parts of the body that diabetics use to inject themselves with their prescribed drugs.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
In Which My Life at Home is Revealed
From Betsy's Facebook page:
Betsy Niblick Erickson For sale: globe light fixture for $40. Paid $80 3 years ago. Attaches to most standard ceiling light fixtures. Send me a msg. if you want it!
10 hours ago · Comment · LikeUnlike · Share
Sam Erickson
I'll take it
4 hours ago
Sam Erickson
My adress is 809 foxfield lane in woodland springs. It's right across from al lotts.
4 hours ago
Betsy Niblick Erickson
You are a smartass.
Monday, February 1, 2010
There is nothing on TV on Monday Night
Except Men of a Certain Age. But it comes on at 10. I go to bed at 10.
Because I am of a certain age.
Thank God for DVR. Great Show. You. Must. Watch.
LOST tomorrow. I might wet my pants. Very excited
Modern Family on Wednesday. Awesome show. Very funny; well written.
Thursday? Community. Well written and funny; great cast. The Office. Enough said, shark jumping or not. Fringe. Love it. Especially Dr. Bishop.
Jurgen Prochtnow just killed his son on 24. Jurgen is a bad ass. But cruel. Especially in BeerFest.
Jack Bauer is wearing glasses this season. I think they are TEDS, or as we called them in Special Forces, Tactical Eye Device System. Military issue. Also known as birth control glasses. I have a pair.
Also a vasectomy.
Just in case.
Up. Great Movie. Great. I cried at the 10 minute mark. But Doug made it all worthwhile. And I loved the Kid.
Why has there never been a sitcom about an accounting firm?
Never mind.
You know know what you need to know about TV. Get a drink and watch.
Because I am of a certain age.
Thank God for DVR. Great Show. You. Must. Watch.
LOST tomorrow. I might wet my pants. Very excited
Modern Family on Wednesday. Awesome show. Very funny; well written.
Thursday? Community. Well written and funny; great cast. The Office. Enough said, shark jumping or not. Fringe. Love it. Especially Dr. Bishop.
Jurgen Prochtnow just killed his son on 24. Jurgen is a bad ass. But cruel. Especially in BeerFest.
Jack Bauer is wearing glasses this season. I think they are TEDS, or as we called them in Special Forces, Tactical Eye Device System. Military issue. Also known as birth control glasses. I have a pair.
Also a vasectomy.
Just in case.
Up. Great Movie. Great. I cried at the 10 minute mark. But Doug made it all worthwhile. And I loved the Kid.
Why has there never been a sitcom about an accounting firm?
Never mind.
You know know what you need to know about TV. Get a drink and watch.
Son of a Bee Sting!
Okay, today at lunch we had a meeting. It was dull. How dull, you ask?
Shannon was staring at her thumbs. It struck me as unusual. Then I realized she was trying to determine if one was longer the other. This kept her busy for a good 37 minutes (not that I was timing her). She looked up at one point to check the clock (it was moving backwards) and noticed I was looking at her. I said, "The right one is longer." She said, "I know. But it's not too obvious, is it?"
Melissa Miller snored so loudly she woke herself up.
Kelly and Becca were counting the green and brown threads in the carpet. I know this because their lips were moving. First one to 11,000 won. I am not saying who won, but Becca got to leave first.
Mark Childress hid behind the tree in the corner. I swear I looked up and he was wearing a pith helmet. The next thing I knew he had blended into the background like in the movie Predator. I was going to say something but he gave me the evil eye. Fortunately I killed a goat this morning.
Mark Brumby-low was asked a question and in his answer he said "like Flav-o-Flav" then realized he had done so and pretended he hadn't. But I could tell several people were interested. Because they woke up.
All in all, pretty damn exciting.
Shannon was staring at her thumbs. It struck me as unusual. Then I realized she was trying to determine if one was longer the other. This kept her busy for a good 37 minutes (not that I was timing her). She looked up at one point to check the clock (it was moving backwards) and noticed I was looking at her. I said, "The right one is longer." She said, "I know. But it's not too obvious, is it?"
Melissa Miller snored so loudly she woke herself up.
Kelly and Becca were counting the green and brown threads in the carpet. I know this because their lips were moving. First one to 11,000 won. I am not saying who won, but Becca got to leave first.
Mark Childress hid behind the tree in the corner. I swear I looked up and he was wearing a pith helmet. The next thing I knew he had blended into the background like in the movie Predator. I was going to say something but he gave me the evil eye. Fortunately I killed a goat this morning.
Mark Brumby-low was asked a question and in his answer he said "like Flav-o-Flav" then realized he had done so and pretended he hadn't. But I could tell several people were interested. Because they woke up.
All in all, pretty damn exciting.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
I Am NOT Making This Up
Actual Headline:
Britain on alert for deadly new knife with exploding tip that freezes victims' organs
Surprisingly, the "police are concerned that the £200 weapon could fall into the wrong hands."
Ah yes, the police. The guys who made the top 95% of your high school class possible.
Britain on alert for deadly new knife with exploding tip that freezes victims' organs
Surprisingly, the "police are concerned that the £200 weapon could fall into the wrong hands."
Ah yes, the police. The guys who made the top 95% of your high school class possible.
And Some People Consider Pakistan to be Backwards
Why?
Yeah, you read that correctly.
Some cultures are inferior. It's not politically correct to say that, of course, but that doesn't mean it's not true.
Just a thought, but instead of keeping troops over there in that part of the world, why don't we:
(a) use the nukes we spent so much money on over the years, or
(b) tell them we have cast an evil eye spell on them and if they act badly, well, see (a), above
Pakistan’s president Asif Ali Zardari has been slaughtering black goats every day since becoming President, in an attempt to ward off “the evil eye”.
This particular practice in the Muslim faith is called ‘Sadaqa’, where an animal is slaughtered and its meat distributed among the poor to gain Allah’s blessings and protection from misfortune. “There are many religious traditions in Pakistan based on local culture and Sufi order,” says Samina Ahmed, Head of the International Crisis Group in Pakistan.
Yeah, you read that correctly.
Some cultures are inferior. It's not politically correct to say that, of course, but that doesn't mean it's not true.
Just a thought, but instead of keeping troops over there in that part of the world, why don't we:
(a) use the nukes we spent so much money on over the years, or
(b) tell them we have cast an evil eye spell on them and if they act badly, well, see (a), above
Facebook is Confusing
That's all.
I get poked, then I get comments from people I've never met, then people mock me for commenting TOO MUCH (apparently you can't use more than 6 words in a comment).
My kids don't understand why I am doing it at all.
Still shocked they don't have the sarcasm font figured out yet.
Betsy's older sister is extremely liberal. As in no sentient being really believes in the stuff you believe in liberal.
If you hang out with people from high school on Facebook are there still cool kids? I don't think there are, which suggests that maybe high school should be handled online.
Okay, bad idea. Just a thought.
I get poked, then I get comments from people I've never met, then people mock me for commenting TOO MUCH (apparently you can't use more than 6 words in a comment).
My kids don't understand why I am doing it at all.
Still shocked they don't have the sarcasm font figured out yet.
Betsy's older sister is extremely liberal. As in no sentient being really believes in the stuff you believe in liberal.
If you hang out with people from high school on Facebook are there still cool kids? I don't think there are, which suggests that maybe high school should be handled online.
Okay, bad idea. Just a thought.
Celebrity Doppelganger Week on Facebook
The fact that JD Salinger died the same week as Celebrity Doppelganger Week on Facebook is proof that (a) there is a God and (b) he has a sense of humor.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
A Problem That Can Be Solved
All we hear these days is that these problems our nation has don't have easy solutions, but what the speaker usually means is that he or she is too lazy to do what needs to be done. The Wall Street Journal offers a glimpse into a California problem that really impacts the whole country.
It's that last idea that intrigues me. Is a 5% pay cut that big a deal. Wouldn't you rather have a 5% pay cut than no job? But here's the rub:
Fact: every industry that is unionized is in a world of hurt. Why? Because the economics of unionization don't work anymore. Once upon a time they did. Unions got fat and powerful (Thanks FDR!) and it's obvious they have completely consumed the industries that fed them for so long (e.g.,autos, airlines, steel, government, etc.)
This has been obvious for decades, and in the end, the unions will do what they always do: screw the rank and file. The money isn't there anymore; there's no one left to extort. Union benefits are and always have been a type of Ponzi scheme, and Ponzi schemes always collapse.
Always.
So, Ahnuld, you ain't getting $6.9 B from the feds, and you need to cut your state employee wages by 10% across the board and pension benefits by 15% across the board. It's called living in the real world.
As an aside, why do government workers need a union. Unions, after all, came into being to "level the playing field" and allow workers to negotiate with management on an equal footing. Before before the NLRB and other Democrat union boosting schemes, the thought was that unions needed protection from big, bad management and the government had to step in a referee their negotiations.
But for government workers isn't the government helping to protect the workers from...the government? That makes no sense at all.
Cut them 15% across the board. What is the worst thing that can happen: the level of service goes down?
How would anyone know?
The state is in a precarious position, with a 12.3% unemployment rate (more than two points higher than the national average) and a budget $20 billion in the red (only months after the last budget fix closed a large deficit). Productive Californians are leaving for states with less-punishing regulatory and tax regimes. Yet so far there isn't a broad consensus to do much about those who have prodded the state into its current position: public employee unions that drive costs up and fight to block spending cuts.
Earlier this month, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger proposed a budget that calls for a $6.9 billion handout from Washington (unlikely to be forthcoming) and vows to protect current education funding, 40% of the state's budget. He does want to eliminate the Calworks welfare-to-work program and enact a 5% pay cut for state employees. These are reasonable ideas, but also politically unlikely.
It's that last idea that intrigues me. Is a 5% pay cut that big a deal. Wouldn't you rather have a 5% pay cut than no job? But here's the rub:
Approximately 85% of the state's 235,000 employees (not including higher education employees) are unionized. As the governor noted during his $83 billion budget roll-out, over the past decade pension costs for public employees increased 2,000%. State revenues increased only 24% over the same period. A Schwarzenegger adviser wrote in the San Jose Mercury News in the past few days that, "This year alone, $3 billion was diverted to pension costs from other programs." There are now more than 15,000 government retirees statewide who receive pensions that exceed $100,000 a year, according to the California Foundation for Fiscal Responsibility.
Many of these retirees are former police officers, firefighters, and prison guards who can retire at age 50 with a pension that equals 90% of their final year's pay. The pensions for these (and all other retirees) increase each year with inflation and are guaranteed by taxpayers forever—regardless of what happens in the economy or whether the state's pensions funds have been fully funded (which they haven't been).
A 2008 state commission pegged California's unfunded pension liability at $63.5 billion, which will be amortized over several decades. That liability, released before the precipitous drop in stock-market and real-estate values, certainly will soar.
Fact: every industry that is unionized is in a world of hurt. Why? Because the economics of unionization don't work anymore. Once upon a time they did. Unions got fat and powerful (Thanks FDR!) and it's obvious they have completely consumed the industries that fed them for so long (e.g.,autos, airlines, steel, government, etc.)
This has been obvious for decades, and in the end, the unions will do what they always do: screw the rank and file. The money isn't there anymore; there's no one left to extort. Union benefits are and always have been a type of Ponzi scheme, and Ponzi schemes always collapse.
Always.
So, Ahnuld, you ain't getting $6.9 B from the feds, and you need to cut your state employee wages by 10% across the board and pension benefits by 15% across the board. It's called living in the real world.
As an aside, why do government workers need a union. Unions, after all, came into being to "level the playing field" and allow workers to negotiate with management on an equal footing. Before before the NLRB and other Democrat union boosting schemes, the thought was that unions needed protection from big, bad management and the government had to step in a referee their negotiations.
But for government workers isn't the government helping to protect the workers from...the government? That makes no sense at all.
Cut them 15% across the board. What is the worst thing that can happen: the level of service goes down?
How would anyone know?
Friday, January 22, 2010
That Really Had To Hurt
Turn down the sound and prepare to wince. I am pretty sure the old "no one was injured in the making of this video" line does not apply.
I also can't believe this video does not include either the health care bill or the Massachusetts senatorial election.
I also can't believe this video does not include either the health care bill or the Massachusetts senatorial election.
Best Fails of 2009 - watch more funny videos
Who Said It?
“We’ve got to eliminate programs that don’t work, and we’ve got to make sure that the programs that we do have are more efficient and cost less.”
Give up?
Yup, that was Barack F. Obama.
Guess he needs to take a look at Head Start. Although my son says I can't say it, this is an epic fail kind of deal.
Head Start is one of those liberal darling programs. It's really hard to be against a program that tries to help improve the education of disadvantaged kids. On paper it makes some degree of sense.
Just one little problem: IT DOESN'T WORK.
This is typical of most (indeed, arguably ALL) liberal programs - they are well-intentioned efforts to fix a recognized societal problem. Head Start didn't make things worse, at least. That's normally what happens.
This report should kill Head Start, because after 40 years it's obvious it doesn't work. But it won't.
The same analysis applies to Medicare. Time to start over.
Give up?
Yup, that was Barack F. Obama.
Guess he needs to take a look at Head Start. Although my son says I can't say it, this is an epic fail kind of deal.
Head Start is one of those liberal darling programs. It's really hard to be against a program that tries to help improve the education of disadvantaged kids. On paper it makes some degree of sense.
Just one little problem: IT DOESN'T WORK.
This is typical of most (indeed, arguably ALL) liberal programs - they are well-intentioned efforts to fix a recognized societal problem. Head Start didn't make things worse, at least. That's normally what happens.
This report should kill Head Start, because after 40 years it's obvious it doesn't work. But it won't.
The same analysis applies to Medicare. Time to start over.
It's Been a Political Week
Okay, to recap:
Massachusetts elects a Republican to fill Ted Freaking Kennedy's Senate seat.
The top secret, no one knows what is in it, doesn't really accomplish much but costs a bundle Health Care Reform Bill dies an ignominious death.
Air America crashes and burns. Finally.
Martini, anyone?
Then there is this:
Gays support Obama, who immediately bones them (this is the theme of his first year in office). Cindy McCain steps up does and ad that openly supports of the kind of stuff gays most want from government: equal treatments and respect.
Now I think reasonable people can disagree on these so-called gay issues in good faith. I think it is better to win hearts and minds over time and win at the ballot box than to get courts to fix a perceived problem. I think in the long run gays will get most of what they want (although maybe not in exactly the form they want) because I think most Americans are good, decent people who believe everyone deserves a fair shake.
I don't care if someone is gay; why should I? All I care about is if they are a good person. I think most people feel this way because it's the American Way.
Massachusetts elects a Republican to fill Ted Freaking Kennedy's Senate seat.
The top secret, no one knows what is in it, doesn't really accomplish much but costs a bundle Health Care Reform Bill dies an ignominious death.
Air America crashes and burns. Finally.
Martini, anyone?
Then there is this:
Gays support Obama, who immediately bones them (this is the theme of his first year in office). Cindy McCain steps up does and ad that openly supports of the kind of stuff gays most want from government: equal treatments and respect.
Now I think reasonable people can disagree on these so-called gay issues in good faith. I think it is better to win hearts and minds over time and win at the ballot box than to get courts to fix a perceived problem. I think in the long run gays will get most of what they want (although maybe not in exactly the form they want) because I think most Americans are good, decent people who believe everyone deserves a fair shake.
I don't care if someone is gay; why should I? All I care about is if they are a good person. I think most people feel this way because it's the American Way.
Schadenfreude!
Air America is finally out of business for good.
To be honest, I think we are better served if there is more than just conservative talk radio out there. But I think this proves two things: (1) there is NO market for the ideas of the far left, which has been intellectually and morally bankrupt for about 50 years and (2) there is a market for ideas on the right (but not so much the far right) because most of the ideas - not all, but most - are close enough to the center that a large number of people agree with them in whole or in part.
To be honest, I think we are better served if there is more than just conservative talk radio out there. But I think this proves two things: (1) there is NO market for the ideas of the far left, which has been intellectually and morally bankrupt for about 50 years and (2) there is a market for ideas on the right (but not so much the far right) because most of the ideas - not all, but most - are close enough to the center that a large number of people agree with them in whole or in part.
Message to Republicans
Dudes,
Just because you've been winning some big elections doesn't mean America suddenly likes or trusts you. It's more a function of the fact that the Democratic Party leadership have proven themselves to be total douches, kind of like you guys did when you were in charge a few years back.
So don't start celebrating...we still hate you guys, too!
There are problems, real problems, facing this country. They have solutions. These solutions aren't perfect and you'll both have to compromise, but it can be done.
So the moral of this story: don't be a douche. I know it's hard for you guys, but give it a try.
And get the hell out of Afghanistan and Iraq. I don't know what the difference is between winning and losing in either place, so why keep spending money we don't have? That's what a douche would do.
Just because you've been winning some big elections doesn't mean America suddenly likes or trusts you. It's more a function of the fact that the Democratic Party leadership have proven themselves to be total douches, kind of like you guys did when you were in charge a few years back.
So don't start celebrating...we still hate you guys, too!
There are problems, real problems, facing this country. They have solutions. These solutions aren't perfect and you'll both have to compromise, but it can be done.
So the moral of this story: don't be a douche. I know it's hard for you guys, but give it a try.
And get the hell out of Afghanistan and Iraq. I don't know what the difference is between winning and losing in either place, so why keep spending money we don't have? That's what a douche would do.
A Short Trip Back to the 1980s
The girl in this video is Scott Brown's wife, circa 1984. The song sucks, but I am in no way offended that she once wore a bikini in a music video. Nor am I offended that he posed nude for Cosmo. Yet someone thinks I should be.
Suffering succotash! I don't care too much what someone did in their youth so long as it was not illegal, and even then I'd cut most folks some slack depending on what the offense was. If they were just hurting themselves (e.g., drug use), do I really care? No. What you did 20-30 years ago will, in most cases, have very little to do with who you are today.
Do I care that Teddy Kennedy was a drunken, cheating philanderer in his youth? No. I care that he was a drunken, cheating philanderer while he was a U.S. Senator.
And I do care if someone used to be, say, a card carrying commie AND THEY STILL THINK THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Or if they used to blow stuff up and kill people as a sign of protest and THEY STILL THINK THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
These examples, of course, identify a few current and former members of the Obama Administration or close friends of the Pres. Now that bothers me.
Monday, January 18, 2010
I Have No Idea
Rarely has the phrase" Hey you! Out of the gene pool" been more apropos. This guy has FUTURE POSTAL WORKER written all over him.
Golden Globes Last Night
I know what you are thinking: WHO GIVES A *&^%? I agree, but I feel compelled to comment on all awards shows.
First, Jeff Bridges won. Finally. One of my all time favorite actors. A truly nice guy, consummate professional, and, among the rarest of all things in Hollywood, a genuine, decent, family man. Jeff Bridges is awesome. Enough said.
Second, can you beat the excitement every year of waiting to see if Meryl Streep would beat out Meryl Streep. I mean, I am glad Meryl Streep won for Julia and Julia or whatever it was called because Besty really liked it, but I was also disappointed for Meryl Streep because she lost for It's Complicated, which just came out and no one has seen yet.
Third, Monique. Just because you were in BeerFest only gets you so far. Shave your damn legs!
I love it when the fashion experts conclude that Heidi Klum, Halle Berry, Olivia Wilde or Penelope Cruz look fabulous. Duh! Helen Keller could see that. I don't give a damn if these losers like their dress or not.
Penelope Cruz got a C+. I don't even know who this other chick is (BUT HER SLIP IS SHOWING), but she is no Penelope Cruz and she got a B+. So STFU.
Finally, I was very happy it rained. Because California needs the rain. Also because these pinheads all need to be taken down a notch. Attending the Golden Freaking Globes is not the same as actually helping out with the relief efforts in Haiti, even though most of the attendees seemed to think so. Led of course by George Clooney. Can't wait for his Haiti Telethon! I wish he had gotten his head blown off by Brad Pitt in Burn After Reading rather than vice versa. And if you haven't seen it yet THAT DOES NOT REALLY HAPPEN IN THE MOVIE.
And before I forget, enough with the ribbons. Who designs these things? I am going to start wearing ribbons so people will ask me what they are for and I'll tell them some compelling story about pre-teens who are too poor to buy a ticket to see Twilight or New Moon and then I'll sell a million of them and take a year off from work.
Matt Damon put ina plug for UNICEF. Matt Damon, another mega douche. I'd rather burn my money than to see a single penny pass thru the hands of the UN. Guaranteed not one penny makes it to Haiti.
First, Jeff Bridges won. Finally. One of my all time favorite actors. A truly nice guy, consummate professional, and, among the rarest of all things in Hollywood, a genuine, decent, family man. Jeff Bridges is awesome. Enough said.
Second, can you beat the excitement every year of waiting to see if Meryl Streep would beat out Meryl Streep. I mean, I am glad Meryl Streep won for Julia and Julia or whatever it was called because Besty really liked it, but I was also disappointed for Meryl Streep because she lost for It's Complicated, which just came out and no one has seen yet.
Third, Monique. Just because you were in BeerFest only gets you so far. Shave your damn legs!
I love it when the fashion experts conclude that Heidi Klum, Halle Berry, Olivia Wilde or Penelope Cruz look fabulous. Duh! Helen Keller could see that. I don't give a damn if these losers like their dress or not.
Penelope Cruz got a C+. I don't even know who this other chick is (BUT HER SLIP IS SHOWING), but she is no Penelope Cruz and she got a B+. So STFU.
Finally, I was very happy it rained. Because California needs the rain. Also because these pinheads all need to be taken down a notch. Attending the Golden Freaking Globes is not the same as actually helping out with the relief efforts in Haiti, even though most of the attendees seemed to think so. Led of course by George Clooney. Can't wait for his Haiti Telethon! I wish he had gotten his head blown off by Brad Pitt in Burn After Reading rather than vice versa. And if you haven't seen it yet THAT DOES NOT REALLY HAPPEN IN THE MOVIE.
And before I forget, enough with the ribbons. Who designs these things? I am going to start wearing ribbons so people will ask me what they are for and I'll tell them some compelling story about pre-teens who are too poor to buy a ticket to see Twilight or New Moon and then I'll sell a million of them and take a year off from work.
Matt Damon put ina plug for UNICEF. Matt Damon, another mega douche. I'd rather burn my money than to see a single penny pass thru the hands of the UN. Guaranteed not one penny makes it to Haiti.
Man, where doe the time go?
Eight days since my last post. Pathetic. Not as pathetic as Lane "The Douche" Kiffin, but still pathetic.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Random Thoughts for the Day
Courtesy of Amanda Casey. Lord knows where she got them from.
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this item ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?
Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day, "Dad, what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How do I respond to that?
19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this item ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?
Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day, "Dad, what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How do I respond to that?
19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
This Week in Crapazines
Who gives a crap?
I mean really. I do not get the female obsession with crapazines like People, Us Weekly and InTouch. But it's a consumer driven society. You gotta give them what they want, even if it's total crap.
So here you go. Mariah Carey gave an acceptance speech last night at the Palm Springs International Film Festival (whatever THAT is) for her role in the movie Precious (never heard of it). She won an award. Must have been for worst actress of all time or something. Anyway, it's worth a few seconds of your time to hear her drunken babbling.
It's kind of funny. Admit it. You laughed. I know you did.
I mean really. I do not get the female obsession with crapazines like People, Us Weekly and InTouch. But it's a consumer driven society. You gotta give them what they want, even if it's total crap.
So here you go. Mariah Carey gave an acceptance speech last night at the Palm Springs International Film Festival (whatever THAT is) for her role in the movie Precious (never heard of it). She won an award. Must have been for worst actress of all time or something. Anyway, it's worth a few seconds of your time to hear her drunken babbling.
It's kind of funny. Admit it. You laughed. I know you did.
LOST Returns
February 2. The Lost Supper. Get it?
Unless that bastard Obama moves the freaking State of the Union to February 2! That will really upset me, and I am already pretty mad at him.
We gave up caring about the State of the Union address a long time ago. All that stupid clapping and watching old guys sleeping. It sucks!
Jefferson had it right, as usual. Just send a note. That's right, Jefferson didn't see the point in making a speech. And he didn't even have to worry about pre-empting LOST. Freaking genius that man was.
If I was President that's what I would do. I'd send a note that says:
Dudes. You have got to be kidding me! You are a bunch of crooks and everyone knows it. Cut the crap. Spend less money or I am going to veto your asses back to the Stone Age.
Movie Review: Inglorious Basterds
Awesome movie. YOU.MUST.SEE.IT.
A little violent, but in that uniquely Quentin Tarantino over the top style that is laced with humor in a way that makes it tolerable.
A war movie in which the good guys (Americans) win. Can't believe Hollywood made it, actually. They could make the same movie today about hunting down al Queda using the exact same tactics (which, of course, is something I strongly advocate, especially the part where we carve stuff on the foreheads of those we don't kill so we can always identify them) and it would be a cause celebre among on the Left because it shows how rotten Americans are.
I have a new found respect for Brad Pitt, who I always thought was a great supporting actor trapped in a leading man's body. He should get an Academy Award nomination. Of course, he won't.
Bastards.
Footnote: Tarantino has Knoxville ties and usually has a reference in his films to K-Town. In this flick the reference is to Maynardville. How cool is that?
Note to Self: must work on all-time favorite movie list and guilty pleasure movie list.
A little violent, but in that uniquely Quentin Tarantino over the top style that is laced with humor in a way that makes it tolerable.
A war movie in which the good guys (Americans) win. Can't believe Hollywood made it, actually. They could make the same movie today about hunting down al Queda using the exact same tactics (which, of course, is something I strongly advocate, especially the part where we carve stuff on the foreheads of those we don't kill so we can always identify them) and it would be a cause celebre among on the Left because it shows how rotten Americans are.
I have a new found respect for Brad Pitt, who I always thought was a great supporting actor trapped in a leading man's body. He should get an Academy Award nomination. Of course, he won't.
Bastards.
Footnote: Tarantino has Knoxville ties and usually has a reference in his films to K-Town. In this flick the reference is to Maynardville. How cool is that?
Note to Self: must work on all-time favorite movie list and guilty pleasure movie list.
Tax Season
"Ah, now there's the rub."
That's Coleridge. One of my favorite lines. But I digress.
Yes, tax season begins (kinda sorta) tomorrow. It's not that bad. I worry more about future tax seasons as the tax code is unquestionably going to get worse and worse and taxes more onerous. On the one hand, I should note that is good for my business. On the other hand, IT SUCKS AND IT'S BAD FOR THE COUNTRY IN A MILLION DIFFERENT WAYS.
Son of a bee sting.
We need to get rid of every SOB in Washington. 'Nuff said.
That's Coleridge. One of my favorite lines. But I digress.
Yes, tax season begins (kinda sorta) tomorrow. It's not that bad. I worry more about future tax seasons as the tax code is unquestionably going to get worse and worse and taxes more onerous. On the one hand, I should note that is good for my business. On the other hand, IT SUCKS AND IT'S BAD FOR THE COUNTRY IN A MILLION DIFFERENT WAYS.
Son of a bee sting.
We need to get rid of every SOB in Washington. 'Nuff said.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Crazy, Man. Just Crazy.
This really blows my mind.
A couple of black students sue their county school board for racial discrimination. Both are from "rural Williamsburg County, SC." Okay, it's still the deep South, stereotypes die hard, easy enough to believe that.
The you get to the kicker: the discrimination was inflicted by other black kids because the other black kids were "acting white."
So blacks can discriminate against other blacks on the basis of race.
The inmates are running the asylum. Wouldn't America be a better place today if James Earl ray had killed Jesse Jackson instead of Martin Luther King?
A couple of black students sue their county school board for racial discrimination. Both are from "rural Williamsburg County, SC." Okay, it's still the deep South, stereotypes die hard, easy enough to believe that.
The you get to the kicker: the discrimination was inflicted by other black kids because the other black kids were "acting white."
So blacks can discriminate against other blacks on the basis of race.
"You have a culture where to act like you want to do well in school is considered acting white. And that is part of why we're saying that it was racial, even though the students were all of the same race because they weren't acting how the others thought they should be acting as members of that race," Kobrovsky said.
The inmates are running the asylum. Wouldn't America be a better place today if James Earl ray had killed Jesse Jackson instead of Martin Luther King?
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
The Govenator Needs Help
Not surprised to read that Colleyfornya is going to ask for a bailout.
My suggestion for the government response?
Besides, Ahnuld, if we help you out this time we know that YOU'LL BE BACCCKKK.
My suggestion for the government response?
Besides, Ahnuld, if we help you out this time we know that YOU'LL BE BACCCKKK.
Obama Warns Us (Again) Not To Be Intolerant
What a great President!
In the wake of the attempted Christmas Day bombing of Northwest Airlines flight 253, President Obama, in a news conference from the Pacific White House in Hawaii, on Monday cautioned Americans to avoid “lashing out against folks in puffy underpants.”
Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, 23, the son of a wealthy Nigerian banker, faces charges of attempting to destroy an airliner by detonating a high explosive sewn into what the FBI described as “boxers or briefs … but clearly not adult incontinence undergarments.”
Now this is funny:
Only one carry on? No electronics for the first hour of flight? I wish that, just once, some terrorist would try something that you can only foil by upgrading the passengers to first class and giving them free drinks.
Gitmo, Schmitmo
Gee whiz. You mean the guys in Gitmo that the lefties wanted released really were bad guys?
Damn that George Bush! Sure glad we have Barack now! He won't be so soft on the bastards...
Some day we'll wake up realize that we are at war with radical Islam. Maybe we'll even realize that war sucks. A lot of people get killed, some of whom will be innocent, no matter how "surgical you try to be.
But I doubt it. If you want to win a war, you have to reconcile yourself with this fact: the wars of the past were fought with soldiers. The wars of today (well, pretty much every war since Vietnam) are fought by soldiers who battle against those who wear no uniforms and act in complete and utter disregard for the law of war. They are vermin.
You cannot fight them on conventional terms.
If you have rats or roaches in your house you can try a surgical, one rat or roach at a time, approach. It might work sometimes, especially if there are few rats or roaches. Or you can go Armageddon on them and try to obliterate them all. If the latter you are likely to kill things you'd rather not, but you are also more likely to be successful.
So when Abdul and Mohammad - known bad guys - hide out in a village, you can try a house to house search. It'll work sometimes; you might find them.
Or you can destroy the whole village. It works every time.
It's a terrible approach, of course, except for the fact that it works. And if the bad guys don't play by the rules we don't have many meaningful options, do we?
Think I am being too harsh? Many people do; I get that. But let me throw a little history at you: Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Dresden, Tokyo. We weren't even fighting soldiers in these instances - we just wanted to break the back of the enemy.
And we did.
That's why they call it war.
That's why Sherman observed that "War is Hell." After he burned Atlanta to the ground.
It's the only way to fight a war too - brutal, bloody, violent. Enough with the candy ass approach. It doesn't work - it never has and it never will.
Damn that George Bush! Sure glad we have Barack now! He won't be so soft on the bastards...
Some day we'll wake up realize that we are at war with radical Islam. Maybe we'll even realize that war sucks. A lot of people get killed, some of whom will be innocent, no matter how "surgical you try to be.
But I doubt it. If you want to win a war, you have to reconcile yourself with this fact: the wars of the past were fought with soldiers. The wars of today (well, pretty much every war since Vietnam) are fought by soldiers who battle against those who wear no uniforms and act in complete and utter disregard for the law of war. They are vermin.
You cannot fight them on conventional terms.
If you have rats or roaches in your house you can try a surgical, one rat or roach at a time, approach. It might work sometimes, especially if there are few rats or roaches. Or you can go Armageddon on them and try to obliterate them all. If the latter you are likely to kill things you'd rather not, but you are also more likely to be successful.
So when Abdul and Mohammad - known bad guys - hide out in a village, you can try a house to house search. It'll work sometimes; you might find them.
Or you can destroy the whole village. It works every time.
It's a terrible approach, of course, except for the fact that it works. And if the bad guys don't play by the rules we don't have many meaningful options, do we?
Think I am being too harsh? Many people do; I get that. But let me throw a little history at you: Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Dresden, Tokyo. We weren't even fighting soldiers in these instances - we just wanted to break the back of the enemy.
And we did.
That's why they call it war.
That's why Sherman observed that "War is Hell." After he burned Atlanta to the ground.
It's the only way to fight a war too - brutal, bloody, violent. Enough with the candy ass approach. It doesn't work - it never has and it never will.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Hillary..a Commie? So says the Washington Post
I am not making this up.
[Secretary of State Clinton] offered an innovation: The Obama administration, she said, would “see human rights in a broad context,” in which “oppression of want — want of food, want of health, want of education, and want of equality in law and in fact” — would be addressed alongside the oppression of tyranny and torture. “That is why,” Ms. Clinton said, “the cornerstones of our 21st-century human rights agenda” would be “supporting democracy” and “fostering development.”
This is indeed an important change in U.S. human rights policy — but the idea behind it is pure 20th century. Ms. Clinton’s lumping of economic and social “rights” with political and personal freedom was a standard doctrine of the Soviet Bloc, which used to argue at every East-West conference that human rights in Czechoslovakia were superior to those in the United States, because one provided government health care that the other lacked. In fact, as U.S. diplomats used to tirelessly respond, rights of liberty — for free expression and religion, for example — are unique in that they are both natural and universal; they will exist so long as governments do not suppress them. Health care, shelter and education are desirable social services, but they depend on resources that governments may or may not possess. These are fundamentally different goods, and one cannot substitute for another.
Liberalism didn't used to be so closely aligned with the "Soviet Bloc." It is now. Too bad, as they have some good ideas. Not many, but a few. But Obama moves us closer to facism every day in ways little and not so little.
[Secretary of State Clinton] offered an innovation: The Obama administration, she said, would “see human rights in a broad context,” in which “oppression of want — want of food, want of health, want of education, and want of equality in law and in fact” — would be addressed alongside the oppression of tyranny and torture. “That is why,” Ms. Clinton said, “the cornerstones of our 21st-century human rights agenda” would be “supporting democracy” and “fostering development.”
This is indeed an important change in U.S. human rights policy — but the idea behind it is pure 20th century. Ms. Clinton’s lumping of economic and social “rights” with political and personal freedom was a standard doctrine of the Soviet Bloc, which used to argue at every East-West conference that human rights in Czechoslovakia were superior to those in the United States, because one provided government health care that the other lacked. In fact, as U.S. diplomats used to tirelessly respond, rights of liberty — for free expression and religion, for example — are unique in that they are both natural and universal; they will exist so long as governments do not suppress them. Health care, shelter and education are desirable social services, but they depend on resources that governments may or may not possess. These are fundamentally different goods, and one cannot substitute for another.
Liberalism didn't used to be so closely aligned with the "Soviet Bloc." It is now. Too bad, as they have some good ideas. Not many, but a few. But Obama moves us closer to facism every day in ways little and not so little.
I Hate the TSA, but then...Doesn't Everyone?
The TSA makes Gomer Pyle look like Einstein. Yet another reason why Obamacare would suck in every way imaginable. Another screw-up, so the TSA comes down with some new air travel restrictions after being outwitted by yet another retarded Muslim terrorist.
Go to hell. Go directly to hell. Do not pass go.
I already get the body cavity search because I have an artificial hip and set off all the alarms. This will make flying even better. I hate the [insert expletive TSA. I'd almost prefer they take out another plane and then we'd just nuke Pakistan, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan...you get the picture.
Other thoughts: BAN ALL MUSLIM MALES BETWEEN THE AGES OF 18-35. Not a perfect system, either, but it can't be worse and it might be better. I know it will make your travel experience better.
Seriously, though, you should read this.
Go to hell. Go directly to hell. Do not pass go.
I already get the body cavity search because I have an artificial hip and set off all the alarms. This will make flying even better. I hate the [insert expletive TSA. I'd almost prefer they take out another plane and then we'd just nuke Pakistan, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan...you get the picture.
Other thoughts: BAN ALL MUSLIM MALES BETWEEN THE AGES OF 18-35. Not a perfect system, either, but it can't be worse and it might be better. I know it will make your travel experience better.
Seriously, though, you should read this.
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY
Transportation Security Administration
Aviation Security Directive
Subject: Security Directive
Number: SD 1544-09-06
Date: December 25, 2009
EXPIRATION: 0200Z on December 30, 2009
This Security Directive (SD) must be implemented immediately. The measures contained in this SD are in addition to all other SDs currently in effect for your operations.
INFORMATION: On December 25, 2009, a terrorist attack was attempted against a flight traveling to the United States. TSA has identified security measures to be implemented by airports, aircraft operators, and foreign air carriers to mitigate potential threats to flights.
APPLICABILITY: THIS SD APPLIES TO AIRCRAFT OPERATORS THAT CARRY OUT A SECURITY PROGRAM REGULATED UNDER 49 CODE OF FEDERAL REGULATIONS (CFR)1544.101(a).
ACTIONS REQUIRED: If you conduct scheduled and/or public charter flight operations under a Full Program under 49 CFR 1544.101(a) departing from any foreign location to the United States (including its territories and possessions), you must immediately implement all measures in this SD for each such flight.
1. BOARDING GATE
1. The aircraft operator or authorized air carrier representative must ensure all passengers are screened at the boarding gate during the boarding process using the following procedures. These procedures are in addition to the screening of all passengers at the screening checkpoint.
1. Perform thorough pat-down of all passengers at boarding gate prior to boarding, concentrating on upper legs and torso.
2. Physically inspect 100 percent of all passenger accessible property at the boarding gate prior to boarding, with focus on syringes being transported along with powders and/or liquids.
3. Ensure the liquids, aerosols, and gels restrictions are strictly adhered to in accordance with SD 1544–06-02E.
2. During the boarding process, the air carrier may exempt passengers who are Heads of State or Heads of Government from the measures outlined in Section I.A. of this SD, including the following who are traveling with the Head of State or Head of Government:
1. Spouse and children, or
2. One other individual (chosen by the Head of State or Head of Government)
3. For the purposes of Section I.B., the following definitions apply:
1. Head of State: An individual serving as the chief public representative of a monarchic or republican nation-state, federation, commonwealth, or any other political state (for example, King, Queen, and President).
2. Head of Government: The chief officer of the executive branch of a government presiding over a cabinet (for example, Prime Minister, Premier, President, and Monarch).
2. IN FLIGHT
1. During flight, the aircraft operator must ensure that the following procedures are followed:
1. Passengers must remain in seats beginning 1 hour prior to arrival at destination.
2. Passenger access to carry-on baggage is prohibited beginning 1 hour prior to arrival at destination.
3. Disable aircraft-integrated passenger communications systems and services (phone, internet access services, live television programming, global positioning systems) prior to boarding and during all phases of flight.
4. While over U.S. airspace, flight crew may not make any announcement to passengers concerning flight path or position over cities or landmarks.
5. Passengers may not have any blankets, pillows, or personal belongings on the lap beginning 1 hour prior to arrival at destination.
Now THAT is Funny!
From the Wall Street Journal, the Top 10 Worst Technology Predictions of all time:
Besty is really interested in personal aircraft so she can get around quicker and won't have to give the finger to so many incompetent drivers.
"The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys," Sir William Preece, chief engineer at the British Post Office, 1878.
"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" H.M. Warner, Warner Bros., 1927.
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers," Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.
"Television won't be able to hold on to any market it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night," Darryl Zanuck, 20th Century Fox, 1946.
"The world potential market for copying machines is 5,000 at most," IBM executives to the eventual founders of Xerox, 1959.
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home," Ken Olsen, founder of mainframe-producer Digital Equipment Corp., 1977.
"No one will need more than 637 kb of memory for a personal computer—640K ought to be enough for anybody," Bill Gates, Microsoft, 1981.
"Next Christmas the iPod will be dead, finished, gone, kaput," Sir Alan Sugar, British entrepreneur, 2005.
Besty is really interested in personal aircraft so she can get around quicker and won't have to give the finger to so many incompetent drivers.
Moe, Larry, Curly and Homeland Security
I am not making this up.
These clips would be hilarious if not for the fact that this woman is in charge of Homeland Security, Immigration and a bunch of other important stuff. I don’t think she could match wits with a Kardashian.
Interview 1: Sunday
Interview 2: This Morning. Clearly her observation that “the system worked” from the first interview was taken out of context. Uh, except when she admits that “the system failed horribly.”
These clips would be hilarious if not for the fact that this woman is in charge of Homeland Security, Immigration and a bunch of other important stuff. I don’t think she could match wits with a Kardashian.
Interview 1: Sunday
Interview 2: This Morning. Clearly her observation that “the system worked” from the first interview was taken out of context. Uh, except when she admits that “the system failed horribly.”
Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
Monday, December 21, 2009
UP
Normally I wouldn't post something like this, but damn it, it's the truth. I could have embedded the video, but you need to be reading more.
If you see injustice, STAND UP
If something needs to be said, SPEAK UP
If you make an appointment, SHOW UP
If you make a mistake, FESS UP
If you’re overstepping, BACK UP
If you get behind, CATCH UP
If they knock you down, GET UP
If you’re out of line, STRAIGHTEN UP
When your boss instructs, KEEP UP
When your elders speak, LISTEN UP
When your teachers teach, SIT UP
When your preachers preach, WAKE UP
When your country calls, MAN UP
Ladies too... WOMAN UP
When the fight is over, MAKE UP
If you’re being hard, EASE UP
If your heart is closed, OPEN UP
If you want to buy something, SAVE UP--
It’s not an entitlement, so SHUT UP!
If you make a mess, CLEAN IT UP
If you drop trash, PICK IT UP
If a car is waiting for you to
walk across the street, SPEED IT UP
If you’re cold busted, GIVE IT UP
If people fall down, HELP THEM UP--
Not the government, YOU STEP UP
If idiots start fighting, BREAK IT UP
If the music is wholesome, TURN IT UP
If the message is poisonous, THROW IT UP
If your words are vulgar, CLAM IT UP
If your words encourage, KEEP IT UP
If your pants are baggy, PULL THEM UP
If the belt’s too loose, CINCH IT UP
If your fly is down, ZIP IT UP
If you’re dressed half naked, COVER IT UP
If you can’t afford stuff, PASS IT UP--
No “bailouts” folks, PONY UP
If you made a promise, you BACK IT UP
And you can take your whining and PACK IT UP
It’s called personal responsibility, so TAKE IT UP
This country was founded on it, you can LOOK IT UP
It’s the American way people, so TURN IT UP
Because when life gets boring, you SHAKE IT UP
When life is good, you SOAK IT UP
When life’s unfair, you SUCK IT UP
When life is funny, you can YUCK IT UP
When life is sad, just LOOK STRAIGHT UP
And life’s too short people, so LIVE IT UP!
My only complaint would be along the lines of:
If your name is Barack Obama, SHUT THE F*&^ UP.
If you see injustice, STAND UP
If something needs to be said, SPEAK UP
If you make an appointment, SHOW UP
If you make a mistake, FESS UP
If you’re overstepping, BACK UP
If you get behind, CATCH UP
If they knock you down, GET UP
If you’re out of line, STRAIGHTEN UP
When your boss instructs, KEEP UP
When your elders speak, LISTEN UP
When your teachers teach, SIT UP
When your preachers preach, WAKE UP
When your country calls, MAN UP
Ladies too... WOMAN UP
When the fight is over, MAKE UP
If you’re being hard, EASE UP
If your heart is closed, OPEN UP
If you want to buy something, SAVE UP--
It’s not an entitlement, so SHUT UP!
If you make a mess, CLEAN IT UP
If you drop trash, PICK IT UP
If a car is waiting for you to
walk across the street, SPEED IT UP
If you’re cold busted, GIVE IT UP
If people fall down, HELP THEM UP--
Not the government, YOU STEP UP
If idiots start fighting, BREAK IT UP
If the music is wholesome, TURN IT UP
If the message is poisonous, THROW IT UP
If your words are vulgar, CLAM IT UP
If your words encourage, KEEP IT UP
If your pants are baggy, PULL THEM UP
If the belt’s too loose, CINCH IT UP
If your fly is down, ZIP IT UP
If you’re dressed half naked, COVER IT UP
If you can’t afford stuff, PASS IT UP--
No “bailouts” folks, PONY UP
If you made a promise, you BACK IT UP
And you can take your whining and PACK IT UP
It’s called personal responsibility, so TAKE IT UP
This country was founded on it, you can LOOK IT UP
It’s the American way people, so TURN IT UP
Because when life gets boring, you SHAKE IT UP
When life is good, you SOAK IT UP
When life’s unfair, you SUCK IT UP
When life is funny, you can YUCK IT UP
When life is sad, just LOOK STRAIGHT UP
And life’s too short people, so LIVE IT UP!
My only complaint would be along the lines of:
If your name is Barack Obama, SHUT THE F*&^ UP.
Health Care Reform
Let's assume for a second that there is a shred of evidence to suggest that a health care system with a substantial government component has merit to it.
For the record, I do support some health care reform. Of course, What I support has nothing in common with what the Dems in Congress have produced.
Let's assume further that the Government can do things cheaper and better (or at least as good as) than private entrepreneurs, without sacrificing the quality.
You with me? Let's go further and presume that Government can establish statutory wage limits for its executives that prevent the bloated salaries, super bonuses, perqs, and other sweetheart arrangements (like health insurance) that are part and parcel of the private entrepreneurial system.
Why in the world would we stop with the health care industry?
I mean, if Government could do those things, what's the downside?
WHAT? Are you implying that Government can't do those things?
Reality is a bitch, ain't it?
For the record, I do support some health care reform. Of course, What I support has nothing in common with what the Dems in Congress have produced.
Let's assume further that the Government can do things cheaper and better (or at least as good as) than private entrepreneurs, without sacrificing the quality.
You with me? Let's go further and presume that Government can establish statutory wage limits for its executives that prevent the bloated salaries, super bonuses, perqs, and other sweetheart arrangements (like health insurance) that are part and parcel of the private entrepreneurial system.
Why in the world would we stop with the health care industry?
I mean, if Government could do those things, what's the downside?
WHAT? Are you implying that Government can't do those things?
Reality is a bitch, ain't it?
B+
You probably saw that Obama was asked how he would rate his first year in office. His response, "A nice, solid B+."
I have several explanations for this answer.
(a) He's smoking crack (again.)
No. I guess I only have one explanation. Anyway, along the same lines, I cam across this: Other Things That Would rate a B+ on the Obama Grading Scale
I have several explanations for this answer.
(a) He's smoking crack (again.)
No. I guess I only have one explanation. Anyway, along the same lines, I cam across this: Other Things That Would rate a B+ on the Obama Grading Scale
Tiger had rated his marriage so far a B+.
Charles Manson’s efforts on reforming… hmm… I’d say that’s a solid B+.
Landing of the Hindenburg is a good, solid B+. A- if it were on time.
Hitler’s relationship with the Jews: B+.
My avoiding Godwin’s Law: B+.
D’oh! Accidentally burnt down the house! Now my home owner’s insurance is going to rate me a B+.
As an apostle, I rate Judas a B+.
Somali pirates’ efforts at defending against Navy SEALs: B+
Rubber is rated a B+ on the electrical conductivity scale.
Current newspaper subscription levels: B+
The show Heroes since the first season: B+
“I don’t know how to tell you this… Let’s just say your body’s ability to fight cancer is a solid B+.”
My wife rated my sexual prowess a B+!
Rosie O’Donnell’s knowledge of materials engineering: B+
“I’m real sorry, Dad, but your car… well, its condition is now a B+.”
A nuclear bomb reduces everything within a few miles to B+ conditions.
Bumblebees: B+
Rabies cure for Old Yeller: B+
The faithful get eternal life in Heaven. Everyone else gets a B+.
“The terrorists say if we don’t soon meet their demands, the situation will become B+.”
New western coming out: “The Quick and the B+”
Darth Vader rated his relationship with his children a B+.
Need to let the dog out so she can do a B+.
* * * *
B+ — it’s the new FAIL. What do you rate a B+?
Christmas Shopping
Took the Samster shopping today.
Son of a bee sting...the traffic takes all the fun out of it. But I kept my finger holstered. Sure, a choice word escaped my lips every now and then, but otherwise it was all good.
First stop was Guitar Center. Even though I know nothing about the place or music in general, I must say that everyone that works there is really nice and very helpful. I think Guitar Center employees should be in charge of teaching other retail clerks who they are supposed to do their jobs.
The converstaion bewteen Sam and this nice kid, Andrew, went something like this:
Sam: Dude.
Andrew: Duuude.
Sam: I am looking for BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH WITH A BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH AND BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Andrew: Awesome, man! What do you like to play?
Sam: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
Andrew: Dude, that is totally rad. Do you like BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ?
Sam: Sure. I mean, who doesn't? But I am more into BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH right now.
Andrew: 'kay. Let's start you out with this BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH $499.
Me: What?
Andrew: Is that too much?
Me: I can't hear you over the sound of heart pounding.
But we ended up getting a nice amp. Well, I think it's nice. Sam likes it, and that's what really matters. I know it was expensive.
But you can't take it with you, right?
Son of a bee sting...the traffic takes all the fun out of it. But I kept my finger holstered. Sure, a choice word escaped my lips every now and then, but otherwise it was all good.
First stop was Guitar Center. Even though I know nothing about the place or music in general, I must say that everyone that works there is really nice and very helpful. I think Guitar Center employees should be in charge of teaching other retail clerks who they are supposed to do their jobs.
The converstaion bewteen Sam and this nice kid, Andrew, went something like this:
Sam: Dude.
Andrew: Duuude.
Sam: I am looking for BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH WITH A BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH AND BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Andrew: Awesome, man! What do you like to play?
Sam: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
Andrew: Dude, that is totally rad. Do you like BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ?
Sam: Sure. I mean, who doesn't? But I am more into BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH right now.
Andrew: 'kay. Let's start you out with this BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH $499.
Me: What?
Andrew: Is that too much?
Me: I can't hear you over the sound of heart pounding.
But we ended up getting a nice amp. Well, I think it's nice. Sam likes it, and that's what really matters. I know it was expensive.
But you can't take it with you, right?
Ted Kennedy is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself
Seriously, though...I feel fine.
I just can't resist any opportunity to knock Fat Ted.
In fact, when I first heard about this new TV show, GLEE, back in the fall, I thought it was a reference to his death.
Now I must focus my evil powers on that rat bastard, KKK-loving, never worked an honest day in his life, has done more to ruin this country than almost anyone in history (but only because he has lived so long): Robert Byrd.
One at a time, baby. One at a time.
I just can't resist any opportunity to knock Fat Ted.
In fact, when I first heard about this new TV show, GLEE, back in the fall, I thought it was a reference to his death.
Now I must focus my evil powers on that rat bastard, KKK-loving, never worked an honest day in his life, has done more to ruin this country than almost anyone in history (but only because he has lived so long): Robert Byrd.
One at a time, baby. One at a time.
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