Eating healthy can be an eating disorder?
I am a big believer that there can always be too much of a good thing, but don't we have enough to worry about.
I'd like to commission a study on stupid medical news and studies. Then I'd like to have a few beers.
And some bacon.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Previously...on LOST
Not really.
But I did come across something that I found to be very interesting. And it's from Wikipedia, so it has to be good. It has to do with Edgar Cayce.
For those unfamiliar with Cayce (March 18, 1877 – January 3, 1945) (pronounced Casey) he was an American psychic (or not, if you don't believe psychics exist) who was quite famous in his day. There are more than 300 books written about Cayce, and there still exists today an organization he founded known as the Association for Research and Enlightenment. The most famous book on Cayce is one I read about thirty years ago called Many Mansions, and I highly recommend it. Cayce is arguably the seminal authority for the notion of the "collective unconscious" (a concept that might explain the whispers).
He said some wild stuff, but never seemed to take himself too seriously. He warned his more devout followers not to take everything he said on faith. Sound familiar?
Anyway, Cayce was arguably most famous for his prophecies about the lost city of Atlantis. Get it? The "Lost" city of Atlantis...an island that disappeared.
Hmmm...but wait, it gets better. While there are many, many parallels between Cayce and LOST, two jumped out at me:
Let's review:
Atlantis was divided into two factions- a "good" faction and an "evil" faction who ultimately go to war against one another. Jacob and the Man in Black? (Though I have come increasingly to believe that Jacob is really the evil one.)
Atlantis had advanced technology whose refugees peopled ancient Egypt - technology is really what brought Dharma to the island; it's what crashed the plane, in a manner of speaking. And the Egyptian connection is obvious. "Cayce purported to have been an Egyptian priest named "Ra Ta" who built a spiritually-based healing center (the "Temple of Sacrifice") and educational institution (the "Temple Beautiful")."
Some of the people alive today are the reincarnations of Atlantean souls, he believed, who must now face similar temptations as before - multiple time lines? Is this how we will come to understand Adam and Eve?
Atlantis was destroyed by the overcharging of the crystal which caused a massive explosion - is this why the island is now at the bottom of the ocean?
Cayce also mentions crystals repeatedly as an energy source unique to Atlantis. Atlanteans used the crystal "to rejuvenate their bodies and were able to live hundreds of years while maintaining a youthful appearance." Richard Alpert?
Cayce ultimately foresaw massive destruction (California falls in to the sea, Obama presidency if mankind couldn't reconcile its inherent contradictions (free will v. fate?) - perhaps this is the inspiration for the Valenzetti Equation?
Answers? Nah. There are no answers to LOST, at least not yet. But if, like me, you want to crack the mystery that is LOST, perhaps Cayce offers more insights than any other source I have discovered to date.
But I did come across something that I found to be very interesting. And it's from Wikipedia, so it has to be good. It has to do with Edgar Cayce.
For those unfamiliar with Cayce (March 18, 1877 – January 3, 1945) (pronounced Casey) he was an American psychic (or not, if you don't believe psychics exist) who was quite famous in his day. There are more than 300 books written about Cayce, and there still exists today an organization he founded known as the Association for Research and Enlightenment. The most famous book on Cayce is one I read about thirty years ago called Many Mansions, and I highly recommend it. Cayce is arguably the seminal authority for the notion of the "collective unconscious" (a concept that might explain the whispers).
He said some wild stuff, but never seemed to take himself too seriously. He warned his more devout followers not to take everything he said on faith. Sound familiar?
Anyway, Cayce was arguably most famous for his prophecies about the lost city of Atlantis. Get it? The "Lost" city of Atlantis...an island that disappeared.
Hmmm...but wait, it gets better. While there are many, many parallels between Cayce and LOST, two jumped out at me:
Atlantis: The Cayce readings spoke of the existence of Atlantis, a legendary continent with an advanced technology whose refugees peopled ancient Egypt as well as pre-Columbian America. Cayce's description of Atlantis has much in common with that of Ignatius L. Donnelly. According to Cayce, Atlantean society was divided into two long-lived political factions—a "good" faction called the "Sons of the Law of One," and an "evil" faction called the "Sons of Belial." Many people alive today are the reincarnations of Atlantean souls, he believed, who must now face similar temptations as before. It is said Atlantis suffered three major destructions, one of which was the deluge. According to the readings, a major source of turmoil was the Sons of Belial's desire to exploit the Things, sub-humans with animal appendages and low intelligence, and the movements to protect and evolve them by the Sons of the Law of One. The final destruction was the overcharging of the crystal which caused a massive explosion.
* Egypt: Next to biblical times, the most significant era for the "life readings" was a pre-dynastic Egyptian civilization consisting of Atlantean refugees. Cayce purported to have been an Egyptian priest named "Ra Ta" who built a spiritually-based healing center (the "Temple of Sacrifice") and educational institution (the "Temple Beautiful"). His diagnostic readings and narratives about the past and future were supposed to be a continuation of his ancient work. This civilization also built monuments on the Giza plateau, including the Great Pyramid, and left records of Atlantis in a "hall of records" located somewhere beneath the Great Sphinx of Giza. These readings bear a close resemblance to books by AMORC founder H. Spencer Lewis.
Let's review:
Atlantis was divided into two factions- a "good" faction and an "evil" faction who ultimately go to war against one another. Jacob and the Man in Black? (Though I have come increasingly to believe that Jacob is really the evil one.)
Atlantis had advanced technology whose refugees peopled ancient Egypt - technology is really what brought Dharma to the island; it's what crashed the plane, in a manner of speaking. And the Egyptian connection is obvious. "Cayce purported to have been an Egyptian priest named "Ra Ta" who built a spiritually-based healing center (the "Temple of Sacrifice") and educational institution (the "Temple Beautiful")."
Some of the people alive today are the reincarnations of Atlantean souls, he believed, who must now face similar temptations as before - multiple time lines? Is this how we will come to understand Adam and Eve?
Atlantis was destroyed by the overcharging of the crystal which caused a massive explosion - is this why the island is now at the bottom of the ocean?
Cayce also mentions crystals repeatedly as an energy source unique to Atlantis. Atlanteans used the crystal "to rejuvenate their bodies and were able to live hundreds of years while maintaining a youthful appearance." Richard Alpert?
Cayce ultimately foresaw massive destruction (California falls in to the sea, Obama presidency if mankind couldn't reconcile its inherent contradictions (free will v. fate?) - perhaps this is the inspiration for the Valenzetti Equation?
Answers? Nah. There are no answers to LOST, at least not yet. But if, like me, you want to crack the mystery that is LOST, perhaps Cayce offers more insights than any other source I have discovered to date.
In Which I Reveal That I am a Heartless Bastard
Last night, after a nice dinner with friends, we ran into a mutual friend - a physician - who had just returned from Haiti. His stories were, well, depressing. Apparently no matter what we are seeing on TV, he said, the reality is 100 times worse.
Our friend expressed dismay at the complete ineptitude and callowness of the UN; he was shocked that when push came to shove the institution's own image - the perception that IT was in charge - trumped any silly concerns for actual human suffering. The UN, he said, made things worse - a lot worse - and he wished they would just leave.
I, of course, was not shocked at all. The UN, though a noble concept, needs to be scrapped in its entirety and reconstituted from scratch. I will never forgive Bush for not pushing this idea through. I mean, everybody hated him already. Why not do the politically unpopular thing and just shut it down?
My wife, who is the antithesis of me, wants to adopt every Haitian under the age of 5. She is that kind of person.
I am not. I pointed out that there has been similar carnage in Turkey, Mexico, Iran and a host of other nations. Millions have been slaughtered in Africa in the last 5 years. I just don't remember the outcry.
People are people; I do care about the people. But all this relief is a good and natural human response that really just does one thing: It makes us feel better about ourselves. We aren't really saving lives in the grand scheme of things; Haiti will still be a hellhole a year and probably even ten years from now, just like Africa.
Sorry to be so negative and fatalistic, but that's the reality. I am a Hobbesian - life is nasty, brutish and short. And with institutions like the UN around it's a little bit nastier and brutish.
If we really want to solve problems we need to spend less energy on the band-aid solutions that aren't solutions at all - they just make us feel better about ourselves - and start to focus on the things that create these problems in the first instance.
No, the UN didn't cause the earthquake, but natural disasters have been and will always be with us. We have no control whatsoever over these things. And we should help; I am not saying we should walk away or do nothing. But no one is really asking the important question: why is Haiti such a hellhole? Why did everything on the island collapse? Why is there no infrastructure? Why is there no soap (yup - our friend told us that there is no water and no soap, so fighting infection is a real challenge)?
These problems caused the earthquake to be much worse than it should have been.
And take a minute to google "Jimmy Carter" and "Haiti." I find it interesting, and personally somewhat rewarding, to note the close ties between Mr. Carter and most of the hellholes on earth. Coincidence? I think not. Take any hellhole, add a dash of Jimmy Carter, and over time everything gets much worse. As in "Gasoline?" "Meet Fire."
Enough. Now back to our regular programming.
Our friend expressed dismay at the complete ineptitude and callowness of the UN; he was shocked that when push came to shove the institution's own image - the perception that IT was in charge - trumped any silly concerns for actual human suffering. The UN, he said, made things worse - a lot worse - and he wished they would just leave.
I, of course, was not shocked at all. The UN, though a noble concept, needs to be scrapped in its entirety and reconstituted from scratch. I will never forgive Bush for not pushing this idea through. I mean, everybody hated him already. Why not do the politically unpopular thing and just shut it down?
My wife, who is the antithesis of me, wants to adopt every Haitian under the age of 5. She is that kind of person.
I am not. I pointed out that there has been similar carnage in Turkey, Mexico, Iran and a host of other nations. Millions have been slaughtered in Africa in the last 5 years. I just don't remember the outcry.
People are people; I do care about the people. But all this relief is a good and natural human response that really just does one thing: It makes us feel better about ourselves. We aren't really saving lives in the grand scheme of things; Haiti will still be a hellhole a year and probably even ten years from now, just like Africa.
Sorry to be so negative and fatalistic, but that's the reality. I am a Hobbesian - life is nasty, brutish and short. And with institutions like the UN around it's a little bit nastier and brutish.
If we really want to solve problems we need to spend less energy on the band-aid solutions that aren't solutions at all - they just make us feel better about ourselves - and start to focus on the things that create these problems in the first instance.
No, the UN didn't cause the earthquake, but natural disasters have been and will always be with us. We have no control whatsoever over these things. And we should help; I am not saying we should walk away or do nothing. But no one is really asking the important question: why is Haiti such a hellhole? Why did everything on the island collapse? Why is there no infrastructure? Why is there no soap (yup - our friend told us that there is no water and no soap, so fighting infection is a real challenge)?
These problems caused the earthquake to be much worse than it should have been.
And take a minute to google "Jimmy Carter" and "Haiti." I find it interesting, and personally somewhat rewarding, to note the close ties between Mr. Carter and most of the hellholes on earth. Coincidence? I think not. Take any hellhole, add a dash of Jimmy Carter, and over time everything gets much worse. As in "Gasoline?" "Meet Fire."
Enough. Now back to our regular programming.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Another Huge Advance in Fashion
I don't know how I missed it, but there is a huge issue that 60 Minutes and the trial lawyers who advertise at 2 am completely missed: people CANNOT drink tea when they wear a blanket and pajamas to watch TV.
I never really thought of blankets as being comfortable to wear...I mean, isn't that why they came up with the Snuggie in the first place?
Those zip-on slippers are kind of awesome. Probably hot, too - but not hot as in sexy. More like "Hey, mama, my feet are sweatin'" hot.
We tend to underestimate the power of technology. But if we can use technology to create something like this then there is no telling what we can accomplish!
"Marshmallow Soft" is a new type of fleece (more technology!) and it's probably made from recycled marshmallows.
Victoria's Secret, I think you missed a real opportunity here.
Apparently what women really want to do is to wear the same pajamas they wore as children. And I know why. For years it's been "Aw, honey, I have a headache." But with the HoodieFootie they can say "Aw, honey, I'd love to! But I just put on my HoodieFootie, so, you know...."
Greece is the Word
I haven't seen much in the way of TV news lately but my sense is that the enfeebled entity we refer to as the media has overlooked this major story. Here's the deal: Greece is bankrupt. See also, Portugal, Ireland, Italy and Spain; California.
It's an increasingly common problem, but as Bob Dole once observed, I have to wonder: "Where's the outrage?"
It's not news, of course, that governments tend to be irresponsible. That's their nature, I guess. but really bad things can happen when government's are irresponsible. War, famine, genocide - these are REALLY bad things, and as I see it we are moving inexorably towards these things. Greece is the best example of how it starts and where it can lead; of course no one is paying attention. (ed. - How can we? American Idol is on!)
Here is a short article on the subject from the reactionary BBC. Go read it. I'll wait. There's even a video.
The common thread in government failure isn't the economy. Nor is it natural disasters or the weather. Those are excuses and government loves excuses it can blame its problems on. Haiti was a study in abject failure long before the earthquake.
The problem is government itself.
Government is a parasite. Does it provide necessary and vital services? Of course. I am not an anarchist. Government always grows in the name of one good cause after another until it consumes the host. Our Founding fathers understood this.
We the People? We are the host.
If we stand by and do nothing we will, eventually, die. Sounds dire, I know, but death comes in many forms. It may be a collapse of our standard of living; it may be war. But it's the path we are on in this world, no question about it.
There is no free lunch. There never was. Government, especially government workers, never understand this.
But the bill always comes due eventually.
In Greece they can't pay it. California is right around the corner - just watch.
The only option is to let them fail. As we should have done with GM and Chrysler. It will be painful, but much less painful than pretending we can fix the problem another way.
Because it can't be done - and all the wishful thinking in the world (see, well-intentioned liberals) won't change that. All the other fixes (i.e., bail-outs) are just band-aids. A band-aid will never stop gangrene from spreading.
The government in Greece - the birthplace of western democracy - is gangrene to the body politic. It must be excised, and government workers understand this:
It is a war.
I just wonder who will win.
It's an increasingly common problem, but as Bob Dole once observed, I have to wonder: "Where's the outrage?"
It's not news, of course, that governments tend to be irresponsible. That's their nature, I guess. but really bad things can happen when government's are irresponsible. War, famine, genocide - these are REALLY bad things, and as I see it we are moving inexorably towards these things. Greece is the best example of how it starts and where it can lead; of course no one is paying attention. (ed. - How can we? American Idol is on!)
Here is a short article on the subject from the reactionary BBC. Go read it. I'll wait. There's even a video.
The common thread in government failure isn't the economy. Nor is it natural disasters or the weather. Those are excuses and government loves excuses it can blame its problems on. Haiti was a study in abject failure long before the earthquake.
The problem is government itself.
Government is a parasite. Does it provide necessary and vital services? Of course. I am not an anarchist. Government always grows in the name of one good cause after another until it consumes the host. Our Founding fathers understood this.
We the People? We are the host.
If we stand by and do nothing we will, eventually, die. Sounds dire, I know, but death comes in many forms. It may be a collapse of our standard of living; it may be war. But it's the path we are on in this world, no question about it.
There is no free lunch. There never was. Government, especially government workers, never understand this.
But the bill always comes due eventually.
In Greece they can't pay it. California is right around the corner - just watch.
The only option is to let them fail. As we should have done with GM and Chrysler. It will be painful, but much less painful than pretending we can fix the problem another way.
Because it can't be done - and all the wishful thinking in the world (see, well-intentioned liberals) won't change that. All the other fixes (i.e., bail-outs) are just band-aids. A band-aid will never stop gangrene from spreading.
The government in Greece - the birthplace of western democracy - is gangrene to the body politic. It must be excised, and government workers understand this:
The unions regard the austerity programme as a declaration of war against the working and middle classes… “It’s a war against workers and we will answer with war, with constant struggles until this policy is overturned,” said Christos Katsiotis, a union member affiliated to the Communist Party, at the Athens rally.
It is a war.
I just wonder who will win.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Movie Trivia
The Top 25 films of all time, adjusted for inflation. It's in the news because Avatar just passed Titanic for the number spot on the unadjusted gross box office chart.
But, can you guess what 22 of the 25 films listed below have in common besides big box office numbers?
1. Gone With the Wind: $1,537,559,600
2. Star Wars: $1,355,490,100
3. The Sound of Music: $1,083,781,000
4. E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial: $1,079,511,500
5. The Ten Commandments: $996,910,000
6. Titanic: $976,712,20
7. Jaws: $974,679,800
8. Doctor Zhivago: $944,670,800
9. The Exorcist: $841,427,600
10. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: $829,490,000
11. 101 Dalmatians: $760,370,300
12. The Empire Strikes Back: $747,154,600
13. Ben-Hur: $745,780,000
14. Return of the Jedi: $715,792,100
15. The Sting: $678,377,100
16. Raiders of the Lost Ark: $670,759,500
17. Jurassic Park: $656,026,500
18. The Graduate: $651,198,300
19. Star Wars: Episode I -- The Phantom Menace: $645,524,400
20. Fantasia: $631,960,900
21. Avatar: $603,789,300
22. The Godfather: $600,600,700
23. Forrest Gump: $597,732,100
24. Mary Poppins: $594,963,600
25. The Lion King: $587,733,900
If you guessed that 22 of the 25 films listed were rated G, PG or PG-13, you'd be right. I still think The Hangover was hilarious, but you'd think Hollywood might figure out that there is a correlation between a movie's rating and how much money it makes.
But, can you guess what 22 of the 25 films listed below have in common besides big box office numbers?
1. Gone With the Wind: $1,537,559,600
2. Star Wars: $1,355,490,100
3. The Sound of Music: $1,083,781,000
4. E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial: $1,079,511,500
5. The Ten Commandments: $996,910,000
6. Titanic: $976,712,20
7. Jaws: $974,679,800
8. Doctor Zhivago: $944,670,800
9. The Exorcist: $841,427,600
10. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: $829,490,000
11. 101 Dalmatians: $760,370,300
12. The Empire Strikes Back: $747,154,600
13. Ben-Hur: $745,780,000
14. Return of the Jedi: $715,792,100
15. The Sting: $678,377,100
16. Raiders of the Lost Ark: $670,759,500
17. Jurassic Park: $656,026,500
18. The Graduate: $651,198,300
19. Star Wars: Episode I -- The Phantom Menace: $645,524,400
20. Fantasia: $631,960,900
21. Avatar: $603,789,300
22. The Godfather: $600,600,700
23. Forrest Gump: $597,732,100
24. Mary Poppins: $594,963,600
25. The Lion King: $587,733,900
If you guessed that 22 of the 25 films listed were rated G, PG or PG-13, you'd be right. I still think The Hangover was hilarious, but you'd think Hollywood might figure out that there is a correlation between a movie's rating and how much money it makes.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Yet Another LOST Related Post
How To Make a Sandwich on the Island from LOST:
Jack
1. Gather ingredients
2. Point gun at ingredients and shout “HOW DO I MAKE A SANDWICH OUT OF YOU?!?!?”
3. Breathe heavily through your nose as though you were about to hit ingredients
4. Give up and make the sandwich yourself, and eat it bitterly
Kate
1. Make separate sandwiches, one with peanut butter and one with jelly
2. Take a bite of the peanut butter sandwich, declaring it the best
3. Take a bite of the jelly sandwich, declaring it the best
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 ad infinitum
5. Follow peanut butter or jelly sandwich into grave danger
Sawyer
1. Throw the jar of jelly at wall, sneering “I don’t need no sandwich”
2. Call the mascot on the jar of peanut butter lots of clever nicknames
3. Huff and puff and stomp around and grumble a lot
4. When no one’s looking, make perfect, even, symmetrical peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sit in a corner, enjoying every bite
Locke
1. Sit idly by, believing that the ingredients will find a way to make a sandwich out of themselves
2. Lose faith and make the sandwich anyway
3. Realize that you were the instrument by which the ingredients chose to make a sandwich after all
4. Run around the room and grab everyone’s knives, insisting that their sandwiches will do the same in time
Hurley
1. Make sandwich
2. Eat sandwich
3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 ad infinitum
Sayid
1. Procure 23 milligrams of uranium-20
2. Set hadron supercollider to eight megajoules
3. Program a sandwich-making macro using Cobol or Visual Basic
4. Act all tough-like
Desmond
1. Eat sandwich
2. Call the sandwich “brother”
3. Place peanut butter slice over jelly slice
4. Spread jelly on the other slice
5. Spread peanut butter on one slice
6. Take two slices of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly
Ben
1. Steal someone else’s sandwich
2. Claim you coerced them into making the sandwich for you all along
3. Say you’ll tell them everything if they make you another sandwich
4. Stare at them all creepy-like
Libby
1. Lay out plans for one of the most intricate, fascinating, and delicious sandwiches of all time
2. Just as you start making it, get shot
Danielle
1. Apply peanut butter
2. Disappear for eight months
3. Apply jelly
4. Disappear for eight months
5. Eat sandwich
Claire
1. Mmmmmmm, peanut butter
Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse
1. Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
2. Have someone take a bite, then tell them it’s a baloney sandwich
3. Make up a whole bunch of other shit, then say you had planned it all along
4. Buy a few yachts
Jack
1. Gather ingredients
2. Point gun at ingredients and shout “HOW DO I MAKE A SANDWICH OUT OF YOU?!?!?”
3. Breathe heavily through your nose as though you were about to hit ingredients
4. Give up and make the sandwich yourself, and eat it bitterly
Kate
1. Make separate sandwiches, one with peanut butter and one with jelly
2. Take a bite of the peanut butter sandwich, declaring it the best
3. Take a bite of the jelly sandwich, declaring it the best
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 ad infinitum
5. Follow peanut butter or jelly sandwich into grave danger
Sawyer
1. Throw the jar of jelly at wall, sneering “I don’t need no sandwich”
2. Call the mascot on the jar of peanut butter lots of clever nicknames
3. Huff and puff and stomp around and grumble a lot
4. When no one’s looking, make perfect, even, symmetrical peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sit in a corner, enjoying every bite
Locke
1. Sit idly by, believing that the ingredients will find a way to make a sandwich out of themselves
2. Lose faith and make the sandwich anyway
3. Realize that you were the instrument by which the ingredients chose to make a sandwich after all
4. Run around the room and grab everyone’s knives, insisting that their sandwiches will do the same in time
Hurley
1. Make sandwich
2. Eat sandwich
3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 ad infinitum
Sayid
1. Procure 23 milligrams of uranium-20
2. Set hadron supercollider to eight megajoules
3. Program a sandwich-making macro using Cobol or Visual Basic
4. Act all tough-like
Desmond
1. Eat sandwich
2. Call the sandwich “brother”
3. Place peanut butter slice over jelly slice
4. Spread jelly on the other slice
5. Spread peanut butter on one slice
6. Take two slices of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly
Ben
1. Steal someone else’s sandwich
2. Claim you coerced them into making the sandwich for you all along
3. Say you’ll tell them everything if they make you another sandwich
4. Stare at them all creepy-like
Libby
1. Lay out plans for one of the most intricate, fascinating, and delicious sandwiches of all time
2. Just as you start making it, get shot
Danielle
1. Apply peanut butter
2. Disappear for eight months
3. Apply jelly
4. Disappear for eight months
5. Eat sandwich
Claire
1. Mmmmmmm, peanut butter
Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse
1. Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
2. Have someone take a bite, then tell them it’s a baloney sandwich
3. Make up a whole bunch of other shit, then say you had planned it all along
4. Buy a few yachts
In Which I Pay Homage to My Wife's Fashion Influence
All my knowledge of fashion I owe to Betsy. I don't have any knowledge of fashion, she'll tell you, but still.
For example, I don't understand women's fashion - well, any fashion, I guess - but especially women's fashion. I've sat through what...10 seasons ?... of Project Runway (which I watch solely for the fashion and not because Heidi Klum is the host), but I still don't get it. Stuff the judges like often looks like crap to me.
Betsy shakes here head when I say this. I am not fashion forward. I am a fashion retard, she tells me. And she's right.
Still, most of the time I think I'm right. For example, when 70s fashion started to creep back in to vogue my thought was "Isn't this the stuff you would wear as a joke to a 1970s party?" And it is. If it looked ridiculous in the 70s it looks ridiculous now.
Anything with the word "hippie" or "peasant" in its description makes you look like, well, a hippie or peasant. Hippies are not cute. Peasants smell like the French. Which, in turn, implies that wearing such clothes makes you look like a look like a poor person trying to buy weed with BO.
That can't be good. Yet, in the name of fashion, it is!
Anyway, in scouring the internet for "fun" stuff for my legion of readers, I came across these, and they inspired this post:
And now I am speechless and must return to my work. Discuss.
For example, I don't understand women's fashion - well, any fashion, I guess - but especially women's fashion. I've sat through what...10 seasons ?... of Project Runway (which I watch solely for the fashion and not because Heidi Klum is the host), but I still don't get it. Stuff the judges like often looks like crap to me.
Betsy shakes here head when I say this. I am not fashion forward. I am a fashion retard, she tells me. And she's right.
Still, most of the time I think I'm right. For example, when 70s fashion started to creep back in to vogue my thought was "Isn't this the stuff you would wear as a joke to a 1970s party?" And it is. If it looked ridiculous in the 70s it looks ridiculous now.
Anything with the word "hippie" or "peasant" in its description makes you look like, well, a hippie or peasant. Hippies are not cute. Peasants smell like the French. Which, in turn, implies that wearing such clothes makes you look like a look like a poor person trying to buy weed with BO.
That can't be good. Yet, in the name of fashion, it is!
Anyway, in scouring the internet for "fun" stuff for my legion of readers, I came across these, and they inspired this post:
And now I am speechless and must return to my work. Discuss.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. Prepare to die.
So, they finally found a real WMD in Iraq. Big whoop. I always thought those who said "Bush lied" were morons. Conversely, I think it was late in 2005 when I said to myself "What the hell are we doing in Iraq?"
My Middle East policy clarifies with each passing day. They may not respect the USA, but surely they respect Inigo Montoya.
My Middle East policy clarifies with each passing day. They may not respect the USA, but surely they respect Inigo Montoya.
The Office Newsletter, With Commentary
Restroom Reminders
Even though the toilets flush automatically, you may feel they need to be flushed a second time.
No, I'm good with the 185 decibel autoflush THAT SCARES CRAP OUT OF ME!
Each toilet has a manual button located on the back behind the seat for you to use. See me if you can’t find it.
If you can't find it then you probably shouldn't be driving. Or doing tax returns.
Please report to either Kimberly or me if the toilets are not flushing automatically as they should be.
Gross. Any chance we can get some reading material?
This could be an indication the battery may need replacing.
Or that someone clogged the damn thing. I live with teenage boys. Enough said.
Even though the toilets flush automatically, you may feel they need to be flushed a second time.
No, I'm good with the 185 decibel autoflush THAT SCARES CRAP OUT OF ME!
Each toilet has a manual button located on the back behind the seat for you to use. See me if you can’t find it.
If you can't find it then you probably shouldn't be driving. Or doing tax returns.
Please report to either Kimberly or me if the toilets are not flushing automatically as they should be.
Gross. Any chance we can get some reading material?
This could be an indication the battery may need replacing.
Or that someone clogged the damn thing. I live with teenage boys. Enough said.
Did Not See THAT Coming
Debbie Jones came by my office this morning and broke into a rousing rendition of "Pants on the Ground."
Was I surprised?
Yeah, just a bit.
Was I surprised?
Yeah, just a bit.
Is Nothing Sacred?
My opinions regarding Jihadists are well known (i.e., what's the point of nuclear weapons if you aren't willing to use them?). Many find my position to be over the top and unreconcilable with my demand that we immediately withdraw our troops from Iraq and Afghanistan.
Perhaps.
But when I read something like this I must concede that I am going way to easy on these bastards.
Perhaps.
But when I read something like this I must concede that I am going way to easy on these bastards.
Agents for Britain's MI5 intelligence service have discovered that Muslim doctors trained at some of Britain's leading teaching hospitals have returned to their own countries to fit surgical implants filled with explosives, according to a report from Joseph Farah's G2 Bulletin.
Women suicide bombers recruited by al-Qaida are known to have had the explosives inserted in their breasts under techniques similar to breast enhancing surgery. The lethal explosives – usually PETN (pentaerythritol Tetrabitrate) – are inserted during the operation inside the plastic shapes. The breast is then sewn up.
Similar surgery has been performed on male suicide bombers. In their cases, the explosives are inserted in the appendix area or in a buttock. Both are parts of the body that diabetics use to inject themselves with their prescribed drugs.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
In Which My Life at Home is Revealed
From Betsy's Facebook page:
Betsy Niblick Erickson For sale: globe light fixture for $40. Paid $80 3 years ago. Attaches to most standard ceiling light fixtures. Send me a msg. if you want it!
10 hours ago · Comment · LikeUnlike · Share
Sam Erickson
I'll take it
4 hours ago
Sam Erickson
My adress is 809 foxfield lane in woodland springs. It's right across from al lotts.
4 hours ago
Betsy Niblick Erickson
You are a smartass.
Monday, February 1, 2010
There is nothing on TV on Monday Night
Except Men of a Certain Age. But it comes on at 10. I go to bed at 10.
Because I am of a certain age.
Thank God for DVR. Great Show. You. Must. Watch.
LOST tomorrow. I might wet my pants. Very excited
Modern Family on Wednesday. Awesome show. Very funny; well written.
Thursday? Community. Well written and funny; great cast. The Office. Enough said, shark jumping or not. Fringe. Love it. Especially Dr. Bishop.
Jurgen Prochtnow just killed his son on 24. Jurgen is a bad ass. But cruel. Especially in BeerFest.
Jack Bauer is wearing glasses this season. I think they are TEDS, or as we called them in Special Forces, Tactical Eye Device System. Military issue. Also known as birth control glasses. I have a pair.
Also a vasectomy.
Just in case.
Up. Great Movie. Great. I cried at the 10 minute mark. But Doug made it all worthwhile. And I loved the Kid.
Why has there never been a sitcom about an accounting firm?
Never mind.
You know know what you need to know about TV. Get a drink and watch.
Because I am of a certain age.
Thank God for DVR. Great Show. You. Must. Watch.
LOST tomorrow. I might wet my pants. Very excited
Modern Family on Wednesday. Awesome show. Very funny; well written.
Thursday? Community. Well written and funny; great cast. The Office. Enough said, shark jumping or not. Fringe. Love it. Especially Dr. Bishop.
Jurgen Prochtnow just killed his son on 24. Jurgen is a bad ass. But cruel. Especially in BeerFest.
Jack Bauer is wearing glasses this season. I think they are TEDS, or as we called them in Special Forces, Tactical Eye Device System. Military issue. Also known as birth control glasses. I have a pair.
Also a vasectomy.
Just in case.
Up. Great Movie. Great. I cried at the 10 minute mark. But Doug made it all worthwhile. And I loved the Kid.
Why has there never been a sitcom about an accounting firm?
Never mind.
You know know what you need to know about TV. Get a drink and watch.
Son of a Bee Sting!
Okay, today at lunch we had a meeting. It was dull. How dull, you ask?
Shannon was staring at her thumbs. It struck me as unusual. Then I realized she was trying to determine if one was longer the other. This kept her busy for a good 37 minutes (not that I was timing her). She looked up at one point to check the clock (it was moving backwards) and noticed I was looking at her. I said, "The right one is longer." She said, "I know. But it's not too obvious, is it?"
Melissa Miller snored so loudly she woke herself up.
Kelly and Becca were counting the green and brown threads in the carpet. I know this because their lips were moving. First one to 11,000 won. I am not saying who won, but Becca got to leave first.
Mark Childress hid behind the tree in the corner. I swear I looked up and he was wearing a pith helmet. The next thing I knew he had blended into the background like in the movie Predator. I was going to say something but he gave me the evil eye. Fortunately I killed a goat this morning.
Mark Brumby-low was asked a question and in his answer he said "like Flav-o-Flav" then realized he had done so and pretended he hadn't. But I could tell several people were interested. Because they woke up.
All in all, pretty damn exciting.
Shannon was staring at her thumbs. It struck me as unusual. Then I realized she was trying to determine if one was longer the other. This kept her busy for a good 37 minutes (not that I was timing her). She looked up at one point to check the clock (it was moving backwards) and noticed I was looking at her. I said, "The right one is longer." She said, "I know. But it's not too obvious, is it?"
Melissa Miller snored so loudly she woke herself up.
Kelly and Becca were counting the green and brown threads in the carpet. I know this because their lips were moving. First one to 11,000 won. I am not saying who won, but Becca got to leave first.
Mark Childress hid behind the tree in the corner. I swear I looked up and he was wearing a pith helmet. The next thing I knew he had blended into the background like in the movie Predator. I was going to say something but he gave me the evil eye. Fortunately I killed a goat this morning.
Mark Brumby-low was asked a question and in his answer he said "like Flav-o-Flav" then realized he had done so and pretended he hadn't. But I could tell several people were interested. Because they woke up.
All in all, pretty damn exciting.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
I Am NOT Making This Up
Actual Headline:
Britain on alert for deadly new knife with exploding tip that freezes victims' organs
Surprisingly, the "police are concerned that the £200 weapon could fall into the wrong hands."
Ah yes, the police. The guys who made the top 95% of your high school class possible.
Britain on alert for deadly new knife with exploding tip that freezes victims' organs
Surprisingly, the "police are concerned that the £200 weapon could fall into the wrong hands."
Ah yes, the police. The guys who made the top 95% of your high school class possible.
And Some People Consider Pakistan to be Backwards
Why?
Yeah, you read that correctly.
Some cultures are inferior. It's not politically correct to say that, of course, but that doesn't mean it's not true.
Just a thought, but instead of keeping troops over there in that part of the world, why don't we:
(a) use the nukes we spent so much money on over the years, or
(b) tell them we have cast an evil eye spell on them and if they act badly, well, see (a), above
Pakistan’s president Asif Ali Zardari has been slaughtering black goats every day since becoming President, in an attempt to ward off “the evil eye”.
This particular practice in the Muslim faith is called ‘Sadaqa’, where an animal is slaughtered and its meat distributed among the poor to gain Allah’s blessings and protection from misfortune. “There are many religious traditions in Pakistan based on local culture and Sufi order,” says Samina Ahmed, Head of the International Crisis Group in Pakistan.
Yeah, you read that correctly.
Some cultures are inferior. It's not politically correct to say that, of course, but that doesn't mean it's not true.
Just a thought, but instead of keeping troops over there in that part of the world, why don't we:
(a) use the nukes we spent so much money on over the years, or
(b) tell them we have cast an evil eye spell on them and if they act badly, well, see (a), above
Facebook is Confusing
That's all.
I get poked, then I get comments from people I've never met, then people mock me for commenting TOO MUCH (apparently you can't use more than 6 words in a comment).
My kids don't understand why I am doing it at all.
Still shocked they don't have the sarcasm font figured out yet.
Betsy's older sister is extremely liberal. As in no sentient being really believes in the stuff you believe in liberal.
If you hang out with people from high school on Facebook are there still cool kids? I don't think there are, which suggests that maybe high school should be handled online.
Okay, bad idea. Just a thought.
I get poked, then I get comments from people I've never met, then people mock me for commenting TOO MUCH (apparently you can't use more than 6 words in a comment).
My kids don't understand why I am doing it at all.
Still shocked they don't have the sarcasm font figured out yet.
Betsy's older sister is extremely liberal. As in no sentient being really believes in the stuff you believe in liberal.
If you hang out with people from high school on Facebook are there still cool kids? I don't think there are, which suggests that maybe high school should be handled online.
Okay, bad idea. Just a thought.
Celebrity Doppelganger Week on Facebook
The fact that JD Salinger died the same week as Celebrity Doppelganger Week on Facebook is proof that (a) there is a God and (b) he has a sense of humor.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
A Problem That Can Be Solved
All we hear these days is that these problems our nation has don't have easy solutions, but what the speaker usually means is that he or she is too lazy to do what needs to be done. The Wall Street Journal offers a glimpse into a California problem that really impacts the whole country.
It's that last idea that intrigues me. Is a 5% pay cut that big a deal. Wouldn't you rather have a 5% pay cut than no job? But here's the rub:
Fact: every industry that is unionized is in a world of hurt. Why? Because the economics of unionization don't work anymore. Once upon a time they did. Unions got fat and powerful (Thanks FDR!) and it's obvious they have completely consumed the industries that fed them for so long (e.g.,autos, airlines, steel, government, etc.)
This has been obvious for decades, and in the end, the unions will do what they always do: screw the rank and file. The money isn't there anymore; there's no one left to extort. Union benefits are and always have been a type of Ponzi scheme, and Ponzi schemes always collapse.
Always.
So, Ahnuld, you ain't getting $6.9 B from the feds, and you need to cut your state employee wages by 10% across the board and pension benefits by 15% across the board. It's called living in the real world.
As an aside, why do government workers need a union. Unions, after all, came into being to "level the playing field" and allow workers to negotiate with management on an equal footing. Before before the NLRB and other Democrat union boosting schemes, the thought was that unions needed protection from big, bad management and the government had to step in a referee their negotiations.
But for government workers isn't the government helping to protect the workers from...the government? That makes no sense at all.
Cut them 15% across the board. What is the worst thing that can happen: the level of service goes down?
How would anyone know?
The state is in a precarious position, with a 12.3% unemployment rate (more than two points higher than the national average) and a budget $20 billion in the red (only months after the last budget fix closed a large deficit). Productive Californians are leaving for states with less-punishing regulatory and tax regimes. Yet so far there isn't a broad consensus to do much about those who have prodded the state into its current position: public employee unions that drive costs up and fight to block spending cuts.
Earlier this month, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger proposed a budget that calls for a $6.9 billion handout from Washington (unlikely to be forthcoming) and vows to protect current education funding, 40% of the state's budget. He does want to eliminate the Calworks welfare-to-work program and enact a 5% pay cut for state employees. These are reasonable ideas, but also politically unlikely.
It's that last idea that intrigues me. Is a 5% pay cut that big a deal. Wouldn't you rather have a 5% pay cut than no job? But here's the rub:
Approximately 85% of the state's 235,000 employees (not including higher education employees) are unionized. As the governor noted during his $83 billion budget roll-out, over the past decade pension costs for public employees increased 2,000%. State revenues increased only 24% over the same period. A Schwarzenegger adviser wrote in the San Jose Mercury News in the past few days that, "This year alone, $3 billion was diverted to pension costs from other programs." There are now more than 15,000 government retirees statewide who receive pensions that exceed $100,000 a year, according to the California Foundation for Fiscal Responsibility.
Many of these retirees are former police officers, firefighters, and prison guards who can retire at age 50 with a pension that equals 90% of their final year's pay. The pensions for these (and all other retirees) increase each year with inflation and are guaranteed by taxpayers forever—regardless of what happens in the economy or whether the state's pensions funds have been fully funded (which they haven't been).
A 2008 state commission pegged California's unfunded pension liability at $63.5 billion, which will be amortized over several decades. That liability, released before the precipitous drop in stock-market and real-estate values, certainly will soar.
Fact: every industry that is unionized is in a world of hurt. Why? Because the economics of unionization don't work anymore. Once upon a time they did. Unions got fat and powerful (Thanks FDR!) and it's obvious they have completely consumed the industries that fed them for so long (e.g.,autos, airlines, steel, government, etc.)
This has been obvious for decades, and in the end, the unions will do what they always do: screw the rank and file. The money isn't there anymore; there's no one left to extort. Union benefits are and always have been a type of Ponzi scheme, and Ponzi schemes always collapse.
Always.
So, Ahnuld, you ain't getting $6.9 B from the feds, and you need to cut your state employee wages by 10% across the board and pension benefits by 15% across the board. It's called living in the real world.
As an aside, why do government workers need a union. Unions, after all, came into being to "level the playing field" and allow workers to negotiate with management on an equal footing. Before before the NLRB and other Democrat union boosting schemes, the thought was that unions needed protection from big, bad management and the government had to step in a referee their negotiations.
But for government workers isn't the government helping to protect the workers from...the government? That makes no sense at all.
Cut them 15% across the board. What is the worst thing that can happen: the level of service goes down?
How would anyone know?
Friday, January 22, 2010
That Really Had To Hurt
Turn down the sound and prepare to wince. I am pretty sure the old "no one was injured in the making of this video" line does not apply.
I also can't believe this video does not include either the health care bill or the Massachusetts senatorial election.
I also can't believe this video does not include either the health care bill or the Massachusetts senatorial election.
Best Fails of 2009 - watch more funny videos
Who Said It?
“We’ve got to eliminate programs that don’t work, and we’ve got to make sure that the programs that we do have are more efficient and cost less.”
Give up?
Yup, that was Barack F. Obama.
Guess he needs to take a look at Head Start. Although my son says I can't say it, this is an epic fail kind of deal.
Head Start is one of those liberal darling programs. It's really hard to be against a program that tries to help improve the education of disadvantaged kids. On paper it makes some degree of sense.
Just one little problem: IT DOESN'T WORK.
This is typical of most (indeed, arguably ALL) liberal programs - they are well-intentioned efforts to fix a recognized societal problem. Head Start didn't make things worse, at least. That's normally what happens.
This report should kill Head Start, because after 40 years it's obvious it doesn't work. But it won't.
The same analysis applies to Medicare. Time to start over.
Give up?
Yup, that was Barack F. Obama.
Guess he needs to take a look at Head Start. Although my son says I can't say it, this is an epic fail kind of deal.
Head Start is one of those liberal darling programs. It's really hard to be against a program that tries to help improve the education of disadvantaged kids. On paper it makes some degree of sense.
Just one little problem: IT DOESN'T WORK.
This is typical of most (indeed, arguably ALL) liberal programs - they are well-intentioned efforts to fix a recognized societal problem. Head Start didn't make things worse, at least. That's normally what happens.
This report should kill Head Start, because after 40 years it's obvious it doesn't work. But it won't.
The same analysis applies to Medicare. Time to start over.
It's Been a Political Week
Okay, to recap:
Massachusetts elects a Republican to fill Ted Freaking Kennedy's Senate seat.
The top secret, no one knows what is in it, doesn't really accomplish much but costs a bundle Health Care Reform Bill dies an ignominious death.
Air America crashes and burns. Finally.
Martini, anyone?
Then there is this:
Gays support Obama, who immediately bones them (this is the theme of his first year in office). Cindy McCain steps up does and ad that openly supports of the kind of stuff gays most want from government: equal treatments and respect.
Now I think reasonable people can disagree on these so-called gay issues in good faith. I think it is better to win hearts and minds over time and win at the ballot box than to get courts to fix a perceived problem. I think in the long run gays will get most of what they want (although maybe not in exactly the form they want) because I think most Americans are good, decent people who believe everyone deserves a fair shake.
I don't care if someone is gay; why should I? All I care about is if they are a good person. I think most people feel this way because it's the American Way.
Massachusetts elects a Republican to fill Ted Freaking Kennedy's Senate seat.
The top secret, no one knows what is in it, doesn't really accomplish much but costs a bundle Health Care Reform Bill dies an ignominious death.
Air America crashes and burns. Finally.
Martini, anyone?
Then there is this:
Gays support Obama, who immediately bones them (this is the theme of his first year in office). Cindy McCain steps up does and ad that openly supports of the kind of stuff gays most want from government: equal treatments and respect.
Now I think reasonable people can disagree on these so-called gay issues in good faith. I think it is better to win hearts and minds over time and win at the ballot box than to get courts to fix a perceived problem. I think in the long run gays will get most of what they want (although maybe not in exactly the form they want) because I think most Americans are good, decent people who believe everyone deserves a fair shake.
I don't care if someone is gay; why should I? All I care about is if they are a good person. I think most people feel this way because it's the American Way.
Schadenfreude!
Air America is finally out of business for good.
To be honest, I think we are better served if there is more than just conservative talk radio out there. But I think this proves two things: (1) there is NO market for the ideas of the far left, which has been intellectually and morally bankrupt for about 50 years and (2) there is a market for ideas on the right (but not so much the far right) because most of the ideas - not all, but most - are close enough to the center that a large number of people agree with them in whole or in part.
To be honest, I think we are better served if there is more than just conservative talk radio out there. But I think this proves two things: (1) there is NO market for the ideas of the far left, which has been intellectually and morally bankrupt for about 50 years and (2) there is a market for ideas on the right (but not so much the far right) because most of the ideas - not all, but most - are close enough to the center that a large number of people agree with them in whole or in part.
Message to Republicans
Dudes,
Just because you've been winning some big elections doesn't mean America suddenly likes or trusts you. It's more a function of the fact that the Democratic Party leadership have proven themselves to be total douches, kind of like you guys did when you were in charge a few years back.
So don't start celebrating...we still hate you guys, too!
There are problems, real problems, facing this country. They have solutions. These solutions aren't perfect and you'll both have to compromise, but it can be done.
So the moral of this story: don't be a douche. I know it's hard for you guys, but give it a try.
And get the hell out of Afghanistan and Iraq. I don't know what the difference is between winning and losing in either place, so why keep spending money we don't have? That's what a douche would do.
Just because you've been winning some big elections doesn't mean America suddenly likes or trusts you. It's more a function of the fact that the Democratic Party leadership have proven themselves to be total douches, kind of like you guys did when you were in charge a few years back.
So don't start celebrating...we still hate you guys, too!
There are problems, real problems, facing this country. They have solutions. These solutions aren't perfect and you'll both have to compromise, but it can be done.
So the moral of this story: don't be a douche. I know it's hard for you guys, but give it a try.
And get the hell out of Afghanistan and Iraq. I don't know what the difference is between winning and losing in either place, so why keep spending money we don't have? That's what a douche would do.
A Short Trip Back to the 1980s
The girl in this video is Scott Brown's wife, circa 1984. The song sucks, but I am in no way offended that she once wore a bikini in a music video. Nor am I offended that he posed nude for Cosmo. Yet someone thinks I should be.
Suffering succotash! I don't care too much what someone did in their youth so long as it was not illegal, and even then I'd cut most folks some slack depending on what the offense was. If they were just hurting themselves (e.g., drug use), do I really care? No. What you did 20-30 years ago will, in most cases, have very little to do with who you are today.
Do I care that Teddy Kennedy was a drunken, cheating philanderer in his youth? No. I care that he was a drunken, cheating philanderer while he was a U.S. Senator.
And I do care if someone used to be, say, a card carrying commie AND THEY STILL THINK THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Or if they used to blow stuff up and kill people as a sign of protest and THEY STILL THINK THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
These examples, of course, identify a few current and former members of the Obama Administration or close friends of the Pres. Now that bothers me.
Monday, January 18, 2010
I Have No Idea
Rarely has the phrase" Hey you! Out of the gene pool" been more apropos. This guy has FUTURE POSTAL WORKER written all over him.
Golden Globes Last Night
I know what you are thinking: WHO GIVES A *&^%? I agree, but I feel compelled to comment on all awards shows.
First, Jeff Bridges won. Finally. One of my all time favorite actors. A truly nice guy, consummate professional, and, among the rarest of all things in Hollywood, a genuine, decent, family man. Jeff Bridges is awesome. Enough said.
Second, can you beat the excitement every year of waiting to see if Meryl Streep would beat out Meryl Streep. I mean, I am glad Meryl Streep won for Julia and Julia or whatever it was called because Besty really liked it, but I was also disappointed for Meryl Streep because she lost for It's Complicated, which just came out and no one has seen yet.
Third, Monique. Just because you were in BeerFest only gets you so far. Shave your damn legs!
I love it when the fashion experts conclude that Heidi Klum, Halle Berry, Olivia Wilde or Penelope Cruz look fabulous. Duh! Helen Keller could see that. I don't give a damn if these losers like their dress or not.
Penelope Cruz got a C+. I don't even know who this other chick is (BUT HER SLIP IS SHOWING), but she is no Penelope Cruz and she got a B+. So STFU.
Finally, I was very happy it rained. Because California needs the rain. Also because these pinheads all need to be taken down a notch. Attending the Golden Freaking Globes is not the same as actually helping out with the relief efforts in Haiti, even though most of the attendees seemed to think so. Led of course by George Clooney. Can't wait for his Haiti Telethon! I wish he had gotten his head blown off by Brad Pitt in Burn After Reading rather than vice versa. And if you haven't seen it yet THAT DOES NOT REALLY HAPPEN IN THE MOVIE.
And before I forget, enough with the ribbons. Who designs these things? I am going to start wearing ribbons so people will ask me what they are for and I'll tell them some compelling story about pre-teens who are too poor to buy a ticket to see Twilight or New Moon and then I'll sell a million of them and take a year off from work.
Matt Damon put ina plug for UNICEF. Matt Damon, another mega douche. I'd rather burn my money than to see a single penny pass thru the hands of the UN. Guaranteed not one penny makes it to Haiti.
First, Jeff Bridges won. Finally. One of my all time favorite actors. A truly nice guy, consummate professional, and, among the rarest of all things in Hollywood, a genuine, decent, family man. Jeff Bridges is awesome. Enough said.
Second, can you beat the excitement every year of waiting to see if Meryl Streep would beat out Meryl Streep. I mean, I am glad Meryl Streep won for Julia and Julia or whatever it was called because Besty really liked it, but I was also disappointed for Meryl Streep because she lost for It's Complicated, which just came out and no one has seen yet.
Third, Monique. Just because you were in BeerFest only gets you so far. Shave your damn legs!
I love it when the fashion experts conclude that Heidi Klum, Halle Berry, Olivia Wilde or Penelope Cruz look fabulous. Duh! Helen Keller could see that. I don't give a damn if these losers like their dress or not.
Penelope Cruz got a C+. I don't even know who this other chick is (BUT HER SLIP IS SHOWING), but she is no Penelope Cruz and she got a B+. So STFU.
Finally, I was very happy it rained. Because California needs the rain. Also because these pinheads all need to be taken down a notch. Attending the Golden Freaking Globes is not the same as actually helping out with the relief efforts in Haiti, even though most of the attendees seemed to think so. Led of course by George Clooney. Can't wait for his Haiti Telethon! I wish he had gotten his head blown off by Brad Pitt in Burn After Reading rather than vice versa. And if you haven't seen it yet THAT DOES NOT REALLY HAPPEN IN THE MOVIE.
And before I forget, enough with the ribbons. Who designs these things? I am going to start wearing ribbons so people will ask me what they are for and I'll tell them some compelling story about pre-teens who are too poor to buy a ticket to see Twilight or New Moon and then I'll sell a million of them and take a year off from work.
Matt Damon put ina plug for UNICEF. Matt Damon, another mega douche. I'd rather burn my money than to see a single penny pass thru the hands of the UN. Guaranteed not one penny makes it to Haiti.
Man, where doe the time go?
Eight days since my last post. Pathetic. Not as pathetic as Lane "The Douche" Kiffin, but still pathetic.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Random Thoughts for the Day
Courtesy of Amanda Casey. Lord knows where she got them from.
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this item ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?
Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day, "Dad, what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How do I respond to that?
19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this item ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?
Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day, "Dad, what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How do I respond to that?
19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
This Week in Crapazines
Who gives a crap?
I mean really. I do not get the female obsession with crapazines like People, Us Weekly and InTouch. But it's a consumer driven society. You gotta give them what they want, even if it's total crap.
So here you go. Mariah Carey gave an acceptance speech last night at the Palm Springs International Film Festival (whatever THAT is) for her role in the movie Precious (never heard of it). She won an award. Must have been for worst actress of all time or something. Anyway, it's worth a few seconds of your time to hear her drunken babbling.
It's kind of funny. Admit it. You laughed. I know you did.
I mean really. I do not get the female obsession with crapazines like People, Us Weekly and InTouch. But it's a consumer driven society. You gotta give them what they want, even if it's total crap.
So here you go. Mariah Carey gave an acceptance speech last night at the Palm Springs International Film Festival (whatever THAT is) for her role in the movie Precious (never heard of it). She won an award. Must have been for worst actress of all time or something. Anyway, it's worth a few seconds of your time to hear her drunken babbling.
It's kind of funny. Admit it. You laughed. I know you did.
LOST Returns
February 2. The Lost Supper. Get it?
Unless that bastard Obama moves the freaking State of the Union to February 2! That will really upset me, and I am already pretty mad at him.
We gave up caring about the State of the Union address a long time ago. All that stupid clapping and watching old guys sleeping. It sucks!
Jefferson had it right, as usual. Just send a note. That's right, Jefferson didn't see the point in making a speech. And he didn't even have to worry about pre-empting LOST. Freaking genius that man was.
If I was President that's what I would do. I'd send a note that says:
Dudes. You have got to be kidding me! You are a bunch of crooks and everyone knows it. Cut the crap. Spend less money or I am going to veto your asses back to the Stone Age.
Movie Review: Inglorious Basterds
Awesome movie. YOU.MUST.SEE.IT.
A little violent, but in that uniquely Quentin Tarantino over the top style that is laced with humor in a way that makes it tolerable.
A war movie in which the good guys (Americans) win. Can't believe Hollywood made it, actually. They could make the same movie today about hunting down al Queda using the exact same tactics (which, of course, is something I strongly advocate, especially the part where we carve stuff on the foreheads of those we don't kill so we can always identify them) and it would be a cause celebre among on the Left because it shows how rotten Americans are.
I have a new found respect for Brad Pitt, who I always thought was a great supporting actor trapped in a leading man's body. He should get an Academy Award nomination. Of course, he won't.
Bastards.
Footnote: Tarantino has Knoxville ties and usually has a reference in his films to K-Town. In this flick the reference is to Maynardville. How cool is that?
Note to Self: must work on all-time favorite movie list and guilty pleasure movie list.
A little violent, but in that uniquely Quentin Tarantino over the top style that is laced with humor in a way that makes it tolerable.
A war movie in which the good guys (Americans) win. Can't believe Hollywood made it, actually. They could make the same movie today about hunting down al Queda using the exact same tactics (which, of course, is something I strongly advocate, especially the part where we carve stuff on the foreheads of those we don't kill so we can always identify them) and it would be a cause celebre among on the Left because it shows how rotten Americans are.
I have a new found respect for Brad Pitt, who I always thought was a great supporting actor trapped in a leading man's body. He should get an Academy Award nomination. Of course, he won't.
Bastards.
Footnote: Tarantino has Knoxville ties and usually has a reference in his films to K-Town. In this flick the reference is to Maynardville. How cool is that?
Note to Self: must work on all-time favorite movie list and guilty pleasure movie list.
Tax Season
"Ah, now there's the rub."
That's Coleridge. One of my favorite lines. But I digress.
Yes, tax season begins (kinda sorta) tomorrow. It's not that bad. I worry more about future tax seasons as the tax code is unquestionably going to get worse and worse and taxes more onerous. On the one hand, I should note that is good for my business. On the other hand, IT SUCKS AND IT'S BAD FOR THE COUNTRY IN A MILLION DIFFERENT WAYS.
Son of a bee sting.
We need to get rid of every SOB in Washington. 'Nuff said.
That's Coleridge. One of my favorite lines. But I digress.
Yes, tax season begins (kinda sorta) tomorrow. It's not that bad. I worry more about future tax seasons as the tax code is unquestionably going to get worse and worse and taxes more onerous. On the one hand, I should note that is good for my business. On the other hand, IT SUCKS AND IT'S BAD FOR THE COUNTRY IN A MILLION DIFFERENT WAYS.
Son of a bee sting.
We need to get rid of every SOB in Washington. 'Nuff said.
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