Last stupid joke

 Why was six afraid of seven? 

Because seven was a well known six offender.

Duh.

blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

Wait, what?

My bad. I was thinking about Obama for a second.

The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.

Just saying.

95 days

If there are going to be 95 days  like this then it is going to be a long haul. Yet, remarkably, I feel okay about day 1.  Ups and downs? Sure.  Stress? Without it, what is the point of blood pressure?

Am I a little embittered about all of the pregnancies? Yeah, a little.  But not so much I cannot see beyond my own self interest and be happy for a new life and the endless possibilities that child may have.

Life is good, and it's funny how a little bit of adversity tends to make us lose sight of that. So I am resolved not to let that happen to me. Yeah, I'll fail from time to time, but I have faith that I can come out ahead as a result of all of this.

Do the right things for the right reasons and you generally do.

Understanding the Three Posts That Follow

In the upper lefthand corner of each video you will find a mute button that you need to turn off.

The Case For Smaller Government

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but a video….

Many Blondes Will Not Get This

John Bailes, As Seen at a Traffic Light

The Sad, Inescapable Truth About Obamacare

Modern Healthcare points out what anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of economics should know:

Massachusetts, whose health care reform program was used as a template for the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, had the highest per capita health spending in the U.S. in 2009. According to the commission's report, the state spent $9,278 per person on health care in 2009, which was 36 percent higher than the national average of $6,815, and 11.2 percent more than the next-highest state, New York, which spent $8,341.

It's not that healthcare reform wasn't a good idea.  Rather, it's that its architects  simply didn't - and clearly still don't -understand how the world actually works.  So they took a problem and made it much, much worse.

The road to hell is always paved with good intentions.

Victor Hugo.

Have to say this is a really, really nice place. The views are spectacular, and the French people with whom I have interacted have been very nice. So far I have to say that their reputation is not deserved at all. Of course, part of that could be is that I have this really pathetic expression on my face when the say something to me that I do not understand. I have a habit of turning immediately to Betsy or Sam with a look of panic that must be akin to what one looks like when they realize their plane is about to crash.

Anyway, they take pity on me and usually say something like "Do not worr-eeeee, Monsieur. I speak the English." then I smile, tell them I am a big fan of the Pink Panther movies, and everything seems to be fine.

Actually, the running joke in the house is that I just say a string of French words that have no relevance whatsoever to the situation, changing inflection to make it sound like a sentence. Example:

Jann (she is one of our Aussie friends, so when you read the following imagine Crocodile Dundee saying it): Oi, mate! Are Betsy and and Sam back from town yet?
Me: Bon jour! Marion Cottilard Catherine Deneuve Carla Bruni D'Artagnan Notre Dame.

A lot of laughter so far. Laughter is a very good thing, maybe the best of things.

If I knew how to attach photos I would. Yesterday we went into town, and it's just like in the movies. Same told me that every alley reminded him of a chase scene from a James Bond movie. The church was built in the 1300s, and it was really neat. They had these old paintings on the walls. One looked like the Last Supper, but there were kids there and the attire was a bit more informal, so I am thinking maybe it was the Last Brunch.

Enjoyed the late afternoon thinking about the Fourth of July and drinking to the health of the USA (and cursing Barack Hussein Obama) by the pool. Quote of the day goes to Jack, who looked up momentarily from his iTouch at the beautiful valley and river below sand observed, "This does not suck."

The drive down reminded me a good bit of East Tennessee. There were parts of it where Sam or Jack would say, "Dad, doesn't this look like the drive back from Norris Lake?" which it kind of did, except they don't have billboards here (except for one town - go figure).

Random observations of no particular significance:

Got a six back of pretty good beer for 2 Euros (about $3). Now THAT does not suck.

A lot of stuff at the grocery store was ridiculously inexpensive. You can buy a baguette for $0.40.

So far, not a place to buy a steak. Or any meat for that matter.

Pastries are really, really good. And good for you.

Not as much smoking as I expected. It's banned in stores and restaurants now, but it's not enforced. Still, did not see much it, at least not yet.

They definitely do not have the "open 24 hour" mentality over here. Let me tell, you - it really spoils you when you get can't just run to Weigels or Kroger and get what you need when you need it. Then again, maybe that is not a good thing.

Only saw Paris from the interstate (which they don't call the interstate - it's le interstate). Didn't see much, but man they have a lot of graffiti. It was in French, of course, but apparently the French word for "f&$@" is "f$&@." Small world.

The speed limit here is 130 kmh, or about 81 mph. The Germans (i.e., everyone in a Mercedes or BMW), however, drive much faster than that. We have a pretty nice mid-size Peugot five speed. It will do the speed limit with ease. Only problem is that GPS beeps every time I go over it. Who was the bastard who came up with that?

I am the only one in the house who gets up early, just like at home. But I have to say it's pretty nice.

They do not refrigerate their milk - at least not at the store.

Checking In

At Charlotte.

In case you were concerned, BAC is approaching an acceptable level.

Note to self: if elected supreme ruler of the universe, make sure all airports have a micro brew restaurant. It 's just basic human decency.

Bon jour, bitches! Trip to France, Part 1

Okay, so I am sitting at the airport in Knoxville. The big day is finally here. Been waiting for months. Very excited, of course.

My excitement takes many forms. The first leg of the trip is a short flight to Charlotte. Easy squeeze lemon leash, as they say. Well, maybe not "they" literally - but I have heard Michael Caine say it and it really sounds cool when he does.

anyway, right now my focus is on one thing: SkyMall. I.Love.SkyMall. It's like a magazine full of dumb infomercials. My current favorite is the "Garden Yeti" statue. For just $115 you get a realistic looking statue of Bigfoot for your garden or patio. It's only four feet tall, but it is still pretty cool.

http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102517807#

You know you want one.

Okay, I need a beer before I fly, even a short leg. Nerves. Also, it's my vacation. Need to get the BAC to the appropriate level.

Until next time, au revoir.

South Harmon Institute of Technology

I figured out last night why our politics are so dysfunctional - nobody has a grip on the facts anymore. My father-in-law made two claims after dinner that I knew were ridiculous. First, he stated that the amount of federal tax revenue generated by individual income taxes was "tiny" compared to other sources of revenue. I nearly jumped out of my chair.

He knows I am right of center; I know he is left of center - so naturally we view each other's claims with suspicion. Here is reality:

Don't believe me? Look it up yourself. This FACT should be known by every voter.

Then he tries to tell me that "50% of all government spending is on the military." Now I happen to agree that we spend way too much on the military. But I also know that military spending is nowhere near 50% of the budget.

Here's another helpful chart:

Sixteen percent. No 50%. Big difference. If you don't know facts like this you really shouldn't be voting.

And why don't our politicians share facts like this? I think most people would like to know.

Need a Job?

We're shutting down the government, right? Because we are out of money.

The deficit is $1.6 trillion. The entire national debt in 1980 - that's almost 200 years - was about that.

Look at the federal jobs that they are still hiring for. That's 40 PAGES OF JOB OFFERS.

I don't want to just shut down the government.

I want the entire city of Washington DC to be destroyed.

Okay, maybe that's a little harsh.

Then again, I haven't heard a better idea yet.

Interesting Medical News from the WSJ

"A former NHS director died after waiting for nine months for an operation--at her own hospital," London's Daily Mail reports:

Margaret Hutchon, a former mayor, had been waiting since last June for a follow-up stomach operation at Broomfield Hospital in Chelmsford, Essex.

But her appointments to go under the knife were cancelled four times and she barely regained consciousness after finally having surgery.

Her devastated husband, Jim, is now demanding answers from Mid Essex Hospital Services NHS Trust--the organisation where his wife had served as a non-executive member of the board of directors.

He said: "I don't really know why she died. I did not get a reason from the hospital. We all want to know for closure. She got weaker and weaker as she waited and operations were put off."
It would be cruel to put this down to karma, so instead we'll just note that it can't possibly be true. After all, as New York Times star columnist Paul Krugman has observed, "In Britain, the government itself runs the hospitals and employs the doctors. We've all heard scare stories about how that works in practice; these stories are false."

Today's Times features a news story on socialized medicine right here in the U.S.:

Of all the terrible chronic diseases, only one--end-stage kidney disease--gets special treatment by the federal government. A law passed by Congress 39 years ago provides nearly free care to almost all patients whose kidneys have failed, regardless of their age or ability to pay.
Guess what happened? "The law has had unintended consequences." Nooooo, it can't be! The Times explains:

It was meant to keep young and middle-aged people alive and productive. Instead, many of the patients who take advantage of the law are old and have other medical problems, often suffering through dialysis as a replacement for their failed kidneys but not living long because the other chronic diseases kill them.
The solution is to hasten the deaths of those patients. But of course you can't say that, so docs are coming up with new euphemisms:

Kidney specialists are pushing doctors to be more forthright with elderly people who have other serious medical conditions, to tell the patients that even though they are entitled to dialysis, they may want to decline such treatment and enter a hospice instead. In the end, it is always the patient's choice.

One idea, promoted by leading specialists, is to change the way doctors refer to the decision to forgo dialysis. Instead of saying that a patient is withdrawing from dialysis or agreeing not to start it, these specialists say the patient has chosen "medical management without dialysis."

"That is the preferred term," said Nancy Armistead, executive director of the Mid-Atlantic Renal Coalition, a Medicare contractor that collects data and patient grievances.
The phrase, she says, "acknowledges that death is imminent," but it also sends an important message: "We are not just sending people home to die. We are offering palliative care."
Hey, here's an idea. Let's get Congress to pass legislation making the government responsible for providing all kinds of medical care to everyone. Then we can all get palliative care, even if our kidneys are fine!

Token Shark Picture

The Australians, however, remain nonplussed.

HAWKS NEST, Australia - Shocking photos emerged Thursday of a great white shark lurking in the shallow waters of an Australian beach as two little boys play happily on the sand.

The photographs, published by The (Sydney) Daily Telegraph, show how frighteningly close the juvenile maneater came to the shoreline at Bennetts beach in Hawks Nest, a popular tourist destination about 130 miles (210 km) north of Sydney.

The images were taken a few weeks ago on the same stretch of beach where wakeboarder Lisa Mondy was mauled by a great white on March 16.

Locals said that while shark sightings were not uncommon, to see them so close to the beach was rare and alarming.

David and Tracey Lowe were at the beach the day these photos were taken and saw a 6.5 ft (2m) great white, less than 32ft (10m) from the beach.

"We thought this was a good spot to go swimming and at first it looked like a shadow or something in the water," Tracey Lowe said.

"Then this wave came up and you could see the shark swimming through it. Once you got over the fear it was quite fascinating.

"There were two sharks at one point but the other one just came in close for a short while and then moved out again."

Hawks Nest Surf Life Saving Club president Stephen Howell said sightings were common at this time of year because of the schools of bait fish and salmon in the area, adding, "That's what the sharks are after."

Rare and alarming, huh? Excuse me while I go change my underwear.

Hmmm...What's Wrong Here?

State Worker Who Took Fridays Off For 17 Years Has Day In Court

The former director of the state prison system’s food operations – who cheated state taxpayers out of a half million dollars using falsified travel and attendance documents – pleaded guilty to second degree grand larceny in Oneida County Court. Howard Dean, director of the Department of Corrections’ Food Production Center (DOCS) was paid huge sums for falsified travel reimbursement claims and fraudulently filed attendance records. He also failed to indicate he took every Friday off for 17 years. The discovery was made by New York State auditors and investigators, together with the State Inspector General’s office.

“There is never a good time to rip off the taxpayers,” said New York State Comptroller Thomas DiNapoli. “But taking every Friday off for 17 years – and getting paid for it – is particularly galling, especially at a time when so many New Yorkers are out of work. Mr. Dean didn’t show up for work, but he’ll have to show up for jail, and there are no Fridays off in prison. His sentence should send a message to any public official with sticky fingers: watch out – we will find you.”

As part of a plea deal, Dean is expected to be sentenced to 6 months in jail and five years probation. The probationary period begins at the time of sentencing and runs concurrent to the jail time. Dean has also agreed to pay $50,000 restitution at arraignment and an additional $50,000 restitution during the 5-year probationary period.

Wait. What? You steal $500,000 (minimum) and you pay back $100,000?

In view of the fraudulent time and attendance records Dean filed, DiNapoli’s office is reviewing his retirement credits for potential recalculation.

Why would he get ANY pension at all? This guy has forfeited all of his rights.

DiNapoli’s auditors and investigators, together with the State Inspector General’s office, found that Dean never worked on Fridays but was paid for working full-time at a cost to taxpayers of almost $230,000 -- plus $18,000 in vacation time he never really earned. Additionally, he cheated the state taxpayers out of $205,000 in improper travel reimbursements, $32,000 for inappropriate use of a state vehicle, and $7,300 in falsified claims for travel expenses. He lived in state owned housing he wasn't entitled to, valued at $2,900, and he double dipped on meal reimbursements worth $1,800. DiNapoli and the Inspector General published a report on this abuse last April and forwarded it to Oneida County District attorney Scott McNamara.

As a result of a second audit and investigation by DiNapoli’s and the IG’s offices, Dean was also found to have steered contracts to favored vendors in exchange for lavish meals and gifts. The case centering on those charges has yet to be resolved.

Want to bet what his party affiliation is?

Nancy Pelosi. Still Alive. Unfortunately.

The. Most. Dishonest. Person. On Earth.

Nancy Pelosi is an evil, despicable human being.

That the nicest thing I can say about her.

If the Problem with Politics is the Money, Then Explain This.

Top US political donors from the 20 years OpenSecrets.org, courtesy of these guys:

Justin Beiber...or a Sloth? You Make the Call.

From BuzzFeed.

Final Standings (Except for Chuck Cruze)

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 greg erickson 568 40 568 40 Duke (122)
2 Jessie Hamilton 561 41 561 41 Kansas (150)
3 Zane Duncan 519 38 519 38 Duke (148)
4 Connie Leggett 518 38 518 38 Kansas (89)
5 Chuck Cruze 512 37 540 38 Connecticut (123)
6 Andrew Pitts 507 37 507 37 Duke (158)
7 Perry Griffin 506 37 506 37 Kansas (144)
8 Phyllis Hodge 496 37 496 37 Kansas (178)
9 Phyllis Hodge 496 37 496 37 Kansas (178)
10 Hallie Richards 495 37 495 37 Pittsburgh (162)
11 will akers 493 37 493 37 Ohio St. (147)
12 Alli Pressley 485 35 485 35 Duke (146)
13 Jim McCollum 480 34 480 34 Pittsburgh (135)
14 Buddy Hamilton 479 36 479 36 North Carolina (156)
15 Greg Gilbert 475 36 475 36 Ohio St. (145)
16 Whitney McGowan 474 36 474 36 Ohio St. (156)
17 Sandy Richards 468 35 468 35 Ohio St. (157)
18 Kristen Hicks 457 34 457 34 North Carolina (143)
19 Glenn Sharp 454 34 454 34 Ohio St. (117)
20 Nelson Swainson 449 34 449 34 North Carolina (155)
21 Melissa Cruze 447 34 447 34 Duke (114)
22 Steve Richards 446 34 446 34 Kansas (151)
23 Emily Sills 444 34 444 34 Ohio St. (131)
24 Daniel Kittrell 443 31 443 31 Ohio St. (154)
25 Alex Hodge 441 33 441 33 Duke (123)
26 John Bailes 440 32 440 32 Ohio St. (159)
27 david young 439 33 439 33 Ohio St. (152)
28 Mark King 438 33 438 33 Duke (140)
29 Tyler Morrow 436 33 436 33 Ohio St. (158)
30 Jeff Hodge 435 33 435 33 Ohio St. (160)
31 Jeff Hodge 432 33 432 33 Duke (160)
32 David Babb 428 33 428 33 Kansas (130)
33 David Babb 428 33 428 33 Kansas (130)
34 Ben Alexander 424 33 424 33 Ohio St. (150)
35 Gina Swainson 423 33 423 33 Kentucky (162)
36 andrew hartung 422 32 422 32 Kansas (131)
36 LAnne Joseph 421 32 421 32 Notre Dame (132)
36 Matthew McGowan 419 32 419 32 Duke (167)
36 Sam Erickson 418 31 418 31 Kansas (151)
36 Daniel Fox 415 31 415 31 Pittsburgh (159)
36 C Baxter 414 31 414 31 Kentucky (100)
36 Jenna Campbell 409 31 409 31 Pittsburgh (141)
36 Bill Kelso 385 28 385 28 Ohio St. (140)
36 Andrew Pitts 356 26 356 26 Ohio St. (160)

Well played, Miss Hamilton. Well played. Your 41 correct would have won many brackets, but the seeding bonus proved the difference. As Ricky Booby once observed, life isn't fair and finishing second only means that you are first among the losers. (A position I know all too well.)

Strong showings from Connie Leggett and rookie Zane Duncan were noteworthy, as was Chuck Cruze's prescient choice of Connecticut. I'll have to interview each of these stalwart competitors in the coming days, as well as Andrew "Daniel Faraday" Pitts, who managed to come in both 6th and 36th - proving that time travel is possible, but it doesn't mean it enables you to buy winning lottery tickets.

In the High Stakes Division

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 Greg Erickson 57 40 57 40 Ohio St. (120)
2 Jeremy Shoop 54 37 54 37 Ohio St. (126)
2 Jim McCollum 54 38 54 38 Ohio St. (135)
2 Kristen Hicks 54 38 54 38 Ohio St. (134)
2 Paul Burris 54 36 54 36 Pittsburgh (153)
6 Todd Bealer 53 34 53 34 North Carolina (190)
7 David Belcher 52 35 52 35 Ohio St. (146)
7 Laura Belcher 52 37 52 37 Duke (151)
7 larry brady 52 35 52 35 Kansas (130)
10 gabe beck 51 35 51 35 Kansas (150)
10 Kevin Mead 51 36 51 36 Duke (151)
10 Pat O'Connor 51 36 51 36 Kansas (143)
13 David Babb 50 33 50 33 Kansas (130)
13 jason brady 50 34 50 34 Kansas (152)
15 Laura Belcher 48 35 48 35 Ohio St. (162)
15 robby vincill 48 34 48 34 North Carolina (145)
17 Bette Brady 47 33 47 33 Ohio St. (136)
18 BJ Mack 46 32 46 32 North Carolina (118)
18 david young 46 33 46 33 Kansas (154)
18 Jonathan Hart 46 33 46 33 Kansas (160)
18 Rachel McCollum 46 33 46 33 Ohio St. (144)
18 shannon beck 46 32 46 32 Duke (145)
23 Andrew Pitts 45 34 45 34 Syracuse (159)
24 tom joseph 44 32 44 32 Ohio St. (169)
25 LAnne Joseph 43 33 43 33 Ohio St. (126)
25 Tom Joseph 43 32 43 32 Pittsburgh (130)
27 Bill Kelso 42 29 42 29 Ohio St. (140)

More Politics. Just Watch.

For Betsy

The origin of Angry Birds:

No Comment

The Obama Curse?

This phenomenon has been observed many times (Google "Obama Curse"), but I am starting to believe it.

Obama campaigns for Creigh Deeds in Virginia Governor's race: He lost.
Obama campaigns for Jon Corzine in NJ Governor's race: Another loss.
Obama campaigns for Martha Coakley in Massachusetts Senate race: Epic fail.

Indeed, everyone he campaigns for seems to lose.

Obama lobbies hard for health care: The bill becomes law, but it's constitutionality has been challenged, everyone that applies for a waiver gets one, the law's popularity with the public continues to plummet and it's future is seriously in doubt.

Okay, I know that's all just politics and there may be no correlation whatsoever between Obama and the outcome. So how about sports?

Obama flies overseas just to campaign for the Chicago Olympics: eliminated in the first round of voting.

All his picks in the last two NCAA tournaments: Bye-Bye. In fact, every sports team he picks immediately loses in football, basketball and baseball. (My Celtics desperately need him to heap some praise on the Chicago Bulls.)

Now it appears we're losing in Libya, and even if we win, the "rebels" we saved are al Queda.

In a Van. Down by the River.

Mark Brumbelow dominates "Come as your favorite TV character from the 90s." Who says accountants have no fun?

My Excitement over The Final Four Is Strangely Diminished

All I care about is UConn and Kentucky.

Wonder what the odds were on Butler making consecutive Championship games?

Jay Bilas, Basketball Genius: "VCU has no business being in the NCAA Tournament." - March 13, 2011

The one thing I have learned about experts is that they are no better about making predictions based on their expert knowledge than a chimp throwing darts.

Tell Us How You Really Feel, Part IV

I actually feel badly for the pathetic CNN host who tries - however feebly - to spar with this guy.

Okay, I don't. But It's April Fool's Day.

A Much Needed Laugh

Uh, Okay. But Is This Really an Issue?

Ouch!

I Think This is From the Stimulus Spending

I'd prefer the fine myself.

Dumb Enough To Be in Congress

SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. – A California woman facing nearly five years in prison for forging drug prescriptions showed up for sentencing with a phony doctor's note seeking a delay in the proceedings.

Michelle Elaine Astumian was free on $45,000 bail and pleaded no contest in January to felony counts of forgery and using a fraudulent check.

The 41-year-old woman arrived Monday for sentencing in a San Luis Obispo County courtroom and presented a note with a doctor's signature asking for a postponement.

Prosecutor Dave Pomeroy called the doctor, who said the note is a forgery.

The judge immediately ordered Astumian into custody and she collapsed to the floor. An ambulance took her to a hospital.

Pomeroy told the San Luis Obispo County Tribune that Astumian will be sentenced later, but he doesn't know when.

Wanna bet that when she collapsed she was faking it?

Sadly, I am not making this up.

This would be funny if it wasn't so sad. And yes, I am sure Republicans do the same thing.

I've always known Chuck Schumer was a slimy, no good, worthless, dishonest bastard. Now I know he's worse.

Sen. Charles Schumer, D(Dickhead)-N.Y., a member of the Democratic Senate leadership, got on a conference call with reporters Tuesday morning without realizing the reporters were already listening in. Schumer thought he was on a private line with four Democratic senators who were to talk with reporters about the current budget stalemate.

Schumer instructed the group, made up of Sens. Barbara Boxer of California, Tom Carper of Delaware, Ben Cardin of Maryland and Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut, to tell reporters that the GOP is refusing to negotiate.

He told the group to make sure they label the GOP spending cuts as "extreme."

"I always use extreme, Schumer said. "That is what the caucus instructed me to use."

Someone must have finally told Schumer that the media were listening and he stopped talking midsentence.

Here's a bit more of what he said about House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, according to my notes.

"The main thrust is basically that we want to negotiate and we want to come up with a compromise but the Tea Party is pulling Boehner too far over to the right and so far over that there is no more fruitful negotiations," Schumer said on the call. "The only way we can avoid a shutdown is for Boehner to come up with a reasonable compromise and not just listen to what the Tea Party wants. "

Schumer described Boehner as "in a box," over the budget negotiations.

The four senators came on the call after Schumer abruptly went silent and followed Schumer's script closely.

Coordinating the message is common in both parties, but it's uncommon for reporters to actually hear them rehearsing.

Tar and feathers would be too good for this guy.

It's a Cruel World.

Something That Really Matters

This is all in Japanese, and it's certainly not a big story. It's just a US Navy helicopter crew dropping off some food and water in Sendai, Japan, one of the areas hardest hit by the earthquake, tsunami and reactor problem. The roads to Sendai are blocked. The people there weren't expecting anyone or anything.

America and Americans take a lot crap for all the stuff we do that upset people. Sometimes it's justified, sometimes it isn't and sometimes reasonable people can differ. We're not perfect, but then again I don't remember ever claiming that we were. We're just a human as everyone else on this planet, and just as flawed.

Maybe our motives aren't always pure, but as Colin Powell once observed, all we ever asked for in return was a place to bury our dead. We could have conquered and annexed huge chunks of the world had we wanted to, but we never have.

There's never been a war or a disaster in the last 110 years - and probably longer than that - where there weren't groups of Americans, whether military or civilian, trying to do the right thing. Like in this video. A lot of Americans have died so that others might be free, or fed, or cared for.

That's a pretty noble thing. Profound really, because no other nation can make that claim. (Well, maybe Australia.)

And that is something we ought not ever forget.

For Those Hoping Tiger Had Changed.

Not Happening.

Words Escape Me.

Obama's America.

Guess that says it all.

Bil Kelso, Having Failed in the Brackets....

...attempts a new challenge.



Have to admire the spirit.

All I Need Is The Beard

Incredible

Never failed to get at least two teams into the Final Four before. This year? Zero teams in the Final Four.

Result: BEST YEAR EVER. Besides the other year I won.

I am officially George Costanza.

Which means I can still find a way to lose. Somehow.

Meanwhile, In the Forgotten and Vanquished Division

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 Connie Leggett 518 38 518 38 Kansas (89)
2 Phyllis Hodge 496 37 496 37 Kansas (178)
3 Alli Pressley 485 35 485 35 Duke (146)
4 Buddy Hamilton 479 36 479 36 North Carolina (156)
5 Mark King 438 33 438 33 Duke (140)
6 Jeff Hodge 432 33 432 33 Duke (160)
7 David Babb 428 33 428 33 Kansas (130)
8 LAnne Joseph 421 32 421 32 Notre Dame (132)
9 Andrew Pitts 356 26 356 26 Ohio St. (160)

Go Huskies!

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 greg erickson 568 40 568 40 Duke (122)
2 Jessie Hamilton 561 41 575 42 Kansas (150)
3 Zane Duncan 519 38 519 38 Duke (148)
4 Andrew Pitts 507 37 507 37 Duke (158)
5 Perry Griffin 506 37 506 37 Kansas (144)
6 Chuck Cruze 499 36 540 38 Connecticut (123)
7 Phyllis Hodge 496 37 496 37 Kansas (178)
8 Hallie Richards 495 37 495 37 Pittsburgh (162)
9 will akers 493 37 493 37 Ohio St. (147)
10 Greg Gilbert 475 36 475 36 Ohio St. (145)
11 Whitney McGowan 474 36 474 36 Ohio St. (156)
12 Sandy Richards 468 35 468 35 Ohio St. (157)
13 Jim McCollum 467 33 480 34 Pittsburgh (135)
14 Kristen Hicks 457 34 457 34 North Carolina (143)
15 Glenn Sharp 454 34 454 34 Ohio St. (117)
16 Nelson Swainson 449 34 449 34 North Carolina (155)
17 Melissa Cruze 447 34 447 34 Duke (114)
18 Steve Richards 446 34 446 34 Kansas (151)
19 Emily Sills 444 34 444 34 Ohio St. (131)
20 Daniel Kittrell 443 31 443 31 Ohio St. (154)
21 Alex Hodge 441 33 441 33 Duke (123)
22 John Bailes 440 32 440 32 Ohio St. (159)
23 david young 439 33 439 33 Ohio St. (152)
24 Tyler Morrow 436 33 436 33 Ohio St. (158)
25 Jeff Hodge 435 33 435 33 Ohio St. (160)
26 David Babb 428 33 428 33 Kansas (130)
27 Ben Alexander 424 33 424 33 Ohio St. (150)
28 Gina Swainson 423 33 466 35 Kentucky (162)
29 andrew hartung 422 32 422 32 Kansas (131)
30 Matthew McGowan 419 32 419 32 Duke (167)
31 Sam Erickson 418 31 418 31 Kansas (151)
32 Daniel Fox 415 31 415 31 Pittsburgh (159)
33 C Baxter 414 31 457 33 Kentucky (100)
34 Jenna Campbell 409 31 409 31 Pittsburgh (141)
35 Bill Kelso 385 28 385 28 Ohio St. (140)

At last we meet, Miss Hamilton. It all comes down to this: UK-UConn. Two schools with a history as steeped in tradition as they are NCAA violations.

And There Was Much Rejoicing

Rank Team Name Score Correct Best Score Best Correct Champion
1 Greg Erickson 57 40 57 40 Ohio St. (120)
2 Jeremy Shoop 54 37 54 37 Ohio St. (126)
2 Jim McCollum 54 38 54 38 Ohio St. (135)
2 Kristen Hicks 54 38 54 38 Ohio St. (134)
2 Paul Burris 54 36 54 36 Pittsburgh (153)
6 Todd Bealer 53 34 53 34 North Carolina (190)
7 David Belcher 52 35 52 35 Ohio St. (146)
7 Laura Belcher 52 37 52 37 Duke (151)
7 larry brady 52 35 52 35 Kansas (130)
10 gabe beck 51 35 51 35 Kansas (150)
10 Kevin Mead 51 36 51 36 Duke (151)
10 Pat O'Connor 51 36 51 36 Kansas (143)
13 David Babb 50 33 50 33 Kansas (130)
13 jason brady 50 34 50 34 Kansas (152)
15 Laura Belcher 48 35 48 35 Ohio St. (162)
15 robby vincill 48 34 48 34 North Carolina (145)
17 Bette Brady 47 33 47 33 Ohio St. (136)
18 BJ Mack 46 32 46 32 North Carolina (118)
18 david young 46 33 46 33 Kansas (154)
18 Jonathan Hart 46 33 46 33 Kansas (160)
18 Rachel McCollum 46 33 46 33 Ohio St. (144)
18 shannon beck 46 32 46 32 Duke (145)
23 Andrew Pitts 45 34 45 34 Syracuse (159)
24 tom joseph 44 32 44 32 Ohio St. (169)
25 LAnne Joseph 43 33 43 33 Ohio St. (126)
25 Tom Joseph 43 32 43 32 Pittsburgh (130)
27 Bill Kelso 42 29 42 29 Ohio St. (140)

Computer Ads That Make No Sense

You know how they say that in advertising, sex sells?

I don't think that rule applies to computers.

Seriously?

70s Fashion was a Crime Against Humanity

I think the dude is holding the first laptop.

Don't Tell John. Please.

For the Kids

Jurassic iPhone.